This sick hobby (warning--quitting gambling rant)

[Addisyn]

Well said! I am on my last hurrah sort of speaking. Decided I would lose X amount of dollars and stop altogether. Well I have lost the X amount of dollars and I am still gambling. I am still having fun, but I know it is time for me to stop. In 2001, I stopped until now. The reason I stopped in 2001 I lost all my money. There simply wasn't anymore to play. I don't wish to repeat that this time around. So I will either win with this last deposit or lose. Then I will live vicariously through your screenshots. Good luck to you all!

I love the Winners screenshots .
I think they actually help me when I am on a break like I am now .
This whole thread has been an eye opener for myself and I am sure alot of others . I appreciate the fact that Meister left it here too .
When playing stops being fun then it is time to take a break or quit . Whatever will make the most positive change in your own life . Best of luck to everyone here .
__________________
silkprint

[frufrugirl]

What a great thread. Good luck Addison and Mr Van.
My computer tanked 2 weeks ago. Missed the forum terribly.
Went to the local Casino - 5 times. Wow. Last time I went I started talking to myself on the way home. Why was I going? Why wasnt I staying home and cleaning up, fixing things or what ever? I came to the conclusion that I dont like my home anymore. I didnt "feel" anything but trapped there. I have been separated for a good number of years and for various reasons couldnt file. I was afraid. I was starting to die inside. Even having friends over wasnt helping anymore.What an A Ha Moment!
So, the day after my talk with myself I called my ex, said I was filing for divorce and he was paying for it. I start proceedings next week. Oh. And IM feeling again.Scared, but not afraid. Excited? Yeah.. Its a good thing. No more casinos, except LasVegas to celebrate my divorce!
Bravo to all of you !( and I love my new computer!)

[amatrine]

WTG. Its hard to live with fear, but what a feeling to finaly over come it.
It lifts a huge weight off your shoulders

Ama

[babs7262]

Im so happy for you! IT is scary, I got divorced once upon a time (about 20 yrs ago) yes, it was scary but Im glad I did it. I moved out of state and years later met my now wonderful loving husband that Ive been with for almost 10 years!!

Start Fresh and be happy!!!! Im jealous of the celebrating in Vegas part lol, I love that place, Vegas has been very good to me. I wish I could travel that far, maybe someday they will find a cure for my illness and Ill be able to travel again. Atleast I have Atlantic City, Im leaving Wed for 3 days and can't wait!!!

[frufrugirl]

Thankyou, both of you! Weird to think that gambling was the only thing that was giving me a thrill..that I was seeking the bright lights and bling bling just to be able to "feel" something! (damn , the coffee really was good there though!) Id like to get a thrill from something else for once, nod nod, wink wink, say no more ,say no more! ,

[MrVan]

Thank you everyone for all the support over the past week. I haven't deposited since my first post in this thread, although I'm not sure yet if it's only because I am broke. But I have learned that I wasn't actually addicted to gambling itself, I was just unable to stop after I was down. The reason for this is because, as other people have mentioned, I won early. I played only online poker for 2 years before I even tried gambling, then tried video poker and hit a $200 royal flush, then tried slots and was up $1000 (my first post in the winner screenshot's thread actually). Whether or not my brain agreed, my body truly believed I could win by gambling, so I think I gambled to avoid worrying about my future. When I ended up only losing money, I just kept trying to win without thinking about it, which created a downward spiral.

Since I have stopped gambling I can finally remember how long a day really is when 2 or more hours of it aren't spent on the computer. It's fun having enough time to have to think of things to do instead of barely having time to talk to your friends/family. Also, since I stopped I decided that I am going to switch to a math major and move to a school in either Florida or California (any reccomendations?). Right now I'm leaning towards San Jose State Univesity. I could probably get into Berkeley, but I'd rather be in the top half of the class than the bottom. I feel like before this week I hadn't really thought about my life for over a year or two, I just went along with whatever I started and did nothing more. Now I feel great and actually want to succeed in something besides posting the best screenshot

And about brick and mortar casinos... I have only been to a b&m casino twice, and I enjoyed the atmosphere and had a good time, but I cannot see myself ever becoming addicted to b&m gambling because you are really there, in the flesh. You can see your body and you actually have to walk around. Online gambling removes your body and makes it very difficult to remember that you actually exist outside the computer. It hits you a lot harder and all at once when you lose online. Losing at the real casino is at least gradual and easier to cut off before it's too late, not to mention ATMs don't let you overdraw your bank account with a debit card like online wallets.

[frufrugirl]

Congrats on your decision to go back to school - Im headed back myself when my mess is taken care of, Im looking forward to starting a new career.
One thought - gambling isnt just putting money in to gamble. Its the whole experience. Getting the high from winning, then hoping you will win more by not withdrawing, losing, then trying to recoup- then when the stink of the loss is gone, thinking its ok to deposit one more time just for fun-then starting all over again. Its the whole experience - the feelings your body gets and its chemical reaction - the compulsion to do it again. Be careful!
I know I am addicted. When I said it to myself I felt better. Knowledge is power..keep using it ! At B and M's its easy to say, oh another 100 wont kill me....well..the next couple of days later that 100 that I could have used is glaringly important. Its importance gets muffled in the hubb bub of the noise and excitement in the casino.
I saw a television show a couple of months ago exposing the link between certain antidepression medications and compulsive behaviour. It featured b and m patrons who where addicted to slots and also on medication. One woman was being interviewed, she said she was so addicted she would be crying as she deposited money into the machine, knowing she was spending the last of her months salary...3 days into the month! I know that is extreme but it was important to me because I had felt that feeling of desperation way way back in the back of my mind when depositing....Hmmm really scary. Im glad Im on my way to financial freedom, you will be too! Anyway..I digress..good luck to you and keep on track..your train will come into the right station soon!

[Austin49]

Great post frufugirl! Describes my feelings to a tee. Thanks

[spearmaster]

MrVan -

If you are going to switch, and Berkeley is an option, I'd go there - you would have to work so hard to stay in the top half of the class that you wouldn't even have the time to think about playing online again

I was given that option too if I spent two years at Santa Cruz first - needless to say I chose USC instead (good move, bad move, take your pick). My sister went to Berkeley, and now she's a workaholic

[EasyRhino]

Originally Posted by MrVan

But I have learned that I wasn't actually addicted to gambling itself, I was just unable to stop after I was down.

hmm....

...Whether or not my brain agreed, my body truly believed I could win by gambling,

... You might actually be addicted to gambling.