Does My Friend Have a Gambling Problem?

**james01** · 12th May 2008, 07:31 PM

Okay - I wasn't exactly saying that I wouldn't date her because she's fat. I was just saying that I'm not so attracted to her.

I CERTAINLY wouldn't shag her for kicks. I'm not that kind of person. If I'm with her, I'm with her.

The on-again off-again was her thing. I liked her, a lot. She just kept "needing space." I'm actually pretty sad that she broke up with me, which is another reason why I'm not sure I want to be with Tamtam - I don't want to use a friend for a rebound.

Most importantly, I don't want her to feel like she's "paying me back." She's a nice girl, really nice. I'm just not so attracted to her, and I'm not sure we have enough in common.

**GaryWatson** · 12th May 2008, 08:05 PM

Haha, I thought I would give you a hard time.

If you are not so attracted to her, maybe you should stay friends or you wont remain friends much longer.

It's unfair to date someone if you have to question her looks. Down the line it will have a bad effect on her confidence.

There's nothing wrong with not being physically attracted to someone, you just need to know where to draw the line or you will be hurting more than a long term friendship.

**zebedy** · 13th May 2008, 12:36 AM

they should rename this thread oprahmeister

**babs7262** · 13th May 2008, 01:49 AM

So it got derailed a little lol. As long as the OP doesnt mind right?

You know whats funny. Rich liked me more than a friend a lot earlier than I did him because I just thought he was too skinny (believe it or not). It took 2 years to give it a shot. I thought to myself, how could I not date him just because he's skinny when I got upset about people judging me because I wasnt? I was being such a hypocrite

We are married 9 years this September and on top of we dont have much in common other than that we love and respect and trust each other. The Today show had a Dr on about having things in common and the people who are married the longest have the least in common. If you are too much alike then things can get crazy.

Im not telling you to date or not to date her, but what Im saying is ...Dont overthink this too much. Go with the flow and stop secod guessing yourself. If it happens, it happens

**kakata** · 13th May 2008, 02:02 AM

My wife was.... .... was 100 pounds ago a nice, actually ,Very nice looking lady, that was 100 pounds ago.

James if you dont really like her....just continue to be a friend as you have been sofar....my 2 cents

**Jasminebed** · 13th May 2008, 02:43 AM

You and Tamtam are friends, just leave it like that for now. She is in trouble, and may not see you for the white charger you are riding.

And for the on again, off again relationship, when a gal says she "needs a break" it means she is shopping around for someone better, but wants you to be available should it not work out, or she is lonely or horny.

I don't know how old you are, but if a relationship has too many breakups, it is not meant to be.

And just because you helped Tamtam out, you do not become personally responsible for her. Asking her "out" to a movie is kinda a date thing, and might be misinterpreted, unless it is something you already do regularly. A meal or a drink out gives more a chance to talk, and I thought that you asked another friend to check in as well was a great idea.

Again, just an old buttinsky, but I hope all find true love and happiness. And true friends and laughter are a great place to be as well.

**james01** · 13th May 2008, 08:17 PM

Thanks Jasminebed,

We ended up not going to the movies, as she had a rough day at work. We just talked on the phone for a while instead. We talked about the kiss and she said that she's not into it so much either, so all's well for now.

Thank you everyone for all your support especially as we've drifted more and more off topic.

**Darem1** · 18th May 2008, 03:47 AM

I finally had a chance to read this thread. The best thing that happened to your friend (since she really cannot afford to gamble) is that she lost big the first time. Had she won, she might become addicted, but if she wasn't already and this was her first time gambling then I think she should be OK.
Probably learned her lesson. Hope so. Not attracted to her? Keep her as a friend. As far as lending her money, that was a nice thing to do. Just understand that a loan to a friend often becomes a gift. I've been there
(on the lending/gifting end.) As far as your on again off again relationship,
well, you will work that out for yourself. Good luck to you and your friend.