CUSTOMER SERVICE With A Smile !!!

[RobWin]

CUSTOMER SERVICE CALL

This has got to be one of the funniest things I've heard of in a Long time. I think this guy should have been promoted, not fired. This is a True phone call from the Word Perfect Help line which was transcribed from a Recording monitoring the customer care department. Needless to say the Help Desk employee was fired; however, he/she is currently suing the WordPerfect organization for "Termination without Cause." This is actual Dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee. Now I know why they record these conversations!

"Ridge Hall computer assistance; may I help you?"

"Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."

"What sort of trouble?"

"Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away."

"Went away?"

"They disappeared."

"Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?"

"Nothing."

"Nothing?"

"It's blank, it won't accept anything when I type."

"Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?"

"How do I tell?"

"Can you see the C: prompt on the screen?"

"What's a sea-prompt?"

"Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?"

"There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I type."

"Does your monitor have a power indicator?"

"What's a monitor?"

"It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on?"

"I don't know."

"Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that?"

"Yes, I think so."

"Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall."

"Yes, it is."

"When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one?"

"No."

"Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable."

"Okay, here it is."

"Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer."

"I can't reach."

"Uh huh. Well , can you see if it is?"

"No."

"Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?"

"Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle -- it's because it's dark."

"Dark?"

"Yes, the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window."

"Well, turn on the office light then."

"I can't."

"No? Why not?"

"Because there's a power failure."

"A power... A power failure? Aha, Okay, we've got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in?"

"Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."

"Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from."

"Really? Is it that bad?"

"Yes, I'm afraid it is."

"Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?"



"Tell them you're too fucking stupid to own a computer."

:notworthy:notworthy

 

[just play]

 

[winbig]

True or not, you don't know how many times I've wanted to say something similar to people when I was working the help desk...

I can't count the number of times I had to put people on hold so I wouldn't break down laughing at something they said or were trying to do...lol

Here's some good ones:

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[winbig]

The flipside - Stupid technical support personnel:

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...I think they're now working for most RTG casinos as CSR's

 

[lojo]

My first actual laugh out loud today. thx

 

[bb28]

It can go either way...stupid customers or stupid customer service.

I'll share one of my stories. My co-worker/friend and I both worked in the same office doing CS for a seller of woodworking supplies. There were many times when there were questions asked that were beyond our technical knowledge so it wasn't unusual for us to have to take a message for a callback but the standard stuff, well we could handle it or so we thought. I was going about my job and didn't really notice at first my friends irritation with the customer until she was probably 10-15 minutes into the call but I knew her well enough to sense that this was about to get interesting. I could tell that her frustration level was rising the longer the call went on and she was making facial expressions that let the rest of us know that whoever she was conversing with was really trying her patience. I don't remember the exact details of of the problem but it was about a sawblade. Well my friend was doing her best to help him solve the problem, but the longer the call went on, the more her frustration was growing. After 30 minutes, I heard her say to him. Could you please hold for a few moments sir. She proceeded to hit the hold button and then starting beating her head on the desk. We all were like...what is going on, Angala.
She said, this one you are not going to frickin believe! We all were like what.......what is it? Come on, spit it out girl......surely it's not that bad. She said it is....it really is.
Finally....she said, I just found this out....wtf can you belive this guy is blind??? We are talking about him sawing wood here with a saw blade. GEEZ! A blind guy and a saw!!! His daughter bought it for him to give him something to do.

Well we hee hawed for a good 10 minutes and and finally she joined in with the rest of us. She made us leave the office so she could finish the call without trying to muffle us laughing.

 

[babs7262]

OMG, I am dying here from laughing!!! I totally believe this and Ill tell you why

I worked in customer service for a cable company for 3 years and one person will stick in my mind for the rest of my life. This person was taping a show from his VCR (it was late 80's) and called me and asked :

"Am I allowed to talk while taping?"

 

[Matthew23]

hahahaha That's too funny, and i'm not even stoned

I would hate that job, it must be very stressful.

My old boss used to ask me such strange questions such as "How do I upload a google to msn?" It used to drive me mad. The idea of having a job like that full-time would be just tooooooo much...

 

[winbig]

Can you email me the Internet?

 

[RobWin]

Can you email me the Internet?

Are you quoting my dad there Win ...I swear when I try to talk him thru something about a download or installing something on his computer over the phone I'm almost ready to pull my hair out because I will be telling him something and ask if he sees that after I've already told him where it is and ten minutes later he will say...oh yea I see it now...LOL

 

[Matthew23]

"hm. I've lost a machine.. literally _lost_. it responds to ping, it works completely, I just can't figure out where in my apartment it is."

 

[Matthew23]

<i8b4uUnderground> d-_-b
<BonyNoMore> how u make that inverted b?
<BonyNoMore> wait
<BonyNoMore> never mind



<mage> what should I give sister for unzipping?
<Kevyn> Um. Ten bucks?
<mage> no I mean like, WinZip?


<NES> lol
<NES> I download something from Napster
<NES> And the same guy I downloaded it from starts downloading it from me when I'm done
<NES> I message him and say "What are you doing? I just got that from you"
<NES> "getting my song back fu**er"


<JonTG> Man, my penis is so big if I laid it out on a keyboard it'd go all the way from A to Z
<JonTG> wait, shit

 

[BingoT]

I found this and I think it's a good one to share.


Talk with Real customer service people.
I know we hate them talking machines.Least you can talk to Real People.

companies with instructions to get to a human using their customer service numbers.

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[happygobrokey]

quality link, t. i've heard of that site too, and the other day was trying to remember what it was called.

typically i just dial "0" repeatedly, to trick it into thinking i have a rotary-dial, or that i'm a retard with a tic.