The finest of the "fine print" explained

[SlotsWizard]

Bored, I decided to compile a list of fun sayings, rules, etc. from various online casinos for your viewing pleasure.

Atlantic Lounge - Don't try to mess with their servers:

Our servers are located in highly secured rooms under 24-hour armed surveillance

That's gotta be a boring job, unless there are lots of people trying to break in to their server room.

Cool Cat Casino - In case anyone was wondering why they didn't get paid, it's clearly written in the T&C:

Any winnings made while the account had a positive balance will be forfeited and the deposit will be returned.

By the way, have you ever noticed how rogue casinos always have ambiguous sayings such as the following one currently displayed at Cool Cat:

RoyalTreatment.jpg

New players who get suckered into their site, wanting to gamble, will of course interpret it "the good way", however, the casino's staff and the rest of us know what it really means. Eventually that player will too (and they'll come here to complain about it). Get the "Royal Treatment" at Cool Cat - that couldn't be more accurate.

Joyland Casino

7.4 You hereby warrant and represent to us that you are not classified as a compulsive gambler

Classified by whom? Oneself? Someone else? Is there a manual outlining the criteria for such a classification? And why wouldn't they want compulsive gamblers donating oodles of money to them?

Grand Prive

With Grand Prive companion, you'll always be up to date with whatever is up, hot and happening at any of the illustrious Grand Privé online casinos. Best online casino.

What the heck is up with that? "Best online casino." It reminds me of Kevin Nealon and his Subliminal Commentaries on Saturday Night Live. I know it's there for the search engines, but still. And what's up with the ridiculous and relentless "Make winning beautiful" campaign? Is winning normally ugly? How about a "Make losing beautiful" campaign - that would grab people's attention.

Royal Vegas - from the Frequently Asked Questions

How do I withdraw?
You don't need to withdraw your winnings at the end of each session

Are you serious? I don't have to wait 5 months for a rubber check before I logoff? How convenient!

Okay well I guess that's all... I'm tired now and ought to go to bed. I was hoping to make a big magnificent post like johnsteed used to make but this doesn't even compare. Where is johnsteed anyway?

[AudiManinBoro]

Hilton is NOT a pop star lol Shes a spoilt brat whos living of her fathers name and nothign else!

[Christoff]

How do I withdraw?
You don't need to withdraw your winnings at the end of each session

At least it doesn't say that you can't withdraw your winning at the end of each session!

[kimss]

Cool Cat Casino

Any winnings made while the account had a positive balance will be forfeited and the deposit will be returned.

Ummm.... My brain goes a little numb by reading that statement, it sounds to me that if you accually win more than your deposit unless your very last spin will become void if you try to withdraw. Incredible.

[SlotsWizard]

Ummm.... My brain goes a little numb by reading that statement, it sounds to me that if you accually win more than your deposit unless your very last spin will become void if you try to withdraw. Incredible.

To be fair, I took that sentence out of context. Here is the actual paragraph, completely uncensored:

In cases when the account has a positive balance (any amount over $0), a cash out must be requested before a new deposit is entered. Any winnings made while the account had a positive balance will be forfeited and the deposit will be returned.

[GrandMaster]

I am still wondering what the reason could be for this condition. Was Cool Cat hit by an organised band of bonus hunters depositing money while they had positive balances? It is not the only nonsensical term. Here is another one:
"Bonuses for specific games cannot be used on any other game, not even after having met the wagering requirements. If money is used on a different game(s) then all winnings will be voided."

In other words, if you withdraw and re-deposit, at additional cost to the casino, you can play any game you like, otherwise your winnings will be voided.

Most of these conditions are excuses for the casino to void the players' winnings, which shows what their main concern is.

[SlotsWizard]

I am still wondering what the reason could be for this condition. Was Cool Cat hit by an organised band of bonus hunters depositing money while they had positive balances? It is not the only nonsensical term. Here is another one:
"Bonuses for specific games cannot be used on any other game, not even after having met the wagering requirements. If money is used on a different game(s) then all winnings will be voided."

In other words, if you withdraw and re-deposit, at additional cost to the casino, you can play any game you like, otherwise your winnings will be voided.

Most of these conditions are excuses for the casino to void the players' winnings, which shows what their main concern is.

Indeed, they make no sense. And what exactly do they consider to be a positive balance? Sounds stupid I know, but let's say you bet your last $100 on a hand of blackjack, and were dealt 11 vs. the dealer's 6 (you should double). If you deposit another $100 at this point so that you can double, are you considered to be depositing while you have a positive balance since you haven't technically yet lost the $100 you initially bet?

[kimss]

Most of these conditions are excuses for the casino to void the players' winnings, which shows what their main concern is.

I would very much agree, sounds like bad arguments to void it all. They could use your reasoning for why they did it though, you never know with bandits like this.

The agony... Taking a bonus for Good to Go, wagering $90 and getting all scatters. A cool $20.000 roughly... Then, you forget... And before you rememeber you wagered $1 on "Life's a beach"... Ohh... The agony!

[lojo]

I am still wondering what the reason could be for this condition. Was Cool Cat hit by an organised band of bonus hunters depositing money while they had positive balances? It is not the only nonsensical term. Here is another one:
"Bonuses for specific games cannot be used on any other game, not even after having met the wagering requirements. If money is used on a different game(s) then all winnings will be voided."

In other words, if you withdraw and re-deposit, at additional cost to the casino, you can play any game you like, otherwise your winnings will be voided.

Most of these conditions are excuses for the casino to void the players' winnings, which shows what their main concern is.

As an 'outside' observer, you know damn well Virtual has been hammered.
What came first the chicken or the egg?
So what?
Where does it go from here.

[winbig]

To be fair, I took that sentence out of context. Here is the actual paragraph, completely uncensored:

In cases when the account has a positive balance (any amount over $0), a cash out must be requested before a new deposit is entered. Any winnings made while the account had a positive balance will be forfeited and the deposit will be returned.

So if I have every penny riding on a hand of blackjack, and needed to redeposit to cover a double, any winnings will be void? What a joke...