Your favorite Chuck Norris "quote"

[Fjellsame]

When the boggieman goes to sleep, he always checks his closet for Chuck Norris!

 

[rainmaker]

.

When Chuck Norris was born he drove his mom home from the hospital.

 

[coxwel]

Classic

"Chuck Norris doesn´t eat honey, he chews bees"

 

[BETAT]

Chuck Norris uses a stunt double in his movies. For the crying scenes.

 

[michielm1]

chuck norris' tears can cure cancer... too bad he never cries

 

[BETAT]

Chuck Norris eats his meat so rare he has to eat unicorns.

 

[dunover]

1. Chucky: Hi, I'm Chucky. Wanna play?

Lady in Elevator: Ugly Doll.
Chucky: Fuck you.

2. Chucky: We're friends 'til the end, remember?
Andy: This is the end, friend.

Chucky: Good night, a-hole.

3. Karen Barclay: I said talk to me, damn it. Or else I'll throw you in the fire.
[Chucky comes alive]
Chucky: You stupid b***h! You filthy promiscuous person! I'll teach you to fuck with me!

Sorry, wrong chuck!

 

[coxwel]

When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.

 

[Swede]

If Chuck Norris had five dollars and you had five dollars, Chuck Norris would still have more money than you.

 

[Captain Chaos]

Chuck Norris is immortal because death fears him.

 

[Matti]

Once a cop pulled over Chuck Norris, Chuck let him off with a warning.

 

[BETAT]

Once a cop pulled over Chuck Norris, Chuck let him off with a warning.

 

[bigwinpictures]

Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.

 

[suzecat]

You guys talking about the karate dude who does the Total Gym TV ads with Christie Brinkley? Didn't ever think he was such a bad ass ..... maybe that's the point???

 

[chayton]

Chuck Norris has a grizzly bear rug in his house. The bear isn't dead, it's just afraid to move.