Dear Readers,

Well the joke's on me. Last week I was beginning to whine about the "dog days of August" and since then it's been raining. Boo hoo.

Anyway, a few good stories in this issue. You will be flabbergasted by the fact that several Unified Gaming casinos have pirated the material from the Internet Gaming Commission's website, passing it off as their own. Giving themselves their own IGC stamp of approval. Also my last installment about my exploits in Monte Carlo with the "Major Millions" gang. Read on...

Busily yours,

Bryan

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My Escapades on the French Riviera, the conclusion the casinos of Monte Carlo - real men don't play video poker - we reluctantly go home

For those of you who still don't know, let me briefly clue you in: a player at Captain Cooks Casino won nearly $1.6 million dollars at the progressive "Major Millions" a couple of months ago, and he was invited to Monte Carlo to celebrate his winnings with the folks from Captain Cooks, Microgaming, Jackpot Madness, and a few select individuals in the cyber world of online casinos. It was to say the least, one of the most refreshing experiences I've recently had.

Last week, I left off with Tony's explanation of what exactly happened when he won the jackpot. And this was Saturday, our first full day together. That evening, we were scheduled to eat dinner and then mosey over to some of the local casinos.

Dinner was scheduled for eight o'clock on the upper terrace of the hotel. There was a wedding reception going on as well, and you would not believe the "gowns" that some of the women were wearing. It really made you wonder where these people came from, to have money like this. Some of them were from the states, I could recognize the twangy American English from a distance; imagine traveling to France from the States for someone's wedding! The bride looked a bit Arabic so I figured she was some rich Arab's daughter getting hitched to some young Harvard grad, or some Senator's son. I kept straining my neck to check them out; they were behind me since my seat faced the panoramic view of the bay of Monaco and all the big boats. I had to rely on Brian Cullingworth and his joyful wife Jo to fill me in on the gossipy details.

Like I mentioned before, food takes a long time to eat in France, and it took us even longer since we talked most of the time. And we talked a lot, much about the state of Got2bet, Julie and I spoke about our experiences with evil casinos and evil players, Brian and I talked about the industry and South Africa, the Wizard and I talked about our goofy experience with Casinobar, Ted and I talked about more gossipy stuff. If you think we were talking about you, you may be right.

Four hours later, and we were ready to hit the casinos. Walking up to the big "Monte Carlo Casino" was a bit intimidating. There were Rolls Royces, sporty Mercedes, Porches, and Ferraris parked outside. (But I spied one VW Golf.) Spectators lined the street across from the entrance, waiting to see if they might "see" someone. Armed with digital cameras, they looked like Paparazzi wannabes. And here we were, Roger Raatgever, his wife, my good friends from Captain Cooks Casino, the Cullingworths, Julie Sidwell and her husband, the Wizard and his wife, my wife, Ted Loh the loner, Tamar and Greyling our gracious hosts, and our guests of honor, Tony P. and his wife. We were all gathered on the steps, taking turns taking group photos as the crowded curb full of onlookers gawked at us from across the street.

Did I mention there was a dress code? Jacket and tie for the gents; the women just had to wear something nice. I don't like ties, being the California beach dude. Ties are not my bag, man. But I wore one, there is photographic proof. And after signing in, we were "allowed" to enter. It was like entering a morgue. There were groups of stiffs huddled around the roulette tables. All you could hear was murmuring of the players and the occasional call from the dealer. The decor was nice, if you like looking at the inside of museums. There was no life. All the bells and whistles on the Video Poker machines and Slots were turned off, and that really made a difference. Imagine walking into a casino in Vegas and there is no noise. It's unsettling.

We walked into an adjacent room where Roger attempted to open a table for us. But the pitboss (I guess that's what you would call them there) was French and arrogant and didn't seem too helpful. So we left. The minimum wager at the Blackjack tables was €100.

We meandered to a nearby casino where it wasn't so "stiff". We didn't have to sign in; just purchase your chips and play. Roger, Ted Loh, the Wizard, and Greyling, all sat down at a Blackjack table and began to play €25 minimum bet a hand. The dealer was stoic and seemed awfully young, he didn't waste a breath on small talk or "giving tips". He just dealt and collected the cards and chips.

But it was an entertaining game. Everyone was trying to get clues from the Wizard who was happily calculating what would happen next with the cards. Greyling, being the carefree bachelor, was throwing caution to the wind at the amazement of the others. Ted was being very shrewd.

I thought that this would be a good opportunity to show my wife how to play video poker. I purchased €20 worth of chips and found a nice friendly machine. Well, it wasn't too friendly since €2 was the minimum coin to play, and it dealt lousy hands, and then...no more €20.

"What happened?" asked my wife. "Well, we just made a donation to the casino," I smirked. This she didn't like; she didn't think that was funny. We went back to the blackjack table where everyone was finishing up. Everyone was ahead by several hundred € which didn't help my situation. "Why couldn't you just play Blackjack like a real man?" she was not happy. She still didn't think humor was appropriate. Lesson learned: real men don't play video poker.

Drinks were on Greyling. His wanton laugh in the face of doom earned him the biggest win of the evening. Most of us ordered Pina Coladas (warning: Europeans cannot make tropical drinks), which were adequate to quench our thirst, but that was about it. My wife calmed down when she realized I was still a "real man". We finished our drinks and went back to the hotel.

The last day was a day reserved to shop and do whatever one could do on the last day. While visiting Juan les Pins, Roger and Greyling dragged me out to a pier to ride "the Flying Fish"; a very large rubber raft that is towed by a high speed motorboat, and you have to hold on with your bare hands. I agreed, wondering if I would get wet; they were wearing their swimshorts, I was wearing my normal shorts from Target.

It was like riding a wild bull (even though I never rode one) and it would catch the wind and go into a vertical position. We all fell off at least twice to the amusement of the boat pilot and our wives. It was a real workout. I felt like I had done about 10 sets of 30lb. curls at the end of our ride. No one noticed my wet pants as I boarded the bus. Good thing the seats were made of leather (or of a leather-like substance).

That evening we all met for our last dinner. This was after a bit of commotion when Rowan Atkinson (Mr. Bean) was spotted in our hotel lobby by everyone except for Roger (who is an avid fan). He had been staying in our hotel for several days and had finally left the building for the airport. Poor Roger.

The last dinner (notice I didn't say supper) was located in another posh hotel operated by more snippy French people. And when we arrived, there were two tables instead of one long one. This was not a good situation for the MaÎtre d' who tried to explain to Tamar that's what was ordered, but she was very firm with "But it was not what we ordered, we need one table." She is a woman who knows what she wants and the MaÎtre d' understood this completely. After a brief discussion, we were led into the bar where drinks were "on the house" and the Wizard sat himself at the mini-grand piano and played the theme song from "Peanuts". I thought this only happened in movies.

Again the food, and this meal was by far the best. The waiters actually asked for my tasting and approval of the wine, and took my reaction earnestly. Each dish was announced as it was brought in, and the food was more than delightful, it was festive.

And it was equally festive being with the members of our crew; it really seemed like being with old friends. This is the strange results of cyber-life, being in contact with so many people, for so long, spending time together was quite refreshing.

As we departed that evening, saying our good-byes since several of us were flying out the following day, most of us came to realize that there are real people involved in this industry, not just a bunch of electrons flying around through telephone lines and cables. True, you sit in front of your computer screen and play games at whatever casino, or read obscure newsletters like this, or make cryptic postings in some gambler's forum, but what we all should realize is that there are real people out there involved in this industry, and we're not strangers.

If you were to meet me on the street, or a club for that matter, we would know each other. I would know you as my reader, a poster in my forum, a "pitch a bitcher", or merely as someone who has been emailing me off and on. You would know me because I am me. Thank you Microgaming, Jackpot Madness, Jumbojackpots, Captain Cooks Casino, and everyone else who were involved in bringing out "the human" in all of us.