Maintaining Control

[Jasminebed]

I don't know if this will be beneficial for anyone else, but I do know talking about this here, with some of who "get it", those who offer advice I value, and probably Goatwack posting something sarcastic and incredibly funny as well.

I've learnt a lot over my years here at CM, but not everything I need to know.

For those who haven't hear me say it before SOMETIMES IT'S WORSE WHEN YOU ARE WINNING.

GAMBLING IS NOT ABOUT MONEY.

Now, these may not be true for everyone, but they are true for me.

In fact my recent win has meant I don't choose between the deposit and take-out or a case of beer... it's tended to mean I have both.

It also has meant my deposits have been higher in general, and my cash out goals are less modest.

Which really adds up over months.

My losses are well within expectations for the amount I've been playing. I'm less active here as I have money in play often.

Been a rare day there's not something to play somewhere.

Now before anyone gets all worried on my behalf, I am doing okay. I am a little afraid to do the exact math, but I've lost @ 10% of my huge win back. Two weeks ago it was closer to 15%.

I got guilty of chasing losses with big bets, at one particular casino that I was doing less well than expectations. I have did much better than expectations at others, so it helped to fund it, rather than it funding my day to day life or home improvements.

I failed to cash out $700 or $800 quite a number of times.

Reversed a 5K cashout over a delay with documents at a casino with a longer pending period and weekend involved. Even though I blew it, I got the docs and banking in now.

That's bad enough, but I spent probably a couple of grand I shouldn't have thinking I had that coming in.

I need to get back on track. I'm doing better at that past month, the break in Cuba definitely helped, as well as getting active on the home reno front.

A trip is one of the few things that I've ever been success saving money for, and I don't want to have to strictly budget in Europe next week. Today was the first in a lot of days I didn't spend hours gambling.

The fact my body has mostly been unhappy has left me unable to do many of the things I should be doing.

I love slotting, I don't want to spin out of control enough that giving it up entirely is my only option.

I was an awful gambler many years ago, got somewhat smarter.

But I seem to have temporarily misplaced some of those smarts. Not every time, there's been a number of more modest cashouts, 60 cents bet and such, up it to a dollar and quit when I'm ahead if I've had the play time I look for.

Whether you are in complete control, or lack any, I know I remain at "at risk" gambler. We are gamblers because we enjoy risk, although I'm really safe and conservative in most aspects of my life. I think this is a relatively safe place to lose control compared to some others.

I still use the measures I've used for years to limit my losses.

But the day to day budget that limited my losses to a great extent went out the window. I still need to load the prepaid, but the ewallet has taken a beating at times.

And a win doesn't mean quite what it used to either. I have the money right now for the important things with or without a cashout.

I want to thank Casino Twitcher for a bit of reality check on just how expensive you should expect your hobby to be, depending on bet size. I wish I could tag someone here like on facebook.

As many know, I'll be visiting the I-Gaming conference in Amsterdam next week, although I'm still unsure if I will become one.

I have some money in available at one casino, another $50 in ecopayz, and probably a prize from 32Red, plus some cashback come Friday at VS. I regrettably upped my deposit limits at OLG to participate in a contest. I did not win the car. I did get a $10 chip today in return for my $350 in deposits. Last week I also won a $24 slot token as well. In some fairness to me, I did have a nice $2K cashout before upping those limits. I've just lowered them back down as I checked the account to see if I won anything else.

Nothing is gonna come out of my pocket between now and my return from Europe.

The next best thing to quitting gambling is quitting depositing.

My birthday is right after my return, I'll evaluate my position after that.

Laugh at me, or with me, chastise me or share your own struggles. This was probably more for me than any of you, although if it helps someone, that would be great.

Over the years, without this place to give advice I know to be true, and to learn from others' failures and triumphs, I might not be doing as well as I am.

Peace out, as shewolff always says.

 

[dionysus]

Since I know where you live (creepy...I mean, city and all, beng friends offline) my suggestion since I know it's an available option, is switch to prepaids for say.....6 months. Because you wont be able to willy-nilly use ewallets or bank cards, but physically go out and pick up a card, meaning...no impulse deppos. And those cards come in max values, so you can't overspend either...once it's gone, it's gone.

I know how much that big WD meant to you and you probably put more back in than you'd like. Enjoy some finer things like vacations, meals and peace of mind....and keep to light recreational gaming...and enjoy your summer

 

[Jasminebed]

Well, I'm not blaming the casino, but a run of bad luck has plagued me at Videoslots, some of it down to the games I choose to play.

The comp system is good, and I enjoy the selection. When I have cashed out, most of them have been prompt. I encountered an inability to withdraw pending some documentation, which is not the place I blew back 5K. At least there I made the withdrawal, at VS I couldn't even initiate the withdrawal, although one ended up being made finally.

While I appreciate the suggestion Dion, prepaid cards force me into a bank withdrawal, something I don't want to do for say $250 and a $15 charge. Plus $6 more to deposit $100 than I currently pay.

My most recent withdrawal from VS was also hit with a $15 fee, probably from an intermediate bank before my bank took their $15.

I still need to go out and load my prepaid, and several casinos can and do pay back to it. Which I can withdraw in cash for no fee at Moneymart, or spend without fees at wonderful places like The Beer Store or Air Transat.

I want to thank Pontus at VS for spending some time discussing RG options with me today, and I'll have an email answers to some of the questions he could not answer with 100% certainty.

I took the step of setting a deposit limit. It's actually too bad that you have to choose daily/weekly/monthly, and not a combination of the above.

I might be comfortable with $50 a day say, but no more than $200 a week, meaning I have 3 days without deposits if I lose 4 days in a row. But if I have $200 a week, I could lose it in a day and be 6 days without playing.

By the time fall comes and renos are done, I'll be back to day to day and month to month budgeting, and some of my "issues" will resolve themselves.

I just don't want to lose another 10K in the process.

And continuing gambling at the rate I have been can almost guarantee that.

I'm smarter than that I hope. At least most days.

Today at least.

I figured in January when I won, I was kinda comfortable with spending 10% back gambling, I know it's an outrageous sum, but I was kinda figuring it should take a year or more, not 5 months. There was about $1200 in a few hours landbased back in March as part of that sum.

I've always tried to be honest here, and I know there are people here saying "if I won that". I know, because I've been one many times. Haven't totally gone off the rails, but it's time to pull back before I do.

I'm sorry I can't remember the name, but we had a younger member here that won a big jackpot, 180K euros or such,but taxes took a lot. Sensible young man, he found after a few months the thrill was gone on 40 cent bets, had a hoot on a roadtrip to Vegas and the States with his girlfriend, got a car, lost quite a bit back, and just found 4 hours a day slotting was not as much fun as losing it at the B&M with his buddies and drinks.

Took me 40 plus years of gambling to be really really lucky. I'm not really expecting it again. Part of me spouting IS me figuring out what my payoff is.

All the time today with guests and chores, my time at CM and my ramble here has kept me from playing the remaining $36 in my VS account from the $50 deposit early today.

That $36 will still be there tomorrow.

Several years ago, I couldn't go to bed with a balance in a casino account.

We are all at risk merely by being gamblers.

I remember the film When a Man Loves a Woman, how she tipped from being a good drinker to an out of control one.

I would prefer not to have to embrace gambling sobriety, and sometimes a break is good.

I probably should have did this a month and 2K ago, but I've been reluctant to TAB right before my birthday.

 

[Jasminebed]

Since I know where you live (creepy...I mean, city and all, beng friends offline) my suggestion since I know it's an available option, is switch to prepaids for say.....6 months. Because you wont be able to willy-nilly use ewallets or bank cards, but physically go out and pick up a card, meaning...no impulse deppos. And those cards come in max values, so you can't overspend either...once it's gone, it's gone.

I know how much that big WD meant to you and you probably put more back in than you'd like. Enjoy some finer things like vacations, meals and peace of mind....and keep to light recreational gaming...and enjoy your summer

You are a terrible stalker. You have my home number, a room to stay in and I'd even buy veggie burgers for the 'que.

Might end up beachside this summer if I can, but the cats guarantee you won't have me as a houseguest. BTW, those fishbowl glasses you have are awesome. You got a Canada Day party going on?

 

[dionysus]

As the cats keep you from visiting, the dogs keep me from going anywhere greater than 12 hours.
But if you hit beachside, we can work something out...I've several ready solutions to that small problem.

I generally host the long weekends here but I have to move end of month, and scarily, dont have a new place yet to move TO. So planning that wekkend is too up in the air. It'll sort itself out though I'm sure.

 

[MrSilver]

awwww Good Luck with your Demons Miss Jasmine....i know some people will think you're crazy for playing all your winning back, or keep canceling your long withdrawal, But...i feel you.
Sadly, i've had trouble myself chasing Lost and keeping my Winning....actually won 50k ish 3x times in a Row really easy, But end up played it all over again and again the 3 times



anyways, just take a break Jasmine...and you'll see in few months how you feel about it.....Personally i've been injured, i'm stuck home Temporally, that's a good reason to take a break.......But unfortunately for me, just discovered you can Gamble as much online! :Angel:


However....i'm Happy with this injury, cause i've stumble on CM, then met new great friends in this Amazing website! Thanks Bryan

 

[Harry_BKK]

Good morning Jazzy

I can assure you that a gazillion gamblers have had the same experience, me included. I call it the "Big Winner Blues".

The main point is that the higher that magic win is the deeper you can/will fall!!!

A few things that go with it:

- chasing another big win, possibly even bigger than the previous one
- hardly ever think before pressing that "deposit" button
- bet much higher than your usual stakes
- winning a considerable amount but failing to withdraw and lose it all back
- strange thinking.... "hmm lost only XXX $ today, that wasn't so bad, will do better tomorrow" - whereas before the big win that would have meant 2-3 weeks no slotting

As you and others might have read, i am chasing a Wild Line on DOA on high bets, best would be 18$ it only happens after i had a big win (3K+). In the past 18 months i lost countless times up to 5K within a few hours chasing that elusive WL on high stakes.

Previous to DOA, it was a 4- or 5- reeler WD on IR that i have been chasing, playing IR with 15-30$ bets for hours and of course mostly losing a similar amount.

Might not be 100% comparable with your situation, but in essence it is the same. Chasing a bigger win after the last one!!!!

The very funny part is that i hardly have that desire, and hence never done that, with my normal budget.

However, here is what i am doing with big wins:

- fixed percentage goes into my retirement fund (an account i have a 30 days notice to get access and if I do i lose the accumulated interest for that year)
- fixed percentage goes into my son's education fund
- fixed percentage goes into a bank account where i can't have access online
- the reminder is part of my next month's budget and there to be blown away

It was very good of you to write it down here as it was time to get your actions back in check before blowing too much of your fantastic win. Always good to have a wake-up call before the nightmare gets too scary

 

[sueyh]

My advice is to find another hobby that you like.

For me, I like having a discussion on a few issues, so I joined a soccer forum and also I'm quite active in a forum where men and women are discussing about "marriage."-yes, you can guess quite heated conversation going there sometimes, it is a really good entertainment.

 

[EbeeDog]

Hi Jasmine,

In another post somewhere, you said "I play to play- not play to win." (or something like that )

That simple statement smacked me like a two-by-four. I pondered it for about a week and ultimately, it changed the entire way I look at playing - online or off, and made me aware of my own addictive behavior.

Thank you.

 

[goatwack]

I've always said that winning is the worst thing that can happen to any gambler....all it leads to is chasing a similar or better hit. I know there are a select few that lose from the outset and never win, but they are rare.

No one can blame you for playing some money back, we've all done it. And nobody can realistically expect you to do 50cent spins after that win you had either.

From my very limited gambling experience, not having the means to gamble is obviously most important. The rest of your winnings need to be tied up long-term like with Harry (not literally!) or just spent on something tangible. Holding on to the bulk of that money is only going to end one way.

The fun element has been taken out of your gambling, it's time to control it by going back to the days prior to your big win ie smallrolling. You're basically just paying for a stimulated high in the form of slotting and chasing. I don't think that feeling ever leaves us but it can be brought down a notch, especially if the funds aren't available!

And as others have mentioned, there are other interests you could take up, you might surprise yourself. Two or three days of abstinence is surprisingly effective I found as you're thoughts are away from gambling. Even the thought of depositing can sometimes be a high in itself.

Best thing to do is replace one vice for another, albeit one just as enjoyable but not quite as damaging. Bear in mind this is just my experience and everyone has different responses.

Hope you can work it out Jasmine, I'm sure you'll get there

 

[Jasminebed]

Thanks guys.

EbeeDog, I'm really glad something I said resonated with you in a helpful way.

Sometimes I need to remind myself of things I already know.

It's a new day and a new month.

Traditionally, I've not played much first few weeks of June, saving my weekly deposit(s) up to have a go at some of the birthday bonuses I get offered.

Think this June would be a great time to resume that practice.

I do still get a buzz out of a big hit on a modest bet. Still enjoy the games.

My gambling is not a secret among my real life friends, but most are not "chronics" the way I am, and many of you.

I certainly am not looking for any sympathy, but thank you all for indulging me working things out for myself.

FAR too much of what I've lost has been to DOA, and I've NEVER had a wildline or five scatters. I'm not spunking it at $18 a pop either, but even 90 cents can ruin you pretty quickly.

Absolutely cannot bring myself to play it at 9 cents, couldn't before the big win after the first couple of years of trying. Still have a go at 36 cents from time to time.

11 days travelling will definitely give me something to do instead of slotting.

I'll make a public promise, to myself and to all of you here at CM.

No more putting money on my card to play between now and June 18th.

I have $50 in my eco account, and a couple of bucks in my account at VS, and some cashback to look forward to on Friday.

There will be a little prize from 32Red's Slotmeister.

If I lose those sums without cashing out, that's it for a bit. That gives me some incentive to make a smaller withdrawal in order to fund some future play.

I'll just pretend I have no money left, or otherwise it will soon indeed be the case.

I sure don't want to be humming "Big Loser Blues" instead of playing blues harp to "Big Winner Blues".

 

[EbeeDog]

I've always said that winning is the worst thing that can happen to any gambler....all it leads to is chasing a similar or better hit.

First time I ever played BJ was in Atlantic City. I turned 40 bucks into 500 and thought I found a new way to make a living. You can guess how that went. :/

About 20 years later I had my son with me in Windsor. I staked him but he lost maybe 12 hands in a row at a 10.00 table. At the time he was making 10.00 an hour as an electrician's apprentice and saw it as 12 hours of work wasted. He said F this and went to go chase girls at the local bars downtown.

He has never gambled in anyway, shape or form since.

 

[Steviedoo]

Thank you for your honesty...and this post...I work in an industry where there is a lot of down time between gigs....and most of the time I am left to my own devices here at home....in the summer it's better cuz of the weather...the winter months are brutal...so winter is the time I do most of my gambling...and I am kind of happy that summer is here now....I can give the gambling a rest.

I have always loved gambling....I started gambling online for a project I was working on... I needed to do research....get into the mindset ....and it didn't really take me long to discover the highs the lows...and everything else in between...the first time I won online...I won 6k ....and proceeded to win a cumalative 20k after that...this was within the first few weeks of gambling....and like everyone says...worst thing that could happen ...to win that much...especially for a beginner...so I was chasing that big win and fell back to reality pretty hard pretty quickly....then I read one of your posts this fall.....and took your advice...cash out smaller amounts...not waiting for the big cash outs...and this helped....but I'm not gonna lie I miss the high of those big cash outs and ....I sometimes fall back but I come to the forum and I see a post like this and it pulls me back to reality....so thank you.

Have a great holiday...