Casinomeister's Newsletter
2 June 2005
Issue #234

Dear Reader,

Yeah, I'm back. I've got my sleeves rolled up and both feet planted firmly on the ground. Time to get back to work; it's tough but someone's got to do it. Robots are cool, but sometimes they get a little whack-o.

Ass-kickingly yours,


In this issue:
  • Word From the Meister

  • Casinos You Gotta Join

  • This week's humor

  • Can't read this newsletter in HTML? Click here (or copy and paste this link into your browser): /newsletter.html#skip for the bitchin' online version.

    Far-freaking-out!! Yep, that's right. Casinomeister has been entertaining the cyber-public for seven successful years this month! And to celebrate, there will be a myriad of things going on. This will include exclusive promotions that will be a real blast, new casinos, and all sorts of really cool stuff. Hang tight and let the ride begin!

    And speaking of rides, I just got back from my California road trip. Man, it was nice visiting the homeland - a little stressy - but good. It seemed as though I spent most of my time in traffic. I visited 14 family members and friends in 18 days in four separate locations - San Diego, Orange County, Lake Isabella, and Monterey. The traffic sucked, but the visits and the beach were very nice.

    And no I didn't go to Compton, like some people imagined. Nothing there for me. But I'm sure if I did, I'd have a smashing time.

    Time at the beach - mostly at Mission Beach in San Diego - and there is nothing like the Pacific Ocean. If you are really into surfing - or body surfing - it's the place to be. The smell of the kelp, the cold ass water, the swelling beach surf. Nothing like the homeland - I miss it already.

    But anyway, what good is a vacation without contemplating one's work? Like what the heck is Casinomeister all about? I pretty much put the site on autopilot with Vortran in charge while I was away. He did a pretty good job, but I read his newsletters - man, his jokes SUCK! I also received complaints from some readers who thought the same thing. Sorry Vortran, next time I'll make sure you are boned up on some jovial jocularities.

    And what's up with the reading assignments? Obviously Vortran thought it would be funny to keep you busy while I was away. He stated that there would be a "reading comprehension test" upon my return. I guess he thought I was still teaching English at San Diego Community College. Oh well, I guess I'll oblige him. There were three articles to read:
    Article 1: Is it possible to be dyslexic in Chinese?
    Article 2: What does "OK" stand for?
    Article 3: Why do cartoon characters only have three fingers?
    (yeah, I know, I know - these have nothing to do with online casinos. They only deal with serious pedestrian issues that affect most anyone).

    After reading article 1, please answer the following.
    1. What percent of English speakers are dyslexic?
    2. Can you be dyslexic in two languages.

    Article 2 Questions:
    1. What does OK stand for?
    2. When did it find itself first in print?

    Article 3 Questions:
    1. Why do cartoon characters only have three fingers?
    2. How many frames-per-second did Hanna-Barbera cartoons have in the 1960s (Flintstones, Jetsons, Huckleberry Hooouund Dawg, etc.)?

    Extra Credit
    Download Platinum Play Casino open a real account and tell me what game has three bikini butts.

    Email your answers to Only correct answers will suffice. Vortran will choose an entry at random and that person will immediately receive $75 in their Neteller account! Remember only correct answers count. Deadline is Monday 6 June 12pm Central European Time.

    Well Golden Palace has done it again. But this time many people, mostly webmasters, think they have taken their guerilla marketing a bit too far. They are claiming that a New Jersey couple have auctioned off the rights to their baby's name on eBay. Golden Palace snagged this up for $15,000 and in turn the parents named their boy "Goldenpalacedotcom Silverman". Golden Palace placed a happy clappy article on their website detailing this joyful experience, and even produced a portion of the baby's birth certificate showing the name.

    This caused a flurry in the message boards. Some posters thought that this was akin to child abuse and child exploitation and that GP has finally gone too far. Others were not so outraged and felt that there are worse evils in the world. But one thing is for sure, GP is getting some attention.

    But how much attention? Funny thing is that no New Jersey newspapers have picked up on the story - as far as I can tell. Also, I found some oddities in the "Birth Certificate" that was posted on their site. And I begin to wonder, did this happen at all? Sure the eBay auction happened. You can check it out here. But just because something happens at eBay doesn't mean it really happened.

    So what happened? Who knows? Lest we forget, the Kahnawake Gaming Commission reprimanded GP for their irresponsible crashing of last summer's Olympic swim event in Athens.

    From KGC's news section:
    In the past two weeks, the Kahnawake Gaming Commission (KGC) has received numerous complaints concerning an incident at the Olympic Games in Athens involving a person who ‘streaked’ an event displaying the name of one of the KGC’s permit holders: Golden Palace.

    The KGC did not approve or condone the incident in question and does not approve or condone this type of ‘marketing’ by its permit holders.

    After investigating the Athens incident and meeting with representatives of Golden Palace, the KGC has directed that:

    1. Golden Palace will not use, promote, encourage or fund this type of ‘marketing’ ever again...
    Both Golden Palace and Kahnawake Gaming Commission have remained silent to my inquiries, and I am waiting for someone to verify the baby naming with the New Jersey State Vital Records Office. Until then, I'm not convinced that this even happened.

    If it didn't happen - good. No babies exploited here. Just a load of manipulative BS. But if it did happen - not so good. Babies should not be used as a marketing ploy for people to gamble. And if GP has taken this route, it only goes to show that their marketers don't give a damn about this industry or anyone who works in it. US Senator Kyle has more ammo to convince his colleagues to ban online gambling for US players.
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    And now for the humor......
    A very shy guy goes into a bar and sees a beautiful woman sitting at the other end. After an hour of gathering up his courage he finally goes over to her and asks, tentatively, "Um, would you mind if I chatted with you for a while?" To which she responds by yelling, at the top of her lungs, "No, I won't sleep with you tonight!"

    By now, the entire bar is staring at them. Naturally, the guy is hopelessly and completely embarrassed and he slinks back to his table. After a few minutes, the woman walks over to him and apologizes. She smiles at him and says, "I'm sorry if I embarrassed you. You see, I'm a graduate student in psychology and I'm studying how people respond to embarrassing situations." To which he responds, at the top of his lungs, "What do you mean $200!"

    Ha ha ha ha!

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    Complaints? Kudos? Please let me know.

    Bryan Bailey