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You find the craziest things...

Discussion in 'The Attic' started by ed skull murphy, Jan 29, 2018.

    Jan 29, 2018
  1. ed skull murphy

    ed skull murphy 30 day suspension - trollish behavior

    Occupation:
    N/A
    Location:
    Albion
    ... when walking home from the pub.

    When I lived in Amsterdam, it would be a fairly regular occurence to rouse from one's slumber on a sunday afternoon, and think "WTF is that!", upon finding some foreign object in the middle of the living room... and then it slowly dawns on you that you dragged that thing half a mile back home after a visit to the pub, or balanced it on the back of the bike.

    Yucca plants, bits of wood or metal or glass, furniture, tv sets, chairs, you name it, if it piqued my interest, I would drag it home after an ale or two.

    Last week in the middle of the night, not far from my house, back in Albion, there was a stunning aluminium framed mountain bike stood by the recycling centre, unlocked and ready to go.

    Twenty years ago, I would have just hopped on it and ridden it home, but now, with the mellowing that comes with maturity, I reasoned that it had either been parked there in good faith by some gullible muppet of an owner, or else it had been stolen and abandoned, and rather than steal it, I pushed it back behind the bottle bank to hide it from someone less scrupulous.

    Just ten minutes ago, I found a huge sheet of plate glass, bloody heavy, but worth dragging home.

    That is going to be the lid on my cold frame this Spring, it should make for a perfect environment for my tobacco plants, etc.

    I love finding free stuff. :)
     
    Last edited: Jan 29, 2018
    zellie, adamtheaddict, Borgie and 2 others like this.
  2. Jan 29, 2018
  3. Steviedoo

    Steviedoo Senior Member

    Occupation:
    Writer
    Location:
    South
    Tobacco plants....is that what we're calling it...lol
     
  4. Jan 29, 2018
  5. ed skull murphy

    ed skull murphy 30 day suspension - trollish behavior

    Occupation:
    N/A
    Location:
    Albion
    Well, I'll be putting the cannabis plants and opium poppies in there as well. :)
     
    Zepher and Steviedoo like this.
  6. Jan 29, 2018
  7. DreamRJ

    DreamRJ Out of this world! MM webmeister

    Occupation:
    Gamble
    Location:
    RJVille UK
    So in essence your kinda a thief. in the Netherlands. A lot of people do not lock their bikes. Because there is far to many anyway. Also bike crime theft is low in the Netherlands anyway.

    As for the other things you find. as long as they are in places that are no where near houses etc etc then I suppose it isn't as bad.

    I know a bit about the Netherlands because I have a close friend who lives their.
     
  8. Jan 29, 2018
  9. dunover

    dunover Unofficial T&C's Editor CAG PABnononaccred PABnonaccred PABinit mm3 webmeister

    Occupation:
    International Money Launderer
    Location:
    the bus shelter, opposite GCHQ Benhall

    You watched too much Steptoe and Son when younger.
     
  10. Jan 29, 2018
  11. geordiecolin

    geordiecolin Senior Member CAG PABnononaccred mm4

    Occupation:
    Manager
    Location:
    West Sussex
    I recall finding a ladies wig on the way home from the pub which was obviously a part of a party costume. It was quite near Christmas and this wig was very long and rivalled Tina Turners in volume. Anyhoo an Eastern European women I knew thought it was amazing despite its obvious fakeness so she decided to wear it in all seriousness as part of her outfit to attend two Christmas Parties. It was comical watching her preening herself with it thinking it made her look attractive and the weirdest thing was that she was quite attractive with her own hair
     
  12. Jan 29, 2018
  13. adamtheaddict

    adamtheaddict Senior Member

    Occupation:
    fruits
    Location:
    Kent
    Was the eastern european's name Coleen by any chance?
    By the sounds of it, she was also lucky she hadn't smoked one to many spliffs and fell asleep in a park late in the evening if she ever went to amsterdam
     
    Renee_RA and geordiecolin like this.
  14. Jan 29, 2018
  15. geordiecolin

    geordiecolin Senior Member CAG PABnononaccred mm4

    Occupation:
    Manager
    Location:
    West Sussex
    I can't recall her name at the moment but I do recall her friend who was utterly stunning :p
     
    adamtheaddict likes this.
  16. Jan 29, 2018
  17. adamtheaddict

    adamtheaddict Senior Member

    Occupation:
    fruits
    Location:
    Kent
    Lol. smooth reply
     
  18. Jan 29, 2018
  19. Steviedoo

    Steviedoo Senior Member

    Occupation:
    Writer
    Location:
    South

    He left the bike. He didn't take it.
     
  20. Jan 29, 2018
  21. ed skull murphy

    ed skull murphy 30 day suspension - trollish behavior

    Occupation:
    N/A
    Location:
    Albion
    Utter tosh, I lived there for fifteen years and I can assure you that you need the toughest German locks on the market, and you need to secure the frame and front wheel to something immovable, such as a bridge or a road sign, otherwise it will be gone in five minutes, in the cities, at least. I can only imagine your friend must live in a small farming community.
    No, not at all, I was doing the local council a favour by removing the glass from the street.
     
  22. Jan 29, 2018
  23. ed skull murphy

    ed skull murphy 30 day suspension - trollish behavior

    Occupation:
    N/A
    Location:
    Albion
    Funny you should say that, Daz, my Mum's family came from North Kensington, she was born on Latimer Rd, and I later worked at the big scrap recycling yard on Scrubs Lane, I used to deal with Steptoe types every day... salt of the earth. :)
     
  24. Jan 29, 2018
  25. Zepher

    Zepher Experienced Member

    Occupation:
    Programmer
    Location:
    East Midlands - UK
    :cool: You are the type of person I like!

    Well, obviously. Why the hell not. I have some poppies growing in my greenhouse right now ;)
    (PS: @UK East Midlands Police: You'll never find it. It is NOT in my property :p ) :laugh:

    This made me laugh more than it should have done. :D

    Thanks for the awesome laughs in one thread. Cheered my day right up!
     
    geordiecolin and ed skull murphy like this.
  26. Jan 29, 2018
  27. ed skull murphy

    ed skull murphy 30 day suspension - trollish behavior

    Occupation:
    N/A
    Location:
    Albion
    Under common law, you have a right to grow whatever you like for personal use, it's only when someone tries to bring controlled substances into the public, for commercial gain, that they are risking a conviction.
    In one appartment building I lived at, in Amsterdam, there was a young guy living in the basement, he was the nephew of the landlord, and he had gone a little bit off the rails. His parents had been around to help him sort himself out, and they threw a whole load of his junk out on the street, including an inflatable doll, I kid you not.

    Well, a group of us set off to the pub that evening, and on the way out we spotted this 'thing', so we pumped her up with a bike pump and took her out for a drink with us... well actually, we lost our bottle at the end of the street, and finally left her sitting astride the motorcycle of a French tourist who was staying in a hotel on our street. :)
     
    Last edited: Jan 29, 2018
    Zepher, Renee_RA and geordiecolin like this.
  28. Jan 29, 2018
  29. goatwack

    goatwack enthused hangman CAG

    Occupation:
    Turns Tricks
    Location:
    Londonia
    This thread is a right party pooper. Imagine for a moment having to tell those two Chinese employees of mine in the attic that their 'light supervisory' skills will no longer be needed for my.......plants :mad:

    Still, that electric bill was going through the roof :eek:
     
    Last edited: Jan 29, 2018
    ed skull murphy and geordiecolin like this.
  30. Jan 29, 2018
  31. ed skull murphy

    ed skull murphy 30 day suspension - trollish behavior

    Occupation:
    N/A
    Location:
    Albion
    Get yourself a greenhouse, Goatie, after the initial expense, it's free.

    I bought mine second hand, it's the largest size from Halls, for £100. :)
     
    goatwack likes this.
  32. Jan 29, 2018
  33. geordiecolin

    geordiecolin Senior Member CAG PABnononaccred mm4

    Occupation:
    Manager
    Location:
    West Sussex
    Talking about Amsterdam and attics.
    Some time ago we moved into a very old cottage in the Countryside. In the attic I found a very old painting and a violin. When we took them for an evaluation we where delighted to be informed that one was a Van Gogh and the other was a Stradivarius :)

    " Unfortunately Van Gogh was awful at making violins and Stadivarius could not paint for love nor money" :(
     
    Last edited: Jan 29, 2018

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