Christmas Cake

[coldheartedgirl]

Christmas Cake
1 cup of water
1 tsp baking soda
1 cup of sugar
1 tsp salt
1 cup of brown sugar
lemon juice
4 large eggs
1 cup nuts
1 bottle Jose Cuervo Tequila
2 cups dried fruit
Sample the Cuervo to check quality
Take a large bowl, check the Cuervo again to make sure of its quality
Pour one level cup and drink
Turn on the electric mixer
Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl
Add one teaspoon of sugar, mix again
At this point it's best to make sure the Cuervo is still okay, try another cup, just to be sure
Turn off the mixerer thingy
Break 2 eggs and add to the bowl
Chunk in the dried fruit
Pick the friggin fruit up off the floor
Mix on the turner
If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaters, just pry it loose with a drewscriver
Sample the Cuervo for tonsisticity
Next, shift two cups of salt or something, who gives a $%^$$$$^$#
Check the Cuervo
Now shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts
Add one table
Add a spoon of sugar or somefing
Whatever you can find
Gresh the oven
Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall over
Don't forget to beat off the turner
Finally throw the bowl through the window
Finish the Cuervo and kick the cat
Cherry Mistmas

[gamblinboi]

LOL