- Joined
- Jan 27, 2006
- Location
- USA
Yesterday I was at Costco buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for my loyal pet, Biscuit, the Wonder Dog, and was in the checkout line when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog.
>
> What did she think I had, an elephant?
> So, since I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog,
> I was starting the Purina Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn't, because I ended up
> in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.
>
> I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry.
> The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again.
> (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.)
>
> Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me.
> I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff an Irish Setter's ass and a car hit us both.
>
> I thought the guy behind her was going to
> have a heart attack he was laughing so hard.
>
> They won't let me shop at that Costco anymore!
>
>
>
> What did she think I had, an elephant?
> So, since I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog,
> I was starting the Purina Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn't, because I ended up
> in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.
>
> I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry.
> The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again.
> (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.)
>
> Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me.
> I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff an Irish Setter's ass and a car hit us both.
>
> I thought the guy behind her was going to
> have a heart attack he was laughing so hard.
>
> They won't let me shop at that Costco anymore!
>
>
