Five Levels of Hangovers:

[BingoT]

Five Levels of Hangovers:

One Star Hangover (*)
No pain. No real feeling of illness. You're able to function relatively well. However, you are still parched. You can drink 5 cokes and still feel this way. For some reason, you are craving a steak & fries.

Two Star Hangover (**)
No pain, but something is definitely amiss. You may look okay, but you have the mental capacity of a staple gun. The coffee you are chugging is only increasing your rumbling gut, which is still tossing around the fruity pancake from the 3:00 AM Waffle House excursion. There is some definite havoc being wreaked upon your bowels.

Three Star Hangover (***)
Slight headache, stomach feels crappy. You are definitely not productive. Anytime a girl walks by you gag because her perfume reminds you of the flavored schnapps shots your alcoholic friends dared you to drink. Life would be better right now if you were home in your bed watching Lucy reruns. You've had 4 cups of coffee, a gallon of water, 3 iced teas and a diet Coke--yet you haven't peed once.

Four Star Hangover (****)
Life sucks. Your head is throbbing. You can't speak too quickly or else you might puke. Your boss has already lambasted you for being late and has given you a lecture for reeking of booze. You wore nice clothes, but that can't hide the fact that you only shaved one side of your face. For the ladies, it looks like you put your make-up on while riding the bumper cars. Your eyes look like one big red vein, and even your hair hurts. Your ass is in perpetual spasm, and the first of about five shits you take during the day brings water to the eyes of everyone who enters the bathroom.

Five Star Hangover (*****)
You have a second heartbeat in your head, which is actually annoying the employee who sits in the next cube. Vodka vapor is seeping out of every pore and making you dizzy. You still have toothpaste crust in the corners of your mouth from brushing your teeth in an attempt to get the remnants of the poop fairy out. Your body has lost the ability to generate spit so your tongue is suffocating you. You don't have the foggiest idea who the hell the stranger was passed out in your bed this morning. Any attempt to take a dump results in a fire hose like discharge of alcohol-scented fluid with a rare 'Floater' thrown in. The sole purpose of this 'Floater' seems to be to splash the toilet water all over your ass. Death sounds pretty good about right now...
*****


THINGS THAT ARE DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN YOU'RE DRUNK:
Indubitably; Innovative; Preliminary; Proliferation; Cinnamon
*****

THINGS THAT ARE VERY DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN YOU'RE DRUNK:
Specificity; British Constitution; Passive-aggressive disorder; Loquacious; Transubstantiate
*****

THINGS THAT ARE DOWNRIGHT IMPOSSIBLE TO SAY WHEN YOU'RE DRUNK :
1.) Thanks, but I don't want to have sex.
2.) Nope, no more booze for me.
3.) Sorry, but you're not really my type.
4.) Good evening officer isn't it lovely out tonight.
5.) Oh, I just couldn't. No one wants to hear me sing.
6.) Sorry I'm being such a jackass.

[DakWinner]

BT - On Five Star Level - You forgot dry heaves. When you want to throw up but can't.

[lojo]

Wel... there are ten stars too. Wanna know what an idiot I am? About ten years ago I was on a months long spree and some idiot said 'any fool can drink himself to death' and I said "I ain't no fool'. So to prove I ain't a fool I drank 100 cans of beer without sleeping and without any other drugs.. maybe a pot or two of coffee. Now that I know I'm not a fool, because I couldn't drink myself to death, I know I was an idiot.

And I'm never going to be leaving las vegas.

[happygobrokey]

andre the giant drank a hundred beers once (or maybe more than once) plus had a bottle of wine with his dinner. bill 'the fox' foster (you'd know him from the man show) regularly drank 30+ beers nightly at his bar while performing rude songs.

[lauriejim]

Originally Posted by DakWinner

BT - On Five Star Level - You forgot dry heaves. When you want to throw up but can't.

oh gosh, i forgot about that one , nothing worse than hanging your head over the toilet with the dry heaves and your wishing for this

[BingoT]

dry heaves logo

[DakWinner]

Yes, the ole Tequila will knock you out. I had three shots one night with a couple of beers. That is all it took, I made it back home but not out of the bathroom. I had a golf tournament the next day early but I wasn't going to go. My golf partner came over, got me up, and made me go. It took me a couple of hours to start feeling normal. Needless, to say we didn't win but I had fun at the tournament.