CM, Max, Simmo!, Spear................How Do You Do It??????

[suzecat]

This kitty is frightfully curious about this topic that has been around as long as women came into the fray.............how do men cope with the way women pick and fret with one another? Haven't seen men do this with one another but have seen it plenty with women. What's your secret? Not trying to start a war of the sexes, just wonder, from your perspective, how do men just let stuff roll off their back, yet women seem to need to go on the attack about the same thing?

And Spear, what happened to the elephant's hiney?

[RobWin]

Originally Posted by suzecat

This kitty is frightfully curious about this topic that has been around as long as women came into the fray.............how do men cope with the way women pick and fret with one another? Haven't seen men do this with one another but have seen it plenty with women. What's your secret? Not trying to start a war of the sexes, just wonder, from your perspective, how do men just let stuff roll off their back, yet women seem to need to go on the attack about the same thing?

And Spear, what happened to the elephant's hiney?

Suze, men just beat the shit out of each other and then go out and have a beer together and talk about the women at the club...

[chuchu59]

Originally Posted by RobWin

Suze, men just beat the shit out of each other and then go out and have a beer together and talk about the women at the club...

Same here Rob. In the good old days, we talked about women and horses in the lounges. Now it's more about women and soccer.

[jas2587]

men didnt let it roll off their backs
remember
Lojo tnytim to name a couple lol

most men would say
lets take it outside

they cant do that online lol

Cindy

[chuchu59]

Originally Posted by jas2587

men didnt let it roll off their backs
remember
Lojo tnytim to name a couple lol

most men would say
lets take it outside

they cant do that online lol

Cindy

I agree that we shouldnt do it online and should keep these with ourselves. Lojo and Tim were usually influenced by alcohol when they went berserk on these things although this cannot be regarded as en excuse.

[jetset]

I'm not so sure that men don't "pick and fret," on occasion, too.

Take corporate politics for example - that can sometimes lead to ridiculously petty and usually unproductive exchanges and behaviour

[maxd]

Interesting question Suze. I think the others have more or less said it already but if I were to hazard an answer of my own it would go something like this:

Women talk about stuff, men press for "solutions". By this I mean that women generally actually get something out of the process of discussing and exchanging ideas while men tend to be more "goal oriented", they just want to get the ball across the line and they're done.

Ok, as flimsy as that is, let's run with it for the time being.

When we take our human interactions out of the real world and push it onto the web we actually tilt the playing field quite a bit. The web is just multimedia, mainly words when it comes to a forum like this, and that's fairly heavily skewed towards the "discussion" side of life. Since "discussion" stuff is what women excel at it follows, more or less, that women are quite happy to carry the face-to-face over onto the web.

And that, I think, is why women are happy to chat on the web while men tend to either shrug and walk away from an on-line debate or attempt to turn it into a session of the battle bots.

Besides -- and I hope you'll look at the general idea I'm trying to convey here rather than the specifics -- for guys there is lots of porn and YouTube stuff on the web so ... well, let's just say that there are only so many hours in the day.

I know there are obvious exceptions to everything I've said but when you get to talking generalities I think that's pretty much a given.

[RobWin]

Originally Posted by maxd

Besides -- and I hope you'll look at the general idea I'm trying to convey here rather than the specifics -- for guys there is lots of porn and YouTube stuff on the web so ... well, let's just say that there are only so many hours in the day.

I heard that !!

[Sassy1]

Originally Posted by suzecat

This kitty is frightfully curious about this topic that has been around as long as women came into the fray.............how do men cope with the way women pick and fret with one another? Haven't seen men do this with one another but have seen it plenty with women.

A long time ago someone sent me this story and I saved it because it is so 'on target,' not to mention funny, and I think it describes exactly what you are saying:

DIFFERENCES BETWEEN MEN AND WOMEN

Let's say a guy named Roger is attracted to a woman named Elaine. He asks her out to a movie; she accepts; they have a pretty good time. A few nights later he asks her out to dinner, and again they enjoy themselves. They continue to see each other regularly, and after a while neither one of them is seeing anybody else. And then, one evening when they're driving home, a thought occurs to Elaine, and, without really thinking, she says it aloud: ''Do you realize that, as of tonight, we've been seeing each other for exactly six months?'' And then there is silence in the car. To Elaine, it seems like a very loud silence. She thinks to herself: Geez, I wonder if it bothers him that I said that. Maybe he's been feeling confined by our relationship; maybe he thinks I'm trying to push him into some kind of obligation that he doesn't want, or isn't sure of.

And Roger is thinking: Gosh. Six months.

And Elaine is thinking: But, hey, I'm not so sure I want this kind of relationship, either. Sometimes I wish I had a little more space, so I'd have time to think about whether I really want us to keep going the way we are, moving steadily toward . . . I mean, where are we going? Are we just going to keep seeing each other at this level of intimacy? Are we heading toward marriage? Toward children? Toward a lifetime together? Am I ready
for that level of commitment? Do I really even know this person?

And Roger is thinking: . . . so that means it was . . . let's see . . .February when we started going out, which was right after I had the car at the dealer's, which means . . . lemme check the odometer . . . Whoa! I am way overdue for an oil change here.

And Elaine is thinking: He's upset. I can see it on his face. Maybe I'm reading this completely wrong. Maybe he wants more from our relationship, more intimacy, more commitment; maybe he has sensed -- even before I sensed it -- that I was feeling some reservations. Yes, I bet that's it. That's why he's so reluctant to say anything about his own feelings. He's afraid of being rejected.

And Roger is thinking: And I'm gonna have them look at the transmission again. I don't care what those morons say, it's still not shifting right. And they better not try to blame it on the cold weather this time. What cold weather? It's 87 degrees out, and this thing is shifting like a goddamn garbage truck, and I paid those incompetent thieves $600.

And Elaine is thinking: He's angry. And I don't blame him. I'd be angry, too. God, I feel so guilty, putting him through this, but I can't help the way I feel. I'm just not sure.

And Roger is thinking: They'll probably say it's only a 90- day warranty. That's exactly what they're gonna say, the scumballs.

And Elaine is thinking: maybe I'm just too idealistic, waiting for a
Knight to come riding up on his white horse, when I'm sitting right next to a perfectly good person, a person I enjoy being with, a person I truly do care about, a person who seems to truly care about me. A person who is in pain because of my self-centered, schoolgirl romantic fantasy.

And Roger is thinking: Warranty? They want a warranty? I'll give them a goddamn warranty. I'll take their warranty and stick it right up their......

''Roger,'' Elaine says aloud.
"What?'' says Roger, startled.
''Please don't torture yourself like this,'' she says, her eyes beginning to brim with tears. ''Maybe I should never have . . Oh God, I feel so......'' (She breaks down, sobbing.)
''What?'' says Roger.
''I'm such a fool,'' Elaine sobs. ''I mean, I know there's no knight. I really know that. It's silly. There's no knight, and there's no horse.''
''There's no horse?'' says Roger.
''You think I'm a fool, don't you?'' Elaine says.
''No!'' says Roger, glad to finally know the correct answer.
''It's just that . . . It's that I . . . I need some time,'' Elaine says.
(There is a 15-second pause while Roger, thinking as fast as he can, tries to come up with a safe response. Finally he comes up with one that he thinks might work.)
''Yes,'' he says.
(Elaine, deeply moved, touches his hand.)
''Oh, Roger, do you really feel that way?'' she says.
''What way?'' says Roger.
"That way about time,'' says Elaine.
''Oh,'' says Roger. ''Yes.''
(Elaine turns to face him and gazes deeply into his eyes, causing him to become very nervous about what she might say next, especially if it involves a horse. At last she speaks.)
''Thank you, Roger,'' she says.
''Thank you,'' says Roger.

Then he takes her home, and she lies on her bed, a conflicted, tortured soul, and weeps until dawn, whereas when Roger gets back to his place, he opens a bag of Doritos, turns on the TV, and immediately becomes deeply involved in a rerun of a tennis match between two Czechoslovakians he never heard of. A tiny voice in the far recesses of his mind tells him that something major was going on back there in the car, but he is pretty sure there is no way he would ever understand what, and so he figures it's better if he doesn't think about it. (This is also Roger's policy regarding world hunger.)

The next day Elaine will call her closest friend, or perhaps two of them, and they will talk about this situation for six straight hours. In painstaking detail, they will analyze everything she said and everything he said, going over it time and time again, exploring every word, expression, and gesture for nuances of meaning, considering every possible ramification. They will continue to discuss this subject, off and on, for weeks, maybe months, never reaching any definite conclusions, but never getting bored with it, either.

Meanwhile, Roger, while playing racquetball one day with a mutual friend of his and Elaine's, will pause just before serving, frown, and say: ''Norm, did Elaine ever own a horse?''

[jetset]

LMAO - thanks, Sassy1 - best chuckle I've had all week!