This sick hobby (warning--quitting gambling rant)

[cheekymonkey]

Giving up gambling isn't easy MrVan.

I've been to GA, visited websites, given up my bank cards, have my salary paid to my partner - the whole shebang.

But it still hasn't stopped me. I always find a way.

YOU have to WANT to STOP.

Without YOUR willpower, you cannot do it.

Just remember that YOU and only YOU are your own destiny.

[Trezz]

Originally Posted by silcnlayc

Gambling is an addiction. I was 8 when I was first introduced to it by my father. I had a $2 winning ticket at the race track and thats all she wrote.

We both share an introduction to gambling at young ages. For me it was a cruise ship (the P&O Iberia) @ 5 and a couple of sly one arm bandit pulls (thanks to dad) scored me a jackpot (around 150 Pound in 1966).

I've gone ass up a couple of times in my life thanks to gambling & my own stupidity. In probably 25 of those years (legal age gambling) I've let close to a million dollars AUD slip thru my fingers; that's not including winnings.

But it's not the money that's the biggest loss, it's the friends, family and partners and most importantly one self that you end up disappointing and letting down @ the end of the day.

Fortunately over the last 2 years I've managed to get my gambling under control. These days I only use disposable income. What I make in my off line business I use for living, savings and general expenses. What I get from my casino portals I use for gambling or special treats.

I'm still not ahead, but I try not to chase my loses, I think that's the key, well for me it is anyway.

If my Neteller is bare then I don't gamble. I've not gambled since 25 Oct 2006.

Sometimes I think wtf but I then remember what it used to be like & I don't want to return to living like that again!

Believe me there is nothing more grounding that not having a cent in your pocket and realising that you have destroyed another relationship & business in another out of control gambling binge.

MrVan thanks for posting this thread, I'm sure you'll find your way to where it is you really want to be!

Edit: Now if I can only find a way to kick the smoking I'll be happy

[spearmaster]

Meister's got the links I was referring to

Budget control can be a real PITA sometimes. This is one of the reasons I disabled Instacash last year (though it's been re-enabled for other reasons). Once you don't have Instacash, and no nearby casinos, there aren't many other ways to fund your gambling unless you want to wait 3-4 days for an ACH deposit to clear Neteller (by which time hopefully the urge is gone anyhow). Your credit cards won't work (in many countries) so that's not an option.

A bank wire takes time to process as well - but if you're willing to go to the bank and consider something like this, you ought to take a left turn somewhere and go find something else, like a video arcade, or even a GA meeting... video games can be addicting too but they are way less expensive!

Gamblock is something you should install on your computer right away if you want to quit. I believe the software is free. Another way could be to enable your anti-whatever programs like McAfee or Norton which will block most of the ads - as well as Net Nanny or similar, which will also prevent you getting to the actual sites.

MrVan, I think you will be surprised (well, I guess you're already surprised) that there are a lot of people who sympathize with you - and many of us who have "been there, done that" as well. But you can also take heart in the fact that many of these people have also beaten their demons... better control of one's emotions doesn't happen overnight.

I have a less severe example - I once reached a weight of 107 kilos (about 235 pounds) which was way the heck over what I wanted to be. One day, as I was enroute to South Korea for a conference, I felt a bit strange... and by the time I had landed, I knew I had the flu - and I almost never get sick. That trip I could barely eat, and by the time I was back I had lost about 5 kilos (normally I gain 5 kilos on trips).

Since then, my weight gradually worked its way down as I started eating smaller portions, not because I tried hard, but because I was generally occupied with something other than eating... hovered between 95-97 kilos for a year or so... then dropped to 94 recently after going to a spa and hitting a far infrared sauna which took nearly a kilo off after just 25 minutes.

Before I knew it, I had dropped below 94 - and then I knew I was going to make an effort since I was nearing my target weight of 90 or below, without having actually tried. Dropped the carbs last week and lost 2.5 kilos in 4 days while still eating like a pig LOL... then unfortunately had to go to Dublin and you can't exactly choose when you're in the middle of nowhere so I've probably put those 2.5 kilos back on - but back into the low-carbs as soon as I got back and I am hoping I will hit the target before my next trip which could come any day now.

Believe it or not, there are ways to get around your emotions. After doing all those things above (disabling Instacash, etc.) find something - anything - that you like doing - and do it often if you can - especially sporting activities. Or come over to Thailand and work for me for a few months... I guarantee you will forget all about online gambling

Originally Posted by Trezz

If my Neteller is bare then I don't gamble. I've not gambled since 25 Oct 2006.

Exactly. No instacash, no funds in Neteller, no gamble.

Originally Posted by Trezz

Now if I can only find a way to kick the smoking I'll be happy

Next on my list - first I gotta hit target weight. Can't try to beat two things at the same time, and I also don't believe in going cold turkey - too much emotional stress will not help a bit, it will chase you right back to your old habits.

[MrVan]

It is both sad and encouraging to know that others have lost more than I have, but right now I need encouragement so I will take it as that.

Here is a list of 10 things I like to do besides gamble (thanks for the diary space Casinomeister )

1. Golf! (too bad it's winter lol)
2. Drive my car (Infiniti G35 coupe 6-speed )
3. Read books, like Carlos Castenada's series or Timothy Leary type books
4. Play Xbox 360 (mostly just the racing games and Tiger Woods)
5. Think about my future, what do I want to learn and accomplish?
6. Listen to music
7. Do good in school (mechanical engineering right now, thinking about switching to a math major)
8. Buy weird lamps and other intriguing lighting apparatuses (I've always loved Vegas just because of the lights, not the gambling)
9. Eat french fries (my favorite food!)
10. Love my girlfriend and make my parents proud of me.

Ahhh that feels good.

Spearmaster I have the opposite problem as you ... I am 6ft tall, 130lbs (less than 60 kilos lol) and sitting on my computer all day is just making me scrawnier. Hopefully now that I am putting gambling behind me I will find time to work out a little and be able to break 130 lbs. for the first time in my life.

I've never even really had an urge to gamble more than $20 of my own money, it's just that after that $20 is gone, I can't stop even if I want to. It wasn't even about the gambling anymore. There were even times when I was almost in tears telling myself "DO NOT DEPOSIT ANY MORE MONEY" over and over as I helplessly watched the mouse cursor click the deposit button. I can't wait to remember what it's like to see gambling from the outside once again.

[Weedlayer]

Originally Posted by amatrine

Good news! I just got hired!!!! (comment on my earlier post)

Start Wensday, in tool and dye))

Im out of this house)))))

Ama

Yeah, congratulations!

That's what I do, and it's tool and die, not dye. But you're obviously very excited.
___________________________

Gambling does attract obsessive/compulsive type personalities, doesn't it? I myself am definitely in this category. I wish our shared hobby had never brought such unhappiness to anyone on this board.

[Trezz]

Originally Posted by MrVan

I am 6ft tall, 130lbs (less than 60 kilos lol) and sitting on my computer all day is just making me scrawnier. Hopefully now that I am putting gambling behind me I will find time to work out a little and be able to break 130 lbs. for the first time in my life.

I was like 6' 3" and 65kg till I hit 44 Used to walk everywhere instead of taking car. Now 12 months later I've stacked on the weight, 25kg extra gain.

Maybe due to less stress and now I drive everywhere, puls sit in front of PC eating junk all day & night.

[Trezz]

Originally Posted by spearmaster

first I gotta hit target weight.

I'll send you the motorised treadmill my partner wanted. Tells me she doesn't feel safe walking on the streets and with summer fast approaching it's too hot anyway. She'd rather walk in air-conditioned comfort...

So yep I go out and buy her this contraption (if your a guy you'll know you got to do these things or you miss out on more important things )

Anyway's she's used it 3 times in 4 months

It's collecting dust and my foot has ran into in the dark a few times too.

Must say it looks impressive though

[GrandMaster]

Originally Posted by MrVan

7. Do good in school (mechanical engineering right now, thinking about switching to a math major)

Quit gambling now and switch to mathematics!

[tim5ny]

I commend you Mr. Van for your honesty and courage. On the rare occassions when we see someone baring their souls and exposing the reality of what gambling can do to one's life, it's like stepping out from the fantasy and into reality. Many of us sit in front of our computers and scan the Winner's screenshots wondering why everyone else is winning and having such a great time while we're sweating out how we're going to make next month's mortgage payment. My only advise would be... if you can't deposit, then you can't lose money. Contact every banking establishment in the circle of online casinos, Neteller, Firepay, Citadel, etc. , and have them cut you off from depositing. This is a surfire way to end your online career. If you have any land-based casinos nearby, then that's a whole new battle you're going to have to fight. Take Care! Tim

[tim5ny]

Originally Posted by silcnlayc

Gambling is an addiction. I was 8 when I was first introduced to it by my father. I had a $2 winning ticket at the race track and thats all she wrote.

I have learned to moderate my gambling with the attitude of , tomorrow will also be another day. I didn't quit, for I have tried and the urge was even more powerful, so I knew that I had to do something for myself and that was to get a hold of it as tightly as it held me.

Now, when I play online, I have a goal to reach and if it is reached, I cashout. If I lose, I log off and play in fun mode for "practice" until I feel the urge is gone (boredom sets in and I leave the computer.) this is my way to control my gambling for I know I have tried all other courses, and I know I DON"T WANT HELP for I like to gamble more than I want to quit.

But I knew there must be a medium somewhere and I learned to control myself this way. I fall off the wagon every once in a while (when I have a large win and play most of it back at times which infuriates me) but it has happened less and less to almost once ever 10 withdrawals, which is acceptable to me for I am still ahead on withdrawals since I implemented this pattern ten years ago.

They say if you do it for 21 days (repitition of play) then you have a pattern set and a mind change. It took me 30 days to set my pattern.

I learned to spend more time with my husband this way, knowing if I blow my stash in one go..I am outta there!

I hope you can find that medium to control the urges to play online, for it is truly an awful thing to live with at times, but it also can be more enjoyable when you get to control IT rather than let it control you.

We all have choices and to choose to master this, you must believe you are the stronger of the two.

Good luck in your road to freedom!

I'm impressed with this posting. There's some real wisdom to be had in it's content. Thank you!