weesie
Ueber Meister
- Joined
- Aug 26, 2010
- Location
- Old bag lady with a laptop
Love Letter
--------------
Hey Sexy!
Shut the door, drop your pants,
climb on top of me and satisfy
your needs.
Love Always,
Your Toilet
--------------------------------
Contest Winners
-------------------------
A woman has a dog who snores in his sleep. She goes to the vet to see if he can help. The vet tells the woman to tie a ribbon around the dog's testicles and he will stop snoring.
A few hours after going to bed the dog is snoring as usual.
Finally she goes to the closet and grabs a piece of ribbon, ties it around the dog's testicles, and sure enough the dog stops snoring. The woman is amazed.
Later that night, her husband returns home drunk from being out with his buddies. He climbs into bed, falls asleep, and begins snoring very loudly.
The woman thinks maybe the ribbon will work on him. She goes to the closet again, grabs a piece of ribbon, and ties it around her husbands testicles.
Amazingly it also works on him. The woman sleeps soundly.
The next morning the husband wakes up very hung over. He stumbles into the bathroom to urinate.
As he is standing in front of the toilet, he looks in the mirror and sees a blue ribbon attached to his scrotum. He is very confused.
He walks back into the bedroom and sees a red ribbon attached to his dog's scrotum.
He looks at the dog and says, "Boy, I don't remember what the hell happened last night, but wherever you and I were, we got first and second place."
--------------------------------------------
Washingtons' Cherry Tree
----------------------------------
Teacher: " George Washington not only chopped down his father's Cherry tree, but also admitted doing it.
Now do you know why his father didn't punish him?"
One Student: " Because George still had the axe in is hand."
-------------------------------------------
Free Lunch?
-----------------
A blonde goes into a coffee shop and notices there's
a "peel and win" sticker on her coffee cup.
So she peels it off and starts screaming, "I've won a motorhome!
I've won a motorhome!"
The waitress says, "That's impossible.
The biggest prize is a free Lunch.?"
But the blonde keeps on screaming,
"I've won a motorhome! I've won a motorhome!"
Finally, the manager comes over and says,
"Ma'am, I'm sorry, but you're mistaken.
You couldn't have possibly won a motorhome
because we didn't have that as a prize.
The blonde says, "No, it's not a mistake.
I've won a motorhome!"
And she hands the ticket to the
manager and HE reads...
"W I N A B A G E L"
--------------
Hey Sexy!
Shut the door, drop your pants,
climb on top of me and satisfy
your needs.
Love Always,
Your Toilet
--------------------------------
Contest Winners
-------------------------
A woman has a dog who snores in his sleep. She goes to the vet to see if he can help. The vet tells the woman to tie a ribbon around the dog's testicles and he will stop snoring.
A few hours after going to bed the dog is snoring as usual.
Finally she goes to the closet and grabs a piece of ribbon, ties it around the dog's testicles, and sure enough the dog stops snoring. The woman is amazed.
Later that night, her husband returns home drunk from being out with his buddies. He climbs into bed, falls asleep, and begins snoring very loudly.
The woman thinks maybe the ribbon will work on him. She goes to the closet again, grabs a piece of ribbon, and ties it around her husbands testicles.
Amazingly it also works on him. The woman sleeps soundly.
The next morning the husband wakes up very hung over. He stumbles into the bathroom to urinate.
As he is standing in front of the toilet, he looks in the mirror and sees a blue ribbon attached to his scrotum. He is very confused.
He walks back into the bedroom and sees a red ribbon attached to his dog's scrotum.
He looks at the dog and says, "Boy, I don't remember what the hell happened last night, but wherever you and I were, we got first and second place."
--------------------------------------------
Washingtons' Cherry Tree
----------------------------------
Teacher: " George Washington not only chopped down his father's Cherry tree, but also admitted doing it.
Now do you know why his father didn't punish him?"
One Student: " Because George still had the axe in is hand."
-------------------------------------------
Free Lunch?
-----------------
A blonde goes into a coffee shop and notices there's
a "peel and win" sticker on her coffee cup.
So she peels it off and starts screaming, "I've won a motorhome!
I've won a motorhome!"
The waitress says, "That's impossible.
The biggest prize is a free Lunch.?"
But the blonde keeps on screaming,
"I've won a motorhome! I've won a motorhome!"
Finally, the manager comes over and says,
"Ma'am, I'm sorry, but you're mistaken.
You couldn't have possibly won a motorhome
because we didn't have that as a prize.
The blonde says, "No, it's not a mistake.
I've won a motorhome!"
And she hands the ticket to the
manager and HE reads...
"W I N A B A G E L"
