Speeding

[andyhinckley]

While I was driving down the motorway the other day, (going a little faster
than
I should have been) I passed under a bridge only to see a copper on the
other side with a radar gun laying in wait. The copper pulled me over,
walked up to the car, and with that classic patronising smirk, asked:

"Runway too short?"

To which I replied, "I'm late for work."

To which he asked, "What do you do?"

"I'm a rectum stretcher," I responded.

The copper was surprised and confused. "A what? A rectum stretcher?? And
just what does a rectum stretcher do?"

"Well," I said, "I start by inserting one finger, then I work my way up
to
two fingers, then three, then four, then with my whole hand in, work side
to
side until I can get both hands in, and then I slowly but surely stretch
the
hole, until it's about 6 feet."

Then the copper asked questioningly and cautiously, "And just what do you
do
with a six-foot arsehole?"

To which I politely replied, "You give him a radar gun and park him
behind a
bridge..."

Speeding ticket: 105.00

Court costs: 45

Look on copper's face: Priceless.

 

[MissDevil]

I always loved that one...

or What's 500 feet long and has an arsehole at both ends?

A Police Radar Trap