$20 to $12,000... and back :(

[neon claws]

I'd been doing pretty large average bets the last few months, $10-$15. So decided last night to just put $20 in and do a more sensible $3 bet.
Loaded iSoftbet The Ruby megaways (I know, we don't have much choice of games in this country) and pretty much instantly got a ~900x hit. Was a bit peeved since I'd been doing big bets for so long and the instant I did a smaller one it hits so I started doing $225 feature buys.
And they just kept winning.
For about two hours 2/3 were paying more than the buy in, some 10x the buy in pretty often.
Then midnight came around and I was just shy of $12,000, I figured I'd get to 12k or knock it back down to 11 trying and then go to bed.
Obviously when I got to 11k I thought "that's not a very even number, I'll go to 10k" - then at 10k the feature buys paid 0.00 and I thought "I don't want to end on a dead feature" and so on...

From that point on until 7am in the morning 9/10 feature buys paid less than the buy in, often by a lot, think half a dozen paid 0.00, even had a six scatter trigger (even fives are super rare) which didn't cover the bet cost.. just an absolute massacre, all the way down to $0.00 just as the kids were waking up.

Gotta tell yourself you only put in $20.
But also, I could've bought a car.

 

[TamingTheBeast]

didn't you post a similar kind of story in July? Might have to rethink your gambling.

also in what way it is sensible to bet 3$ on a 20$ depo.

Anyways I feel empathy for you. At the end of the day you lost 20$.

 

[syntynyt]

Then midnight came around and I was just shy of $12,000, I figured I'd get to 12k or knock it back down to 11 trying and then go to bed.
Obviously when I got to 11k I thought "that's not a very even number, I'll go to 10k" - then at 10k the feature buys paid 0.00 and I thought "I don't want to end on a dead feature" and so on...

This illness maiming the subconscious is manifesting exactly the same to me. Setting the perfect amount to call it a day and after rarely succeeding to touch or pass that amount the feeling of invincibility seeing all that balance gives such a false sense of confort that makes you go higher and higher delving in 'jumping off the plane" levels of dopamine. Its when an internet outage would be a bless and the only thing likely to save the balance for clearer thoughts later on. You go in with the thought to win as much as couple salaries, then you have enough for a car but.... there comes the thought for a house and so on which makes the experience futile and miserable after all is wraped and you remain with.. what could have been thoughts, and calculations. Now is highly unlikely that anything under that balance will be satisfying let alone feeling is worth withdrawing. From here my friend win or lose you will play with disgust splattered on your face. There is no way out this is part of us till the end of days hopefully the end not caused by it. You sound like ThereisnoDinBonanza fella. All you can do is to apply deposit limits, theres no point to self exclude only to cave in to the cravings and start opening more accounts.

 

[gonzo fonso]

i think its telling you to give up,if you cannot cashout a big amount like that then there is no hope

 

[gormack82]

from low to high to nothing, the gambler's journey..