- Joined
- Dec 16, 2004
- Location
- Palm Bay Florida
A new supermarket has an automatic water mister to keep the produce fresh. Just before it goes on, you hear the sound of a thunderstorm and the smell of fresh rain.
When you approach the milk case, you hear the cows mooing.
When you approach the egg case, you hear hens cackle and smell eggs frying.
So far I have been too afraid to go down the toilet-paper aisle.
--------------------Joke2----------
Wedded Bliss............
A little boy asked his father,
"Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?"
Father replied, "I don't know, son, I'm still
paying."
------------------------------------------
At a cocktail party, one woman said to another,
"Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the
wrong finger?"
"Yes, I am, because I married the wrong man."
---------------------------------------------
When a woman steals your husband,
there is no better revenge than to let her
keep him.
-------------------------------------
A woman is incomplete until she is married.
Then she is finished.
-------------------------------------------
A little boy asked his father,
"Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?"
Father replied, "I don't know, son, I'm still
paying."
---------------------------------------------
A young son asked,
"Is it true, Dad, that in some parts of Africa
a man doesn't know his wife until he marries
her?"
Dad replied, "That happens in every country,
son."
-----------------------------------------------
Then there was a woman who said,
"I never knew what real happiness was until I
got married, and by then, it was too late."
---------------------------------------------------
If you want your spouse to listen and
pay strict attention to every word you say --
talk in your sleep.
--------------------------------------------
Just think, if it wasn't for marriage, men would
go through life thinking they had no faults at all.
------------------------------------------------
A Woman's Prayer
Dear Lord, I pray for Wisdom, to understand a man ,
to love and to forgive him,
and for Patience, for his moods. Because, Lord, if
I pray for Strength, I'll just beat him to death.
_______________Joke 3________
Situation
You are on a horse, galloping at a constant speed. On your right
side is a sharp drop off, and on your left side is an elephant
traveling at the same speed as you. Directly in front of you is what
appears to be a galloping kangaroo and your horse is unable to overtake
it. Behind you is a lion running at the same speed as the Kangaroo.
What must you do to safely get out of this highly dangerous
situation?
Think about it...
If you do not know, see answer below.
Get your drunk ass off the merry-go-round!
When you approach the milk case, you hear the cows mooing.
When you approach the egg case, you hear hens cackle and smell eggs frying.
So far I have been too afraid to go down the toilet-paper aisle.
--------------------Joke2----------
Wedded Bliss............
A little boy asked his father,
"Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?"
Father replied, "I don't know, son, I'm still
paying."
------------------------------------------
At a cocktail party, one woman said to another,
"Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the
wrong finger?"
"Yes, I am, because I married the wrong man."
---------------------------------------------
When a woman steals your husband,
there is no better revenge than to let her
keep him.
-------------------------------------
A woman is incomplete until she is married.
Then she is finished.
-------------------------------------------
A little boy asked his father,
"Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?"
Father replied, "I don't know, son, I'm still
paying."
---------------------------------------------
A young son asked,
"Is it true, Dad, that in some parts of Africa
a man doesn't know his wife until he marries
her?"
Dad replied, "That happens in every country,
son."
-----------------------------------------------
Then there was a woman who said,
"I never knew what real happiness was until I
got married, and by then, it was too late."
---------------------------------------------------
If you want your spouse to listen and
pay strict attention to every word you say --
talk in your sleep.
--------------------------------------------
Just think, if it wasn't for marriage, men would
go through life thinking they had no faults at all.
------------------------------------------------
A Woman's Prayer
Dear Lord, I pray for Wisdom, to understand a man ,
to love and to forgive him,
and for Patience, for his moods. Because, Lord, if
I pray for Strength, I'll just beat him to death.
_______________Joke 3________
Situation
You are on a horse, galloping at a constant speed. On your right
side is a sharp drop off, and on your left side is an elephant
traveling at the same speed as you. Directly in front of you is what
appears to be a galloping kangaroo and your horse is unable to overtake
it. Behind you is a lion running at the same speed as the Kangaroo.
What must you do to safely get out of this highly dangerous
situation?
Think about it...
If you do not know, see answer below.
Get your drunk ass off the merry-go-round!
