Newlyweds

[rowmare]

A newlywed couple had only been married for a few weeks. The husband, although very much in love, couldn't wait to get out on the town and party with his old buddies.

So, he said to his new wife, "Honey, I'll be right back."

"Where are you going, coochy-coo...?" asked the wife.

"I'm going to the bar, pretty face, to have a beer."

The wife said, "You want a beer, my love?" She opened the door to the refrigerator and showed him 25 different brands of beers from
12 different countries.

The husband didn't know what to do. The only thing that he could say was, "Yes, but at the bar... you know... they have... frozen mugs."

He hadn't even finished the sentence when his wife interrupted him, saying, "You want a frozen glass, puppy face?" She opened the freezer and handed him a frozen solid mug.

The husband, a little perplexed, said, "Yes, tootsie roll, but at the bar they have those special hors d'oeuvres that are really delicious. I won't be too long. I'll be right back. I promise. OK?"

"You want hors d'oeuvres, poochy poo?" She opened the oven and took out 5 dishes of assorted hors d'oeuvres: spicy chicken wings, pigs in a blanket, fried mushrooms, pork strips, cheese dip, the works.

"But sweetie, at the bar... you know... the guys cuss and swear."

The wife replied, "You want cussing and swearing, cutie pie? "THEN LISTEN UP, DICKHEAD! DRINK YOUR FUCKIN' BEER IN THIS DAMN FROZEN MUG AND EAT YOUR MF'ING SNACKS, BECAUSE YOU AIN'T GOING OUT WITH YOUR SHITHEAD FRIENDS ANYMORE! YOU GOT THAT, ASSHOLE???"