Question Ethical question

[Adriana B]

So .... my son who is 26 years old has this $35 prepaid card that is about to expire. So, I kept bugging him for the last couple of weeks to use it. Anyway, he said it doesn't work. Well, it does. So, I told him that I would call and if I could get it to work it would be mine. Well, guess what. It worked on Betat. So, do I give him the money back or do I just say he was too lazy too bother. Let's not forget that I cannot have $5 in my pocket without it going to gambling. Not proud -- but that is what it is. Should I give him something? It would have expired end of May and has been sitting in his room since Christmas time. I am a loser on these gambling sites but I have already made the deposit. Yeah -- I know -- Mom of the year.

 

[PaaskeDenmark]

So .... my son who is 26 years old has this $35 prepaid card that is about to expire. So, I kept bugging him for the last couple of weeks to use it. Anyway, he said it doesn't work. Well, it does. So, I told him that I would call and if I could get it to work it would be mine. Well, guess what. It worked on Betat. So, do I give him the money back or do I just say he was too lazy too bother. Let's not forget that I cannot have $5 in my pocket without it going to gambling. Not proud -- but that is what it is. Should I give him something? It would have expired end of May and has been sitting in his room since Christmas time. I am a loser on these gambling sites but I have already made the deposit. Yeah -- I know -- Mom of the year.

Give him $35 simples

You remind me about a member we had I think last year or 2 years ago. She seemed very complaining about losing a lot etc. I think it is maybe time to have a think about your gambling Barbara. I am only thing for your best here.

 

[secret2]

So, Barbara...Hi, by the way. :

If you won using his card, would you admit it to him and share the winnings? OR would you not?

 

[rockycatt]

I think the question out lines the answer , its your son he doesn't need to stay up on your gambling urges I think you need to re think this whole gambling thing he is your son

 

[Gaz237]

WOW

WOW. Have I logged into the Jeremy Kyle website by mistake???.

 

[AintWon1967]

I don't believe funds on any prepaid cards or gift cards expire (at least in Canada)

The card may expire (if it has a date) and you may need to request a new card (and there may be a small fee associated with that) but the funds on the card don't disappear.

I think you should give him his money back.

Connie

 

[PaaskeDenmark]

WOW. Have I logged into the Jeremy Kyle website by mistake???.

No you are at Casinomeister which is about Casinos and gambling. Hence the discussion in this thread Jeremy Kyle is a great lad by the way wish he would join Casinomeister or maybe he is already a member.... I seem to remember that he likes a big bet. PS this post is not to disrespect the OP. I have already earlier spoken to her in private PM

 

[psychogene]

So .... my son who is 26 years old has this $35 prepaid card that is about to expire. So, I kept bugging him for the last couple of weeks to use it. Anyway, he said it doesn't work. Well, it does. So, I told him that I would call and if I could get it to work it would be mine. Well, guess what. It worked on Betat. So, do I give him the money back or do I just say he was too lazy too bother. Let's not forget that I cannot have $5 in my pocket without it going to gambling. Not proud -- but that is what it is. Should I give him something? It would have expired end of May and has been sitting in his room since Christmas time. I am a loser on these gambling sites but I have already made the deposit. Yeah -- I know -- Mom of the year.

Does he know that you have used it? If he is aware that you have used it and you have his permission than its not a big deal as its only $35 and you have his approval - no need to pay back unless you want to in my opinion.

If he does not know that you have used it or does not know that is it used for gambling best to pay him back and let him know you have used it as its already been used now - win or lose with that deposit I would not feel comfortable gambling with someone else's money with or without their permission because its a sign of compulsive/out of control gambling.

Sounds to me that you are feeling somewhat guilty and any feeling of guilt (even the slightest) best to just pay back at some point. I am far from a saint when it comes to gambling but one thing I will do is only gamble with disposable money (money that if I lose I might feel like crap but it wont make me borrow) that is mine.

 

[randomiam]

split

half the winning or $15 if you lose

 

[Zabier]

It's a tough one. Personally, I think he needs to be taught the lesson to not look a spare $35 in the mouth. So if you were to spend it on something for the family then you could say "well, you didn't want it apparently!". He won't be so slack when it comes to money next time.

However, it seems like you are perhaps looking for an excuse to spend it on gambling and I'm not sure that's the right option. It also seems like you've already made your mind up on what you're going to do because you've already deposited the money.

 

[Adriana B]

He told me the voucher was mine. I would never tell him what I used it for. I did offer him $20 for it but he didn't want it. Doesn't value money as much as we gamblers do. In reality it would have ended up in the garbage so today I'm thinking it wasn't such a crappy thing. And, I still haven't lost it all -- although it's a matter of time! Thanks for everyone's input.
I do have another question for this forum. No one in my family knows about my gambling. Do any of you keep it secret as well?

 

[psychogene]

I guess if it wasn't going to be used and thrown away you can treat it like a voucher and do as you please.

Only my housemate knows I gamble I don't talk to my family about my personal stuff but if they ever asked me I would not lie to them. If I was completely out of control and gambling was affecting my finances to the extremes and I had to borrow money I would open up but I have some control of my gambling. I am quite the low roller but when you make lots of small deposits in a row day after day it really does add up.

I'll only open up once I believe I have crossed a point where I can not return by my own will but until then - its my own guilty pleasure and one of the things I enjoy doing in my spare time in isolation.

 

[Adriana B]

Exactly. I do feel I have it somewhat under control as I try to view it as entertainment costs and it is not affecting finances at all. Having said that, my husband doesn't have a clue or he would lose it. I do save the family a lot of money in other ways to compensate.

I did end up giving him the $20. The guilt was really getting to me.

 

[asm]

He told me the voucher was mine. I would never tell him what I used it for. I did offer him $20 for it but he didn't want it. Doesn't value money as much as we gamblers do. In reality it would have ended up in the garbage so today I'm thinking it wasn't such a crappy thing. And, I still haven't lost it all -- although it's a matter of time! Thanks for everyone's input.
I do have another question for this forum. No one in my family knows about my gambling. Do any of you keep it secret as well?

I keep it a secret for some. Everyone knows about my sports betting habits and such. I keep it secret from my girlfriend. Kind of feel bad about it at times but I don't do it because I feel it's a problem. She's extremely tight with money and I know she wouldn't appreciate this little habit. Then again I paid €7k of student loans with my winnings so I guess there should be no complains (I am also pretty confident I am one of the select few that actually have a winning record in gambling, believe it or not).

I don't mean to be judgmental but I think you should reassess your habits. No offense. It's not that I am trying to judge you for this voucher thing. I do think however, if you spend a lot of time thinking what others feel about your habit and a $35 voucher is something you put a lot of time and attention in, you should consider is this worth the worry? Again, not trying to bring you down but instead of doing all of this in "secret", think of what you could do with that time and money. I don't think $20 is much, but from the sound of it you're making it more than it's worth.

I'm not the one to throw stones and I can't say I am in full control of everything, but...