women hating (sorry!)

[Jim Laws]

What do you tell a woman with two black eyes ? NOTHING, you already told her twice. !!
How many men does it take to change a kitchen lightbulb ? None, let the bitch do the dishes in the dark !!

 

[Anonymous]

Ouch! You MAY get some feedback from that one.(hehe)

 

[The Dude]

Ouch! Don't think I'll publish that one in my newsletter since most of my subscribers seem to be female!

~b

 

[Clarence]

Top 10 rejection lines given by Men
(and what they actually mean...)


10. I think of you as a sister.
(You're ugly.)


9. There's a slight difference in our ages.
(You're ugly.)


8. I'm not attracted to you in 'that' way.
(You're ugly.)


7. My life is too complicated right now.
(You're ugly.)


6. I've got a girlfriend.
(You're ugly.)


5. I don't date women where I work.
(You're ugly.)


4. It's not you, it's me.
(You're ugly.)


3. I'm concentrating on my career.
(You're ugly.)


2. I'm celibate.
(You're ugly.)


1. Let's be friends.
(Youre ugly.)

 

[ih8hank]

lmao u guys are funny

ok i dont believe in all that political correct BS so im gonna post a woman bashing joke cause i think its funny as hell.....hey im an aussie chick i can take it as good as i can give lmao

WOMAN- A CHEMICAL ANALYSIS - HAZARDOUS MATERIAL

MATERIAL SAFETY DATA SHEET

ELEMENT: Woman

SYMBOL: WO

DISCOVERER: Adam

ATOMIC MASS: Accepted as 118 lbs., but known to vary from 100 to 500 lbs.

OCCURRENCE: Copious quantities in all urban areas.

PHYSICAL PROPERTIES:

1. Surface usually covered with painted film.

2. Boils at nothing, freezes without reason.

3. Melts if given special treatment.

4. Bitter if incorrectly used.

5. Found in various states ranging from virgin metal to common ore.

6. Yields to pressure applied to correct points.

CHEMICAL PROPERTIES:

1. Have a great affinity for gold, silver, platinum, and precious stones.

2. Absorbs great quantities of expensive substances.

3. May explode spontaneously without warning and for no reason.

4. Insoluble in liquids, but activity is improved by saturation in alcohol.

5. Most Powerful money-reducing agent known to man.

COMMON USES:

1. Highly ornamental, especially in sports cars.

2. Can be great aid to relaxtion.

TEST:

1. Pure specimen turns to rosy pink when discovered in the natural state.

2. Turns green when placed beside a better specimen.

HAZARDS:

1. Highly dangerous, exept in experienced hands.

2. Illegal, not to mention highly dangerous, to possess more than one.

 

[wigando]

Jewish woman

You hear about the Jewish woman who was a nymphomaniac? She had to have sex almost every month.

 

[-z-]

A man frees a genie from a bottle and the genie grants him a wish for letting him out.

The man thought for a minute and says, "I've always wanted to see Hawaii but never have because I'm afraid to fly and boats make me sick. I want a highway so I can drive to Hawaii." The genie rubs his jaw and says, "The pilings for the highway would have to reach all the way to the bottom of the ocean and what about migrating whales, No, I don't think I can do that. You'll have to wish for something else."

So the man thinks again for a minute and says, "I know! I want to understand women. What do they want? Why don't they make any sense? What makes them tick?"

The genie stared at him for a moment and then says,
"So, do you want two lanes or four?"