I'm such an idiot to start playing online again!

[Rusty]

That is a very intelligent, eloquent and informative post Lojo.
Thanks and I hope he takes your advice.

[pepermintpatty]

Let It Ride, starring Richard Dreyfuss, is the name of my all time favorite gambling movie about horse racing. Maybe you've seen it, if not you should! (It's about us)

IMHO, you need to stop beating up on yourself & take this one step at a time. Is this urgent? Yes, and you've chosen wrong - again, but it's ok. We think we can handle the situations when they come. But we all know "life comes at you fast". And it can always be worse. It takes some of us, many breaking point moments before we get the lesssons correct, so that we can proceed with the next chapter in our lives. Perhaps, you'll choose correctly the next time.

Just a short story: My husband & I met a woman who was on our charter to AC. Everytime we went, which was frequent, she was also there. During our flight, we began to talk about how excited we were, & couldn't wait to get there kind of stuff! She said, she loved to gamble. And then began to tell me stories, about her hits & misses. She did say, she had always managed to get through the down times. I saw her periodically during our junket & she was still playing!

The next day, about 20 minutes before we were to leave for the airport, I saw her hit for $3500.00, she was all happy. I went over and congratulated her, and I said, you managed to do that just in time, as were ready to leave! She said, she was taking the limo back to the plane, instead of the bus. I told her I'd see her on the plane and as I walked away, I turned to see her dropping chips into a $100.00 machine.

We got on the plane and about 15 minutes later she got on. The look on her face, made the pit of my stomach sick. I just knew. She said, "you did see me with the money in my hand, didn't you?" I said, "yes." That woman sat down beside me, put her face in her hands, took a deep breath and didn't exhale for a long time. I actually, thought I was going to have to slap her! Finally, she let out one of the longest "breathe outs" I've ever witnessed. Then she said, I gave up a day's pay to come to AC; today, I bought $2500.00 in markers, & when I get home, my house payment is due, past due. I had exactly what I needed and blew it." She opened her purse, took out her wallet, there was her yellow marker slips, & tucked away a $20 bill. She said, I'm so glad I forgot about this, cause I wouldn't have been able to get out of airport parking.

"When will I stop doing this, she said?" And I said, when you get "tired". of feeling this way. She closed her eyes and never said another word the rest of the flight. That was the last time I ever saw her. This was truly gut wrenching, I'll never forget it.

Let it Ride, there's a name for people who "just" do the right things all the time, & a name for those of us that don't - NO - not smart & stupid! Seriously, we will continue to suffer, until we have wholeheartly decided that there's a better way. My hope is that you will seek that avenue. You have the desire, you need only to dig deep & find the strength to say, no more, I'm tired, then make the steps needed to succeed. Then I believe you'll find the peace, which so many of us long to have. Best wishes to you, know that you have a special purpose in the world, and don't forget to love yourself.

[AudiManinBoro]

To me this is a little bit of a grey area question. I can see perspective from both sides. If you are an alcoholic and voluntarily of your own free will enter a pub and purchase alcoholic beverages, is it the pubs fault for serving you or the person who lacked the willpower to avoid alcohol to begin with? I agree casinos should help people with gambling addictions but for how long for? if after a year a person comes back and wishes to reopen their account regardless of whether or not they have cured their addiction ( and by going back it appears not) is the casino really held accountable? Many people forget that in all honesty they are NOT here for you the customer and what makes you happy! They are a business and are out to generate money, if they can satisfy their customers at the same time great if not i dont really believe that they care.If you are a bad driver and write off car after car, is the car salesroom morally obligated to say no sorry mrs whatever you cant buy this car now because your just not a good enough driver? Course not, they sell the car regardless. At the end of the day casinos may assist people with their addictions, but it is not their problem ultimately, they just want your money as all businesses do, regardless of product sold.

[frufrugirl]

Lojo, I went to the site you mentioned and read thru the information and continued on to the "bullets", lol, I like that name.
Basically it was a reconfirmation of what I am doing, I think it would be very useful for gamblers who wish to quit, to put a name on the urges that come, as named on the site..."the beast." I like the idea of naming it because the "Ill just play $20" voices that come are co mingled in our own thoughts and if separated and id'd have less weight.
I still occasionally have the "beast" tell me "it would be nice to go play just $20.00 at the casino..", I just say "shut up" and tell it to go back it's cave! lololol..am over 35 days gamble free and no longer have the urges to gamble that used to make me break out in a cold sweat. A quick "shut up" always works and a redirection to "hmmmm what can we do today?" is now a part of my regular thought process when the "beast" shows up. I recognise the urge for what it is, just an urge and nothing more. It cant make me gamble. It has no arms, it has no legs. As a result I can still enjoy reading this forum and others because I seriously enjoy the gaming industry news, but, I choose to never play again, real or free play.

Regarding the online industry and self exclusion. I can understand the outrage the OP is feeling. I dont know exactly what the rage is really directed at, from not being given the winnings or being ticked off at himself for going back online or at the Casinos for letting him back in. Maybe all of them. I have read many a story of a CG "testing" the system and falling hard again when a hole is discovered. The majority of them did not have Gamblock in place. One woman, after she recovered from her gambling spree, admitted she did it "accidently on purpose" lol.

I do think if a person is strong enough to cancel their accounts and self exclude, and asks for a lifetime exclusion, it should be honored. I dont think however, that an online casino should be required to become a detective to keep this player out. (the individual casino or Group wouldnt have to if they offered 100percent exclusion) Its too expensive and time consuming and those costs may be passed on to people that do like to play and can do it responsibly.

Now, if the OP wants to stop online gambling bravo! He needs to get his barriers in place once more and go for it again! I think a valuable lesson was learned and by posting it may save others from repeating his mistake. Programs that are specifically made to deny access to gambling and have no other function but to do that are much more reliable than the Casinos themselves as it is true, the Casinos, both honorable and unhonorable , want our dollars. Block programs along with other barriers need to be in place.

I know the pain that is felt with out of control gambling and I support him/her in his quest to stop. I'll be rooting for him and think it would be worth while to check out the site lojo mentioned, if other help has failed, or just for a "what have i got to loose if I check it out?"

Best wishes to all, excellent thread!

[lojo]

frufrugirl, I think whenever people quit anything self-destructive, they do it alone, so to speak; they do it of their own volition, regardlerss of the method or program they use. That is just an opinion, and I certainly wouldn't argue with someone who believes a group, or 'higher power' or anything else was what gave them relief.

But, you saying that AVRT is basically what you do anyway, really adds another 'case' of it being true to me.

Some people would be put-off by the RR site, because Jack is sooooo 'anti-12-step' and for good reason, if a person is willing to look at the rates of 'recovery' with an open mind and not rely on urban myths and anecdotal evidence as well as the media hype.

I'm glad you are doing well with your choice. I would tend to think there are more people here who may not be doing themselves the best of favors gambling. I would certainly never judge that, it is totally up to the person to determine if they are addicted.

I like the RR 'test'... do you feel both ways about it? Ambivelant? That's all that's needed to self determine addiction imho.

Good luck frufru I hope the OP or any one else with a problem will seek out any and all avenues of wellness and end the desperation with freedom and mastery.

[frufrugirl]

I started with an online support group that helped pull my head out of the sand. I read their stories , journal and post. They have been a blessing and and eye opener, couldnt have done it without their help. The avrt method developed with my growing confidence. Now if someone could just start with AVRT that would be so much easier! lolol!

[sirius]

oh how right you are, the casinos are not to blame, they've been as good as gold, how dare I dis them!

kick me one more time then I'll be off and kill myself

thanks spin palace, thanks 32Red, you guys bleed me dry last year and then you took the last few drops this time around, permanent should MEAN permanent. If a B&M casino let an excluded player in again they would be fined in a court of law. It really is a shame because I considered you both to be good casinos but if you can't get it right then there is no hope for the online industry.

and while I'm at it, I really hate this thanking system, you guys keep thanking each other not because of the post but because of who posted it, and then add nothing to the thread yourself

bye.

I'm not surprised 32Red let you reopen your account. Some time ago I blacklisted them after they mislead players and encouraged gambling addiction in a sham Roulette article published in a high circulation UK magazine. They were blacklisted not because of the article/advert they let slip through, but that they had the power to address the issue but did nothing about it, even suggesting they had many new players induced to play from it. Therefore, they were more than happy to forget it and count the profits. Also, an affiliate manager even implied that they needed such players in their business. Sadly, Casinomeister didn't see much wrong and awarded them Casino of the Year again about a month afterwards.

[Casinomeister]

I'm not surprised 32Red let you reopen your account. Some time ago I blacklisted them after they mislead players and encouraged gambling addiction in a sham Roulette article published in a high circulation UK magazine. They were blacklisted not because of the article/advert they let slip through, but that they had the power to address the issue but did nothing about it, even suggesting they had many new players induced to play from it. Therefore, they were more than happy to forget it and count the profits. Also, an affiliate manager even implied that they needed such players in their business. Sadly, Casinomeister didn't see much wrong and awarded them Casino of the Year again about a month afterwards.

This article was discussed in depth - it's archived somewhere, I'm sure someone can dig it up if they want. Sirius came across as someone with a chip on his shoulder, as he is now.

Anyway, 32red outlined how they handle problem gamblers in my webcast 4 Feb 2004:
http://www.casinomeister.com/webcast...4.php#4feb2004

This is the first I've read this thread, and I'll have someone at 32Red look into this ASAP to see exactly what happened.

@Sirius
That's the last time that you'll be posting here. For those wondering what's up with this guy. He's a webmaster who occasionally posts in this forum - usually to have a dig at me or Casinomeister - mostly with misinformation. Anyone here can search through his previous postings to see what I'm talking about. He's been warned enough times that this is unacceptable for webmasters. I don't go to his forum and harass him.

Also, your 9 June PAB against gaming.lastminute.com just got trashed. Go bother someone else with your problems. Thanks!

Bye, dude.

[mucullus]

6 month ban, BS, when I closed my account I was told it was a life ban and also my details would be shared with MG database so I could never play at an MG casino again, well I have news for ya, I can still play at MG casinos

If this is true, I would lose my trust in eCOGRA. I mean the process and consequences of a casino exclusion should be one of the crystal clear basics of an eCOGRA certification.

[dominique]

I really do think when a problem gambler asks to have their account closed it should be for life and across the software.

Addicts cannot be cured, there is a high possibility of a relapse.

That said, anyone wanting to quit needs to install gamblock on all computers.

If you have a problem, you also need to ask any portals you use to block your IP.

Every barrier helps by postponing the relapse. Trying to find a way around your blocks gives additional time to think and get the better of the impulse.