Dear Reader,


No newsletter yesterday! Why?

Well, I live in a land where holidays are taken seriously, and Monday was a holiday; thus I was behind a full day all week. Bummer.

Since it was a religious holiday (Pfingstmontag), work is forbidden, and so are loud noises such as lawn mowers and electric pruners (too bad screaming kids aren't included). But marching bands are okay. The local high school kids have a marching band (about eight players) and they march neighborhood to neighborhood playing the typical German oompah beer drinking music. In fact, Germans call this "Blasmusik" which literally translates to "Blow Music", and yes it blows!

Quietly yours,

Bryan

An explorer in the deepest Amazon suddenly finds himself surrounded by a bloodthirsty group of natives. Upon surveying his situation, he says quietly to himself, "I'm screwed." There is a ray of light from the sky and a voice booms out: "No you are NOT screwed. Pick up that stone in front of you and bash the head of the chief." So the explorer picks up the stone and proceedes to bash in the head of the chief. He is breathing heavily while standing above the lifeless body. Surrounding him are the 100 native warriors with a look of shock on their faces.

The voice booms out again: "Okay.......NOW you're screwed!"

CRIME DOESN'T PAY
Steve Adkins Thrown in the Slammer!

CINCINNATI - Samuel A. Ashley, also known as Steve Adkins, was sentenced to 135 months in federal prison for his part in the operation of the Emergency Food Center, a fraudulent charity in Cincinnati that solicited millions of dollars from local residents purportedly to feed the hungry.

Gregory G. Lockhart, United States Attorney for the Southern District of Ohio, in conjunction with Jim Casey, Assistant Special Agent in Charge, Federal Bureau of Investigation, Cincinnati Field Division; Cromwell A. Hardy, Special Agent in Charge, Internal Revenue Service Criminal Investigation; and Robin Dalgleish, Inspector in Charge, U.S. Postal Inspection Service announced the sentence handed down yesterday by U.S. District Court Judge Susan J. Dlott.

Last fall, Ashley pled guilty to two counts of mail fraud and one count of tax evasion for his part in this scheme to defraud. Funds were raised through the use of telemarketers, direct mail solicitation and individuals who solicited cash at shopping malls. Investigators learned that the majority of the funds collected were used by Ashley to support his gambling addiction and his lavish lifestyle. It was also learned during the investigation that Ashley used his alias of Adkins because he was a fugitive for charges that are pending in Dayton, Ohio.

"Individuals who use a charity to solicit funds for their own fraudulent purposes, do a disservice to all charities and the many fine men and women who donate their time to help the less fortunate in our community," Lockhart said.

Co-defendant Tina Swain was also convicted of mail fraud and tax evasion and has been sentenced to six months in federal prison.

Agents tracked Ashley to California where he was arrested after being on the run for approximately nine months.

Lockhart commended the investigative efforts of the F.B.I., the I.R.S. and the U.S. Postal Inspection Service. He also recognized the efforts of Assistant U.S. Attorney John DiPuccio and Special Assistant U.S. Attorney Gary Claytor who prosecuted the case.