Things Ive Learned

[LaurieJim]

I've learned...
That under everyone's
hard shell is someone
who wants to be
appreciated
and loved.

 

[LaurieJim]

money

I've learned....
That money doesn't
buy class.

 

[LaurieJim]

another good one

I've learned....
That the less time
I have to work,
the more things
I get done.

 

[BingoT]

Things I Have Learned from Children

Things I Have Learned from Children

You should not stand too close to a fire alarm in a large grocery store if your child is in the basket.

A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 square foot house 4 inches deep.

If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.

A 3 year old child's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.

If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape.

If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan and tie it to a paint can, it does spread paint on all four walls of a 20x20 room.

You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on.

When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit.

A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.

The glass in windows (including double pane windows) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.

When you hear the toilet flush along with the words "uh oh," it's already too late.

Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke (and lots of it).

A six-year old can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36 year old man says they can only do it in the movies.

Certain Lego blocks will pass through the digestive tract of a 4 year old.

Play-Doh and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.

Super glue is forever.

No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool, you still can't walk on water.

Pool filters do not like Jell-O.

VCRs do not eject sandwiches, even though TV commercials show they do.

Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.

Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.

You probably don't want to know what that smell is.

Always look in the oven before you turn it on.

Plastic toys do not like ovens.

The fire department in my town has a 5 minute response time.

The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.

The spin cycle on the washing machine does make cats dizzy, however.

Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.

60% of men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake fluid.

 

[heatherad]

As bad as things can get:

When life hands you lemons, make lemonade
Don't stress over things you cannot control
Enjoy each new day like there is no tomorrow
Treat others as you'd like to be treated yourself
And if all else fails, when you die ask them to bury you upside down so the whole world can kiss your a$$

 

[NASHVEGAS]

I've learned....
That money doesn't
buy class.

I've learned....
That money does
buy ass.OK,lighten up!

 

[LaurieJim]

I've learned....
That money does
buy ass.OK,lighten up!

ok vern and what did ya learn ?