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Thread: OH CANADA!

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    ironmike67 is offline Full Member
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    OH CANADA!

    Wow! I just got back from what should have been a 3hr road trip and turned into a 4hr road trip... All I have to blame for this wasted time and enormous amount of frustration and mildly released road rage is: CANADIAN DRIVERS!!!!!!!! Oh my God: If your license plate says: Ontario, please just go the frickin' speed limit and stay in the right lane... Someone else out there has to know what I am talking about...Because this always happens to me, I feel like Canadian Drivers flock towards my car. Of course I had time to think during this frustrating car ride about other things as I went 20 minutes under the speed limit praying these cars would move out of my way and into the right lane... I came up with one new and outstanding perspective when thinking about Canada and it is:
    CANADA IS ONLY GOOD FOR 2 THINGS: BEER AND HOCKEY!!!!!!

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    Quote Originally Posted by ironmike67 View Post
    CANADA IS ONLY GOOD FOR 2 THINGS: BEER AND HOCKEY!!!!!!


    I have only visited Canada once long ago for EXPO 67 (or 69 ?) as a kid so I can't speak to your observations but I imagine Pina and/or Happy or someone will be with you shortly.

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    Quote Originally Posted by ironmike67 View Post
    CANADA IS ONLY GOOD FOR 2 THINGS: BEER AND HOCKEY!!!!!!
    Your wrong they have the finest French Canadian Girls
    I'll take one before any beer or hockey puck any day of the week.

    French Canadian Girls

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    OH CANADA!


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    OH CANADA!

    You could have taken out your handgun and shot the drivers that were
    in your way silly!
    You simply must forgive us silly Canucks, we are so busy drinking our beers and listening to hockey games on the radio while we drive that we forget that there are other drivers on the road.

    I really must go now, I have to go to the doctor and get my prescription refilled for my next weeks supply of beer.
    Did I mention that Doctors visits are free? Oh well , if I ever do get shot by some road raged American , I can go to the hospital and recover for a month for (you guessed it) FREE!



    Hugs and kisses,
    Canada


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    the "80" and "100" signs don't mean miles per hour!

    american drivers in canada are flippin insane! one guy from michigan pulled out from behind me, changed lanes and passed me on the right, and he began this manoeuvre after passing a sign that his newly-chosen lane was to end in 100 metres. and we were doing about 115 (65 mph) on a highway that was narrowing down to one lane to merge onto another highway.

    and i don't know anyone, personally or just casually when out driving, who does less than the speed limit. the occasional grannie sure, but 95% of people drive at or occasionally above the speed limit.

    and indeed our beer is much stronger, so we gotta not drive as crazy in case we or someone we're sharing the road with might be a bit too tipsy.

    and i know its been said once here, and i've said it before in other threads: one thing canada will always be better for is that we don't lose our houses and jobs when we're off sick or on parental leave.

    our government is not black and white. we have third parties to temper and take sides and cut deals so no one force has ultimate power (unless we vote the governing party into a majority of house seats, and even in which case we still have ways to force an election if our government is not functioning properly). each seat counts for each party, not a certain percent wins a whole area and a fixed number of "points" based on the area's density. our seats are each for a constituency of approximately the same number of people. america gives away like 369 points and the guy with 185 points is president even if he only wins by a slight margin in a quarter of the states that are the most crucial. in canada, we give away 315 or so seats, and each seat is sat in by its winner and the real number of seats determines who has the most power. often it will split with the two main parties over 100 seats each, and the remainder split between the fringe parties and indies. this gives the outgroups bargaining power, and the governing party doesn't get as much absolute power to do things without running it by the other teams.

    we don't stir up shit. we're not preachy.

    we have stronger tastier beer and better cheaper pot.

    we can drink at 19.

    we don't insist on owning guns in the unlikely event that we might one day face victimization by a ruthless attacker and happen to have the gun within reach at the time. pussies can't even defend yourselves without guns.

    we don't stockpile tens of thousands of nuclear weapons in the unlikely event that we might one day face a ruthless enemy who attacks us with nuclear weapons.

    we welcomed slaves when they were not even considered human in america.

    also mentioned already, we have some of the hottest chicks! all the rockstars and jetsetters admit this when they visit. they must store extra fat in their bosoms for the cold winters. we're also so fair in complexion for these geographical reasons.

    where i live, we get a spectacularly intense display of all four seasons. 40 deg.C and drought, to brilliant autumn maple leaves, to minus 40 and blizzards, to long rainy springs and flourishing plant life.

    nationwide, we have much diversity in our lands, frozen tundras to rocky mountains to sandy white beaches to forest-laden shield. small craggy islands, flat endless prairies, marshy bogs, urban sprawls, riverside plains, quaint valley villages.

    plus all the wildlife, bears, birds, lynx(es?), deer, fish aplenty, caribou, wolves, etc.

    our dollar is going to pass yours soon.

    hockey night in canada, longest running tv show in history. first thing ever broadcast on canadian tv, continues to run to the current day. the show's theme, our cultural anthem.

    multi-coloured money.

    leaving the u's in colour, neighbour, etc.

    freedom to go anywhere, including cuba, and be welcomed almost universally wherever we go.

    niagara falls. your half doesn't hold a candle to the power and beauty nature displays rushing over that horseshoe at 100 000 litres per second or some such.

    cn tower. the middle east, particularly the UAE, is about to usurp our 30-year reign of highest habitable building, but it was a good run, and it's always a hell of a view from 400-some metres up in the upper deck.

    world's largest coin. 100kg of 999 pure gold, struck at $1M face value, the size of a large pizza.

    not taxed on gambling winnings.

    no death penalty. funny the order these two came to mind.

    cops don't give a shit about a little pot. war on drugs or anything you want to supress is not the best answer. insurgents will always resist.

    i like lots of things about canada! but i'm sure in my faith for her that i needn't dwell on any more reasons why. we're good and honest and fair people, with a physically and culturally awesome nation!
    +++ like a midget at a urinal, i was going to have to stay on my toes +++
    . . . +++ if you can read this, well done you +++ . . .
    +++ and don't call me shirley +++ ...R.I.P. Leslie Nielsen...

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    Sometimes Americans have a nasty habit of trying to jump ahead in the queue so the cars that came flocking towards you were just trying to help keep you in line.

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    i love canadians, i like the beer, i love the hocky, and im glad that they are our neighbors to the north.
    "Courage is the discovery that you may not win, and trying when you know you can lose."
    - Tom Krause


    Gamblers Go Wild Forum

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    ironmike67 is offline Full Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by BingoT View Post
    Your wrong they have the finest French Canadian Girls
    I'll take one before any beer or hockey puck any day of the week.

    French Canadian Girls
    Ok well, she is pretty hot...well add the French Canadian girls to my observations too! haha

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    ironmike67 is offline Full Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by lauriejim View Post
    i love canadians, i like the beer, i love the hocky, and im glad that they are our neighbors to the north.
    I am glad their our neighbors too... I just think that if they have a cutting device in their household, they should cut up their licenses now!

    JUST JOKING...I'LL GIVE THEM ONE MORE CHANCE ON MY NEXT ROAD TRIP!

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