Guy jokes one of my Grils sent me.We Guys Rule Don't forget it

[BingoT]

Typical macho man married typical good-looking lady and after the
wedding, he laid down the following rules:

"I'll be home when I want, if I want and at what time I want and I
don't expect any hassle from you. I expect a great dinner to be on the
table unless I tell you that I won't be home ! for dinner. I'll go
hunting, fishing, boozing and card-playing when I want with my old
buddies and don't you give me a hard time about it. Those are my rules.
Any comments?"

His new bride said, "No, that's fine with me. Just understand that
there will be sex here at seven o'clock every night .....whether you're
here or not."

(DAMN SHE'S GOOD!)
************************************
Marriage Part II

Husband and wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of their 40th wedding
anniversary!
The husband yells, "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that
reads: "Here Lies My Wife - Cold As Ever "

"Yeah?" she replies. "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that
reads: "Here Lies My Husband - Stiff At Last"

(HE ASKED FOR IT!)

******************************
Marriage Part III
Husband (a doctor) and his wife are having a fight at the breakfast
table.
Husband gets up in a rage and says, "And you are no good in bed either,"
And storms out of the house.

After some time, he realizes he was nasty and decides to make amends
and rings her up. She comes to the phone after many rings, and the
irritated husband says, "What took you so long to answer the phone?"

She says, "I was in bed."

"In bed this early, doing what?"

"Getting a second opinion!"

(YEP, HE HAD THAT ONE COMING, TOO!)
******************************************
Marriage Part IV

A man has six children and is very proud of his achievement.

He is so proud of himself, that he starts calling his wife, "Mother of
Six"
in spite of her objections.

One night, they go to a party. The man decides that it's time to go
home and wants to find out if his wife is ready to leave as well.

He shouts at the top of his voice, "Shall we go home 'Mother of Six?'

His wife, irritated by her husband's lack of discretion, shouts right
back, "Anytime you're ready, Father of Four."

(RIGHT ON, LADY!)
**************************************
Marriage Part V - The Silent Treatment

A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving
each other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realized that the
next day, he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 am for an early
morning business flight.

Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote
on a piece of paper, "Please wake me at 5:00 am" He left it where he
knew she would find it.

The next morning the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and
he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and see why his
wife hadn't wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed.
The paper said, "It is 5:00 AM. Wake up."

Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests.

[patrina]

Hilarious Tom, started my day with a smile, thanks.

[BingoT]

Patrina you know when it comes to You I would do anything.
And You too make my day and everyday when I see you.
So how about that date lol
Love ya

[tim5ny]

Originally Posted by BingoT

Patrina you know when it comes to You I would do anything.
And You too make my day and everyday when I see you.
So how about that date lol
Love ya

Ouch Tom! Did that hurt? I mean,....you're braver than I am for sure. I would never have the courage to emasculate myself like that!

ps. I'll fill you in on all the details of her fine legs etc. once I get back!

[BingoT]

Originally Posted by tim5ny

Ouch Tom! Did that hurt? I mean,....you're braver than I am for sure. I would never have the courage to emasculate myself like that!

ps. I'll fill you in on all the details of her fine legs etc. once I get back!

lol Too funny Tim5ny
Patrina knows me by now
Shhhhhhhh don't tell my wife.
And I will say it again
I Love Your Legs Patrina & You too

[tim5ny]

Originally Posted by BingoT

lol Too funny Tim5ny
Patrina knows me by now
Shhhhhhhh don't tell my wife.
And I will say it again
I Love Your Legs Patrina & You too

I'll never tell your wife Tom as long as you share. There's enough leg there to keep us both happy. (Didn't mean that in a bad way either Patrina... so don't go gettin anorexic on us. )

ps. I know how lonely women can get, so when you're in Canada with Patrina, I can offer to babysit your wife if you'd like. I'd hate to think of her being all alone while you're out in the trenches doin battle with killer legs.

[kakata]

Maria how come you always right about the weather? You always put your laundry outside in sunny days and never on rainy ones.
Well I ll tell you my secret>
Every morning, while my husband is still asleep, I take his penis within my fingers, than I let it go.
If it falls to the right it will be a sunny day otherwise to the left it will be a rainy one.
What if it stay straight? the friend ask.
In that remote case,Do you think I would care about the laundry ?

[BingoT]

Originally Posted by tim5ny

I'll never tell your wife Tom as long as you share. There's enough leg there to keep us both happy. (Didn't mean that in a bad way either Patrina... so don't go gettin anorexic on us. )

ps. I know how lonely women can get, so when you're in Canada with Patrina, I can offer to babysit your wife if you'd like. I'd hate to think of her being all alone while you're out in the trenches doin battle with killer legs.

lol that is great
I hate to say this but I can't share I only have the best on my side and they are all mine lol
Boy Patrina is very lucky I don't live near her I would'nt have to type in this thread.
My wife knows who I talk to on here and she knows me very well too.
But if Patrina comes to Ct I will be happy to tell you so you can take my wife off my hands for sometime.

[patrina]

Geesh Guys, I am getting embarrassed, maybe I should get rid of that pic. I will get my daughter to take another i think. Anyway, and to think I just went to the doctors and back. Now I see why the women dont want to put up their pics.
p.s. I know it's only in fun by the way and the attention is okay too, but dont let it get to out of hand!
p.s. again, Hey I just realized I'm now a senior member!!! I will go celebrate now and have a cupcake.

[BingoT]

Happy Cupcake
Senior Member
Oh yes we all need to have fun.and this place is the best.
Thanks CM