Dog got taken out after dinner, not by me. Get told he' might have eaten a bit of "something white that was wrapped inside a leaf, the leaf wrapped up with a grass tied into a ribbon around the top of it, the, with the something white inside having a pasty look to it, a bit like plaster" .
I get on my knees to look at his face, and he burps into my face just as gasp for breath from the excessive abuse my body took to get down to that level. Sucked in every single bit of that. Nice one.
Notice something on head, looks like he's been rollin around and got a bit wet. Spend next 15 minutes googlin words like park white poison dog leaf along eith the local town. See a lot of nice white flowers.
Realise I was outside for 1 min when theh came back, not smoking anything illegal in some countries. He would have had a chance to get to the bin. We had a roast, there was tin foil thet cointined gravy mixed with chicken grease which I'd just thrown at the top of the bin before i went outside.
So we spend 30 minutes trying to work out the time frames, if its the white thing he ate at the park, or if he drunk the qaurter pint of greasy gravy. There's just no evidence hpit was the gravy. by this time the bin had been used several times.
So he goes outside and takes a nasty crap., comes back in and I'm still tryin to work it out, thinkin damn he's a dirty lil shit, that whatever he got on his head while probably rolling at the park, hadn't dried out yet .
Start to work out that he must have got the oil/gravy. the time that he first burped, the didnt want his dinner, didn't match with the park white leaf bomb being the culprit. But it did match with the time, the very small window, that he had an opportunity to raid the bin. 30 minutes later we're ceartin by now he must have eaten the gravy chicken oil, and then notice something, his ear is sticky. Closer inspection and it stinks of chicken. His hair still hasn't dried either. Because it's greasy as f**k, that's why.
Now feeling like a bit of a dumbass. Realising that chicken oil mixed with chicken gravy was all over the back of his fkng head the entire time I was trying to work out if he'd ate the bloody stuff.
Nearly got away with a decent sized slice of cake an hour ago too, so it seems he's not doin too bad now. The little c...