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THE NEW PRIEST
A new priest at his first mass was so scared, he could hardly speak. After the Mass was over he asked the Monsignor how he'd done? The Monsignor said fine, but next time it might help if you put some gin or vodka in your glass to help relax you. The next Sunday the priest put some vodka in his glass and really talked up a storm. After the Mass he asked the Monsignor how he'd done? The Monsignor says fine but there are a few things we need to get straightened out:
1) There are 10 commandments not 12
2) There are 12 disciples not 10
3) David slew Goliath, he did not kick the shit out of him
4) We do not refer to Jesus Christ as the late J.C.
5) Next Sunday there is a taffy pulling contest at St. Peters, not a peter pulling contest at St. Taffy's
6) The Father, Son and the Holy Ghost are not referred to as Big Daddy, Junior, and The Spook
7) They crucified Jesus, they didn't nail his ass to the cross
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28th June 2003, 08:49 AM
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