The Wild Bunch!

[johnsteed]

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GrandMaster

Big Flash still exists as part of All Jackpots, the website was full of wonderful stories suffering from cancer, depression, obesity and anorexia, but magically cured by playing at a flash casino.

Funny enough, this news spreads fast. I had my check-up at the local doctor, and he told me to make 2 deposits at "Wild Jack" and another one over at "AllSlots". I was caught off guard at first, but you know what, the migraines are all gone, my lower back feels brand-spanking new, and even the hemangioma that's been nesting on the top of my right shoulder since birth has amazingly disappeared!

Thanks again Dr. Kim & Jackpot Factory!!!

Steed

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[johnsteed]

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I was going through the no-deposit section over at "BonusRating.com", where I noticed "Joyland Casino" was offering a "FREE" no-deposit bonus.

While they were once offering $10 (up until recently), I noticed that they were now going MUCH higher at $30! AWESOME!


Having signed-up last Friday, and after talking with one of their "trusty" customer support reps., I was told that the bonus would be credited to my account with 24-48 hours time.


After gutting-it-out, dreaming of the endless possibilities of where I was going to take that $30 - namely to the cleaners - I noticed that 72-hours had passed and not-a-word about the bonus. I checked my account... nada. So, chatting-it-up with the very fellow that told me it would be credited to my account in such-a-such-a-time, he then informed me that I would receive the bonus once I made a deposit. Sweet! So it's another one of those no-deposit bonuses that you get for absolutely "FREE", but... you just gotta' make a li'l deposit. No biggie. I thought I'd take a look at the terms & conditions of that very "no-deposit bonus".


I then went on a joyride where I ended-up in "Bonusland" : where dreams can and do come true.

I took-the-time to highlight key points in "pink". This is a wonderful once-in-a-lifetime opportunity that one MUST seize. What's so wonderful about the "no-deposit bonus" that will be credited to your account provided that you give them all of your necessary "personal" information - via VISA/MASTERCARD/ect. - is that you ONLY have to deposit a meager additional €/£/$50 (at least) in order to verify your date-of-birth that somehow isn't provided in the "personal" information details (VISA/MASTERCARD/ect.) that you provided before in order to get the "free no-deposit bonus" in the first place.

Another great detail that you'll find upon further investigating (FUN), is that should you make that 1st deposit bonus that they encourage you to do (teaching us all how to walk for the first time), you'll come to this other T&C, which states "Unless otherwise stated, this offer may not be combined with any other bonuses offered by Joyland Casino." Okay, but it's not 100% clear in the first part of your T&C's concerning the "no-deposit bonus", that it's 100% okay to combine that bonus with the other one. We'll just assume that it's okay... but... hmmm, yeah, I'm sure it's okay!


So, if I'm combining the first "no-deposit bonus" with the 1st deposit bonus that they'll likely add to my account once I make that 1st deposit that I MUST make in order to claim that "no-deposit bonus", the play-through will go from 99 times (no problem), times another 8. So, that's only 792 play-through requirement.

[($30 + $50) x 99] x 8

= $63,360

My numbers could be off, because I can be interpreting this any number of ways. Heck, it may even require a play-through of...

[$30 x 99] x [$50 x 8]

= $1,188,000

Perhaps I'm being unfair on this one. It could be this...

[($30 x 99) + $50] x 8

= $24,160

I guess it all depends on how you look at it. Either way, that's plenty of play-through, which translates to lots of game-play!!! Not bad for a "no-deposit bonus" of a not-too-shabby $30.


Another wonderful point in the T&C, is that "This offer is valid for first time depositors at the casino." How can someone claim the 2nd, 3rd, or 4th deposits as part of the "FREE 4-Part Welcome Bonus" if they can only be depositing for the first time?!


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NeTeller Divided

Scene 4/Act 1

CS: Hello, this is "David" over at NeTeller. How can I help you?

JS: Uh, yeah. I need you to help me make one deposit of $800, but I need you to somehow break that up into 4 $200 shares.

CS: Come again?

JS: I know this sounds strange, but I need...

CS: Sir, perhaps you should call our 24 hour customer service.

JS: I've been waiting for about an hour now, for someone to pick-up.

JS: I just need you to send 1 deposit over to "Joyland", but break-it-down into 4 with somehow NOT separating the money.

CS: Sir, that makes no sense.

JS: I'm just trying to adhere to their rules as best as I can.

CS: Sir, if you'd like you can certainly make 4 separate payments of $200. That could work?

JS: No, it must be one deposit, but once it's in the system, it'll have to divide itself into 4 parts.

CS: That's not possible sir.

JS: Make it happen dammit!!!


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I also find this a tad interesting, where it states "Deposits of a minimum 20 $/€/£ and up qualify for this bonus." That's great, so why must one make a deposit of at least 50 $/€/£ in order to qualify for the "FREE no-deposit bonus"? A 20 $/€/£ (only) deposit somehow leaves out the part about your age?


Still plenty of joy left in this piece.







Sure, fine, "chuchu59" gets left out in the cold again...







Suddenly, what the hell happened to the people from Antigua and Barbuda, Cyprus, Estonia, Indonesia, Israel, Pakistan, Philippines and Thailand?



Thank you "Joyland", for already providing more ups-n-downs than a roller-coaster. It's all good... ahem... pure "joy"!


Steed

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