Hilarious Medical Terms

[BingoT]

Hilarious Medical Terms

Artery -- The study of paintings
Bacteria -- Back door of cafeteria
Bowel -- A letter like A.E.I.O.U
Caesarean section -- District in Rome
Cat scan -- Searching for kitty
Cauterize -- Made eye contact with her
Colic -- Sheep dog
Coma -- A punctuation mark
D&C -- Where Washington is
Diarrhea -- Journal of daily events
Dilate -- To live long
Enema -- Not a friend
Fester -- Quicker
Fibula -- A small lie
G.I. Series -- Soldiers' ball game
Hangnail -- Coathook
Impotent -- Distinguished, well known
Labor pain -- Got hurt at work
Medical staff -- Doctor's cane
Morbid -- Higher offer
Nitrate -- Cheaper than day rate
Outpatient -- Person who had fainted
Pelvis -- Cousin of Elvis
Post operative -- Letter carrier
Protein -- Favoring young people
Rectum -- It almost killed him
Recovery room -- Place to do upholstery
Secretion -- Hiding anything
Seizure -- Roman emperor
Serology -- Study of knighthood
Tablet -- Small table
Terminal illness -- Sickness at airport
Tibia -- Country in North Africa
Tumor -- An extra pair
Urine -- Opposite of you're out
Varicose -- Located nearby

 

[BingoT]

Ten Hilarious and Funny Newspaper Mistakes to Do With Medical Terms

Ten Hilarious and Funny Newspaper Mistakes to Do With Medical Terms

1. The Sunday Times explanation for the extinction of the dinosaurs :- The extinction may well have occurred when a steroid hit the Earth.
2. Another newspaper misprint :- The Welsh international had to withdraw when the cut turned sceptic.
3. From a Sunday newspaper :- The surgeon said he'd removed my momentum - the funny apron of fat that covers the intestines. [The omentum is the medical name for the sheet of fat that covers abdominal organs.]
4. From an article on stomach trouble :- Doctors are beginning to accept that stomach ulcers are infectious. They are caused by a bug called Helicopter. [Real name Helicobacter pylori.]
5. The Worksop Bugle recently carried a news report about a chap who'd happily "recovered from a tuna of the kidney". [Salad days ahead?]
6. An excerpt from 'Pulse' magazine :- If we are over-diagnosing asthma, then we must be under-diagnosing the other causes of nocturnal cough, such as post-natal drip. [Slip of the 's', post-nasal drip.]
7. From a national newspaper :- Cutting down on fats reduces the risk of heart disease. Try to choose unsaturated fats, which are found in red meat, milk, cheese, coconut oil, palm oil and butter ........ [Most of those contain SATURATED fats which would CAUSE a heart attack.]
8. A transplant surgeon has called for a ban on "kidneys-for-ale" operations.
9. From the South Wales Evening Post :- Cash plea to aid dyslexic cildren.
10. An interesting health tip from Q magazine :- In America you can buy melatonin as a vitamin supplement. It is a hormone that your penile gland secretes when it gets dark. [Actually, melatonin is produced by the pineal gland.