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Let me preface this by saying that this particular post calls for no responses and will be long and a bit dry. If you are bored by the ramblings of a hopeless gambler, stop now and try this out instead of reading the rest. Next time you are flying somewhere, stop at a random gate and stand in front of someone who is waiting to board a plane. Stare at em, don't say a word. When they ask if they can help you, say to em 'I got a really bad feeling about his flight, sure glad I am not on it.'
Anyways, onward. Casinos love me. I am the type of gambler they try and attract. I give them my money, ask very little in return, and pretty much stick to slots. I am due baby! When I run up a bunch, I figure this gravy train has just started...dynamite would not get me away from the keyboard. 6 hours later I am playing for 9 cents a spin screaming at the monitor,'Freaking rigged software!!!'...I am usually drooling a bit by this time. Oh, and I smoke while I am playing, so the ashtray is usually overflowing and the wife is just raising all kinds of hell.
Well, I have exhausted my meager bankroll and still wanted to play. What's a lad to do? Well, I did some freebie whoring this weekend. Er, all freaking weekend. I usually stick to Microgaming(TM) sites because I love Secret Admirer(Death) and Good to Go(Brutal Death). So, I hit up the Fortune Lounge group and used up the freebies at ALL of their sites first. One of the CR's emailed me and asked why I uninstalled the software, I said I didn't win, he checked my account, agreed that I sucked, and recommended I play for fun. I tried to deposit 6 bones at one of em, the remainder of my Firepay(TM) account and the software sort of scoffed a bit. I think it was laughing.
I considered Jackpot Factory, but seeing as they are rogue, and I already used up all their nice sign up bonuses ( Go figure, cashed out every one of their casinos but don't dare play there anymore. If a dispute comes up, I am sort of on my own and I don't speak Casino very well ), I decided to try my free luck elsewhere.
I got 10 bucks from Zodiac Casino just for registering a credit card which I had no intention of using. I think they knew this. I played What on Earth at 5 cents a spin and went through the whole lot without a bonus. I tried some of the other casinos in their group, but apparently they all talk to one another because they kept wanting me to give them REAL money, which I have none of. Bastards!
I am certain there were several others in there...if you are a rep for an MG casino, and you don't have my information on file, could ya let me know? I am feeling lucky!
So, on to RTG. What I discovered about these casinos is that they are plentiful, love to give massive bonuses, and the games are all pretty much identical! Redeem this coupon code SUCKER108 for a free 108 bucks of which you can cash out 10 percent if you clear the WR of 500X and give us your firstborn. Sounds like a gem to me, where do I sign up? I played em all I think. 10 bucks here, 61 bucks there, 15, 15, 24, 33, so forth and so on. I, erm, didn't win. But, it was fun to gamble like a grand and not actually lose anything. Why is this different than just playing for fun? A real, sick, demented, chain smoking-wife bitching gambler can tell ya. Cause even tho the odds are stacked so brutally against me, there is still a CHANCE I can win something!
I would list all of the RTG's I played at so the knowledgable can point me to any I missed, but I honestly can't remember em all. If I downloaded it and it said 'You have not registered an account at this casino', I figured I was golden.
So, that about covered all of the MG and RTG casinos. I poked around at some truly dreadful ones which gave me free dough...I won't list em because honestly they made so little impression I forgot their names. Bet they remember mine tho...can't wait for the emails.
Oh, speaking of emails...I didn't check mine all weekend. Guess what I saw this morning? Bout 150 mails with my welcome instructions, bonus credits, nude photos of casino managers, and one that I must email to 10 people or I will get bad luck. I truly despise those. I know it is crap, the person who sent it knows, the originator knows. But, being a superstitious person, and a gambler to boot, I delight my freinds by sending them copies of all the ones I get.
So to wrap up a bit. I probably gambled, with playback, 10 grand or so over this free wekend. It cost me a whopping 25 bucks which I deposited at All Slots just for giggles ( erm, busted out quick ). My 6 dollars in my Firepay is still safe and hopefully breeding. In a few months I might be able to make a minimum deposit at an MG site and lose it in 14 seconds. That will always be the dream anyway. But, through all of it, I had a good time. Giggled entirely too much, felt a twinge of guilt at all this free money I was taking ( It occured to me that it wasn't free, and wasn't really money, but at the time I felt like Al Capone ). I am currently using up my last remaining bonus at Slots of Vegas (RTG) on Cleopatras Gold. 208 Spins thus far and no bonus trigger. Alas, it is not my money so I can only feel so bad about tight software...lol.
Anyways, that is it. If I get tagged onto Bryans 'naughty boy' list for gross Bonus/Freebie whoring, it might have been worth it. I had some laughs, got to gamble, lost what little of my ass I have left, and didn't actually hurt anyone finacially, including meself =)
Have fun boys, better luck than I had!!
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Originally Posted by Kosop
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