Addiction - or just a gambler?

[jenn1381]

So, I've been struggling with the concept of addiction lately. I have been gambling since I was 12 years old. My friend's grandma would take us both to bingo, buy our cards, and if we won we'd give her half. One of us would almost always win, never a lot, usually $20 or so. I also played scratch cards, as long as I had the money for them someone in my family would buy them for me.

On my 18th birthday I went to the casino for the first time (we lived in Alberta then, and 18 was the legal age) and I loved it! I was certainly hooked and loved going. I was a smart gambler, though. I never gambled more than I could afford, and I had a strict rule that if I doubled my money, I quit.

Then, I found online gambling. I'd say I was around 19 or 20, but I didn't really start wagering my own money until a year or two after that. I started off doing really well, with the same strategy I used at B&M's. Bet low, double my money, and quit. I'm now 27, and probably over the past year or two I have noticed a difference in my gambling strategy.

I have been in school for the past 11 months. It has been a difficult thing for me to do, and the school has not been without its issues - we switched teachers 4 times for various reasons, and my stress level went thru the roof. Then, my beloved grandmother died, suddenly and very unexpectedly. It was after that that I began to gamble more. So much more that the line of credit I opened to get me through school was maxed out 2 months before I was done. Credit card, same story. I worked my way through school, and that money disappeared, too.

Now that I am finished school, I have a lot of extra time. It used to be that when I was at home I had homework or studying to do. Now, I am bored and finding the urge to gamble pretty strong, although I do not have the financial means to do so. The fact that I feel the NEED to gamble is what has prompted this post. I respect a lot of you and while I tend to hide in the backround, I feel I know a lot of you just from reading your posts. I trust that if you tell me I have a problem, that I probably do. All the extra time I have really leaves me with a lot of time to think as well. I am so proud of myself for getting thru school and graduating with honors, but I am so not proud of how I handled my finances! I am smarter than that, and I am now way more in debt than I should be.

Could it be an addiction in the making? Or am I just a gambler? Gamblers love to play, right? Any thoughts? Don't hold back, if I didn't want to know, I wouldn't have asked.

[NextToYou]

What I think is a pretty good rule of thumb is that:

You don't have an addiction if you can stop at any time and have a two week or two month break from gambling for example without having any symptoms (bad sleep, risen stress level etc).

For example I could personally have a break of any length anytime even though I am a professional gambler at the moment (poker). And I actually have taken planned 2-4 week breaks from time to time and never have had any side effects (actually stress levels have lowered during those breaks, which has been the purpose of the planned breaks too in the first place).

[babs7262]

Hi Jenni

I remember reading a few of your posts. I am in no way a therapist or counselor and this is just an opinion:

I personally feel you use gambling as a stress reliever by the way your post is going. I also feel it could turn into an addiction if you dont address the issues you are having. If youve been messing around with gambling since the age of 12 and it hasnt taken over your life by now, I feel you have a strong hold on it. I feel with the loss of your grandma along with boredome you are turning to gambling to relieve both your stress and boredom. Maybe get a part time christmas job like gift wrapping etc. This way you will earn it instead of spend it.

Im glad you are posting and maybe others will give some input. I wish you all the luck and hope you find some relief. Ive been gambling my whole as well. My cousins were jockeys ,my gramps taught me poker and craps by the time I was 7 and my life is still in control, infact I just took a 2 week break because I saw myself depositing more as the holidays are nearing and I seem to get a little depressed because my family isnt near me. The holidays can be a huge trigger for addictions.

Be well sweety! Im sure you can make it through this

[jenn1381]

Originally Posted by NextToYou

What I think is a pretty good rule of thumb is that:

You don't have an addiction if you can stop at any time and have a two week or two month break from gambling for example without having any symptoms (bad sleep, risen stress level etc).

I take breaks all the time, sometimes not only because I have to.. lol. I don't really find stress levels increase during those times, and I rarely have issues sleeping. So I guess that's a good sign lol... thanks for your reply.

[jenn1381]

Thanks for your response babs.. I do agree that I tend to use gambling as a stress reliever. It's something else to focus on. It also fills time as I tend to bore easily. I do have a job - a very busy one at that - and I am also searching for a new job in my field now that I've graduated. That takes up a lot of time. I'm finding as I get older, I bore quickly and easily. Far more than I used to. I'm thinking I need a new hobby, or perhaps I need to do some volunteer work or something when I am not working. I think the more I stay away from my house, the better off I will be. I am hoping to get myself a puppy as a grad gift, and I think that would help a lot! It angers me that with the money I've gambled away I could have had 2 or 3 puppies in the past year. Live and learn I guess...

I do think that I need to deal with the death of my grandma instead of ignoring the fact that it happened...as sick as it sounds, Christmas is helping me do that. Hard to ignore the fact that she isn't here. I think once I've dealt with it, I'll stop looking for something to fill that void (she lived with me and kept me very busy)...

[winbig]

I think that when gambling comes to be a "need" instead of a "want" then it's time to take a break from it.

Other key indicators are:

Not being able to quit when you're EVEN, once you came back from being 'stuck' a considerable amount in any given session. For example, if you were down $1,000 during a session and managed to break even after a lucky streak, but kept on playing thinking you could keep winning, only to give that $1,000 back again in the end, then I think that's a clear indication that you have a gambling problem.

Not being able to quit when you're AHEAD a very considerable amount. For example: You start with a $300 bankroll, and at one point you're ahead $4,000, but lose everything, including the $300 you started with, then again, there's a problem.

I guess the constant factor here is that once you're winning, you have the feeling that you can't lose, which is one of the major problems with compulsive/obsessive gamblers.

[RobWin]

Originally Posted by jenn1381

So, I've been struggling with the concept of addiction lately.

I'm now 27, and probably over the past year or two I have noticed a difference in my gambling strategy.

I have been in school for the past 11 months.

Now that I am finished school, I have a lot of extra time. It used to be that when I was at home I had homework or studying to do. Now, I am bored and finding the urge to gamble pretty strong, although I do not have the financial means to do so. The fact that I feel the NEED to gamble is what has prompted this post.

Could it be an addiction in the making? Or am I just a gambler? Gamblers love to play, right? Any thoughts? Don't hold back, if I didn't want to know, I wouldn't have asked.

Jenn, Gambling & Addiction go hand in hand the same way that Smoking & Addiction do IMO. I would also like to ask you why are you so bored since you have finished school now ??

Are you not using that education to your better benefit ? Or are you not working full time in the career field you got your degree or certificate in ?

[jenn1381]

Originally Posted by RobWin

I would also like to ask you why are you so bored since you have finished school now ??

Are you not using that education to your better benefit ? Or are you not working full time in the career field you got your degree or certificate in ?

Unfortunately, it takes time to find a job in my field. I'm expecting (hoping) to have one by the new year, for now I am working at the same job that I worked my way thru school with. During the week I am crazy busy, but I have weekends off. The college I went to was an accelerated college, my course is typically 2 years but at this college it was just under 11 months - as you can imagine, that leaves a lot of homework needing to be done at home. I think I got so used to being crazy busy absolutely all the time that I now crave it in a way. I just need to find more constructive things to fill in my days off, as I will always have weekends off.

[Luigi810]

Hi Jenn, what I recommend for you is finding a hobbie to relieve your boredom, not by gambling though, I also started gambling at 11 years old, pitching quarters, playing blackjack with the neighbor for money, then bingo with mom, hit 21 and went right down to the casino, at the age of 37 I found online casinos, and now here I am at 43 years old and I blew a fortune, how I regret it..
I know excatly how you feel right now..when things got me down I turned to gambling, when I was mad gambling was right at my finger tips, when I just wanted to forget things, there was gambling, and boredom was my number one problem..
Jenn, I can go on forever, I just beg you to quit while you can, it's not a pretty picture and the more you play it just sucks you in even deeper and when/if you do win, look out, you'll never get out, and if you lose you'll do everything in your power to chase your losses..to me, it's a no/win situation..
Not to mention the sleepless nights, the bounced checks, the voiding everyone you know just to play, Ughhhh, NOT GOOD
I wish you the best of luck Jenn, I really do, we're all here when you need us..this forum helped me and it will help you if you really truly want help..

[tofu23]

Originally Posted by jenn1381

I just need to find more constructive things to fill in my days off, as I will always have weekends off.

You could STOP gambling altogether (yes you can). But let's be perhaps a little more practical and approach this challenge from a perspective that I think may suit you.

Substitute the 'gambling' with ..............winning. Up above NextToYou mentioned he/she was a professional gambler and implicitly a winning gambler. I DO NOT mean you need to become a professional gambler in a poker player sense. I mean you can easily make bonus play an integral part of your online gambling profile - and you need not lose another $1 for the rest of your life.

Admittedly there is not a lot of information here on how to use a bonus for profit. The practice appears to be at odds with some opposing commercial imperatives. But those commercial imperatives are not your concern. You must see thru the affiliate dross for your own financial and mental well being.

Whilst using a bonus is a relatively simple exercise it can be, and it is, an intellectual exercise. By the sounds of it such a intellectual exercise would suit you.

Assess the bonus offer. Consider the T+Cs, the integrity of the casino, the games playable, calculate expected returns - maintain an itemized spreadsheet of all your gaming activities. The experience is liberating. Profitably liberating.

Alternatively STOP gambling. Because you not looking for profit you are looking for love (and/or punishment) and you're looking in the wrong place.