Issue #252
weekly
Dear Reader,
I hope this newsletter finds you in a happy moment. If not, scroll down to the joke at the end and read that first. It will certainly cheer you up. Don't be sad.
Humorously yours,
Bryan
In this issue:
Can't read this newsletter in HTML? Click here (or copy and paste this link into your browser): http://www.casinomeister.com/newsletter.html#skip for the bitchin' online version.
How do I define spam? It's anything impersonal that I didn't ask for that wants me to take action on something I couldn't care less about.
My email address is exactly what it is - it's mine. You are addressing me - I am a person - I have a name. Don't use a robot or computer program to introduce yourself or your product to me. Emails that begin with "hello" get nailed by the delete button right off the bat. That's it. Sorry I don't want your crap. I don't want your ads. I don't want your drugs, your pre-approved loans, your pirated software, your 250% bonus. I want nothing from you. Don't waste my time. And I couldn't give a flying rat's ass about any "unsubscribe" button or link. Spam is spam.
This "unsubscribe" link seems to be the crux of the problem. There is a certain population of marketing people who feel that as long as a spam mail has this link, it can't be considered spam. Horse hockey! People subscribe to magazines, or to newsletters (like this one). It's called a subscription. No one (at least no one I know) subscribes to spam listings. The "subscribe" term is a misnomer, thus it should not be applied to spam mails. "Unsubcribing" is irrelevant. I don't want to hear it; speak to the hand.
Recently, there has been a spam problem at Fortune Lounge. There is a promoter/affiliate/webmaster/whatever who has his spam machine set on full blast. For the past month, players have been complaining about this here in our forum: http://www.casinomeister.com/forums/showthread.php?t=9590 and apparently nothing has been done. This guy (who shall go nameless for now, but most webmasters know him) has been given the freedom to continue spamming the damn entire world without consequence. What is the problem? Well Fortune Lounge kept insisting that the problem was being taken care of - but it wasn't. They also insisted that since there was a "unsubscribe" link (which for most people didn't work) it couldn't be considered spam. Sorry, if it walks like a duck, looks like a duck, and quacks like a duck. It's a duck. Don't hide behind definitions. Shut the spam machine off.
Ironically, Fortune Lounge wasn't getting some of the players' complaints because they were getting caught in FL's spam filter. And incidently, godaddy.com shut down FL's servers last summer because of spam complaints.
What really irks me, is that responsible webmasters who run sites like Gonegambling.com, Got2Bet.com, Reviewed-casinos.com, and yours truly pay for these a-hole spammer tactics. My newsletter is reaching less people because of this. Even though I use a third party for sending this out (topica.com), it gets blocked by many servers - including my own. That's right, I don't even receive my own newsletter.
I removed the Fortune Lounge casinos off of Casinomeister this week until I am assured that this spam activity will cease. I cannot promote a casino group that fails to take action against spam complaints. And when I mean action, I don't mean addressing the complaint; I mean doing something about it. Additionally, it's not fair to the other casinos listed at Casinomeister who keep a tight leash on their promoters and affiliates.
Of course, I'll be happy to bring Fortune Lounge back on board when they get it together, but as long as the right hand has no idea what the left hand is doing, they will have to wait.
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16. Visit your local butcher and pay $30 to sit in the walk- in freezer for a half an hour. Afterwards, burn two $50 dollar bills to warm up.
15. Soak your gloves and store them in the freezer after every use.
14. Fasten a small, wide rubber band around the top half of your head before you go to bed each night.
13. If you wear glasses, begin wearing them with glue smeared on the lenses.
12. Throw away a hundred dollar bill-now.
11. Find the nearest ice rink and walk across the ice 20 times in your ski boots carrying two pairs of skis, accessory bag and poles. Pretend you are looking for your car. Sporadically drop things.
10. Place a small but angular pebble in your shoes, line them with crushed ice, and then tighten a C-clamp around your toes.
9. Buy a new pair of gloves and immediately throw one away.
8. Secure one of your ankles to a bedpost and ask a friend to run into you at high speed.
7. Go to McDonald's and insist on paying $8.50 for a hamburger. Be sure you are in the longest line.
6. Clip a lift ticket to the zipper of your jacket and ride a motorcycle fast enough to make the ticket lacerate your face.
5. Drive slowly for five hours - anywhere - as long as it's in a snowstorm and you're following an 18-wheeler.
4. Fill a blender with ice, hit the pulse button and let the spray blast your face. Leave the ice on your face until it melts. Let it drip into your clothes.
3. Dress up in as many clothes as you can and then proceed to take them off because you have to go to the bathroom.
2. Slam your thumb in a car door. Don't go see a doctor.
1. Repeat all of the above every Saturday and Sunday until it's time for the real thing!
ha ha ha!
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Complaints? Kudos? Please let me know.
Peace
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Bryan Bailey Webmeister Casinomeister |  |