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Who`s up for a party?:).

Discussion in 'The Attic' started by Seventh777, Jul 12, 2012.

    Jul 12, 2012
  1. Seventh777

    Seventh777 RIP Roy

    Occupation:
    Builder, mainly renovations.
    Location:
    Planet Tharg, dark side, where nothing grows.
    I`m sitting here incredibly bored and really cba to have a gamble atm, soooooooooo, I thought it might be fun to have a fora type party, come in get drunk/stoned whatever and let your hair down ;).

    As with any party a specific theme can make it a whole heap more fun, fancy dress although great fun (Mmm French Maids, Naughty Nurses, Sexy Secretary outfits, it`s great when the girls dress up also :eek2:) wouldn`t work here, but, what will however, is - Your most embarrassing story ever, if this works and the night goes on with stories getting more and more outrageous by the minute upto the extent that when people read what they revealed in a few days time they will be cringing for a very long time to come, including me, if, there is enough input for me to step forward and reveal mine, which I will nigh on guarantee will not be beaten, not even close, but that however is entirely down to you guys and your stories.

    So come on guys let the party begin ;).
     
    1 person likes this.
  2. Jul 12, 2012
  3. immortality

    immortality Senior Member

    Occupation:
    Mother
    Location:
    On a seat
    Well I have been painting all day, after winning £700+ in the past week, so I treated myself to new clothes for myself and kids, paint for the living room and a few more nice things :D So I'm ready for a drink, phew;) :cool:
     
    4 people like this.
  4. Jul 12, 2012
  5. secret2

    secret2 irishbrit62 MM

    Occupation:
    driver
    Location:
    New York, United States
    Seventh?...Did you just have a series of Testosterone shots??:D

    I'll share mine later, after everyone elses's... at the weekend after a couple of 'nips'.

    Geezez, Beth? YOU did this to him!...YOU and your ABBA boots an' all! lol!:notworthy
     
    2 people like this.
  6. Jul 12, 2012
  7. Seventh777

    Seventh777 RIP Roy

    Occupation:
    Builder, mainly renovations.
    Location:
    Planet Tharg, dark side, where nothing grows.
    That`s the spirit girls :thumbsup:, i`ll start us off with a very close friends story (yep we do this a lot around here especially when bored at work etc ;)).

    He was around 18-19 and had just finished work on a Friday and came home to an empty house, had a shower and was lying on his bed with just a towel wrapped around him, he reached for his headphones and pressed play on his CD-Player and Luther Vandross came on, the same CD he had been listening to a few nights previously when he had brought home a very accommodating and none shy Essex lass (do shy ones exist?), anyway`s there he is listening to Luther, eyes closed, being reminded of his great night of passion from a few days ago, and done what comes naturally (pardon the pun), lying there for a while until the CD finished and opening his eyes to change the CD, and almost screaming upon noticing a hot cup of tea beside his HI-FI.

    How many mum`s would have just closed the bedroom door and not left the tea there lol?, not her, she was and still is to this day a terrific woman with a fantastic sense of humour ;).
     
    3 people like this.
  8. Jul 12, 2012
  9. Seventh777

    Seventh777 RIP Roy

    Occupation:
    Builder, mainly renovations.
    Location:
    Planet Tharg, dark side, where nothing grows.
    I`m disappointed, not many stories appearing :(.
     
  10. Jul 12, 2012
  11. harrys99

    harrys99 Dormant account

    Occupation:
    Bar Business/Office Management
    Location:
    Wherever I Want
    It's still early Roy.(here anyway:p) I think my brain works better on these things on Friday nights-but I'll keep thinking anyway and bump you up:D
     
    3 people like this.
  12. Jul 13, 2012
  13. secret2

    secret2 irishbrit62 MM

    Occupation:
    driver
    Location:
    New York, United States
    It ain't the weekend, yet! We, "the girls", are not free and 'spirited', yet.....;)


    You SHOULD know, Seventh, that we "the Girls" need some soothing and gentle words...pampering and all BEFORE we ..well, just let loose!

    It's called, foreplay!:D

    We need music, whispers of love before we 'spill'.:)
     
    3 people like this.
  14. Jul 13, 2012
  15. anniemac

    anniemac Ueber Meister MM PABnoaccred

    Occupation:
    retired
    Location:
    Texas, USA
    But I don't have any stories like that! :( Too old!

    But I enjoyed yours. :D

    Kudos to your Mom. She sounds like me. When my son came back home after the Marines, I finally had to tell him he had to empty his own pockets because I was tired of washing and drying condoms (new in wrapper) everytime I washed his clothes. LOL! That's about as close to an embarassing story as I can get. LOL!
     
    3 people like this.
  16. Jul 13, 2012
  17. harrys99

    harrys99 Dormant account

    Occupation:
    Bar Business/Office Management
    Location:
    Wherever I Want
    Boy Jane was spot on! Still unraveling from the day-not in that relaxed kind of divulge TMI stage yet:p
     
    2 people like this.
  18. Jul 13, 2012
  19. Seventh777

    Seventh777 RIP Roy

    Occupation:
    Builder, mainly renovations.
    Location:
    Planet Tharg, dark side, where nothing grows.
    That wasn`t my story hun, it was a close friends :).
     
  20. Jul 13, 2012
  21. Seventh777

    Seventh777 RIP Roy

    Occupation:
    Builder, mainly renovations.
    Location:
    Planet Tharg, dark side, where nothing grows.
    You really are trying to get me in trouble aint ya lol ;).
     
    2 people like this.
  22. Jul 13, 2012
  23. Seventh777

    Seventh777 RIP Roy

    Occupation:
    Builder, mainly renovations.
    Location:
    Planet Tharg, dark side, where nothing grows.
    Mmmmmm I have some sophisticated ladies here I will have to brush up on my foreplay technique, I don`t think my normal "Hey babe you awake?" `Sure hun why?` "Brace yourself", approach will cut it here :eek2:.
     
    1 person likes this.
  24. Jul 13, 2012
  25. Seventh777

    Seventh777 RIP Roy

    Occupation:
    Builder, mainly renovations.
    Location:
    Planet Tharg, dark side, where nothing grows.
    Here hun, have another drink :p.
     
    2 people like this.
  26. Jul 13, 2012
  27. harrys99

    harrys99 Dormant account

    Occupation:
    Bar Business/Office Management
    Location:
    Wherever I Want
    I thought about that after I said it-but you did say we might look back later and cringe LOL. "have another drink" takes on a whole new meaning to someone in the bar biz:D

    "Please sir may I have another"
     
    2 people like this.
  28. Jul 13, 2012
  29. Seventh777

    Seventh777 RIP Roy

    Occupation:
    Builder, mainly renovations.
    Location:
    Planet Tharg, dark side, where nothing grows.
    You`ve got me thinking now lol, we need VWM in here to explain to me, he went to one of those schools where the term `Head Boy` was a command :eek:.
     
    2 people like this.
  30. Jul 13, 2012
  31. secret2

    secret2 irishbrit62 MM

    Occupation:
    driver
    Location:
    New York, United States
    GIRLS!! ALERT!!

    Horny dawg on the loose!!

    He's on the roam!!...He could show up anywhere on this forum!!!

    Batton down the hatches!!....

    I have a 'three hand story'...but not now.:oops::cool:

    I need nips for this one.
     
    2 people like this.
  32. Jul 13, 2012
  33. Seventh777

    Seventh777 RIP Roy

    Occupation:
    Builder, mainly renovations.
    Location:
    Planet Tharg, dark side, where nothing grows.

    Hahaha can`t wait :), I will reveal one of my lesser ones soon ;).
     
  34. Jul 13, 2012
  35. harrys99

    harrys99 Dormant account

    Occupation:
    Bar Business/Office Management
    Location:
    Wherever I Want
    Where is VWM? That would be an interesting perspective if he went there as a young boy. What with all those hormones and pent up frustrations floating around;)
     
    1 person likes this.
  36. Jul 13, 2012
  37. blonde

    blonde Senior Member

    Occupation:
    Writer/Freelancer, 7 years and going strong.
    Location:
    London, Aussie...hell who knows
    WOWSERS!!! Seventh what did you put in my drink? :lolup: I am having all kinds of... well nevermind. LMAO
     
    1 person likes this.
  38. Jul 13, 2012
  39. Seventh777

    Seventh777 RIP Roy

    Occupation:
    Builder, mainly renovations.
    Location:
    Planet Tharg, dark side, where nothing grows.
    Well here`s mine, no minor tales 1st, and an event that still makes me cringe today, but 1st a slight build up - Many years ago there was a comic strip called Wicked Willy portraying a man and his relationship with his very unpredictable manhood, whom most of the time would do what he was supposed to do when he should not and vice versa, and believe me when I state that comic could have been based on me and mine, whose favourite trick up to this day is doing his thing every single time I have a slow dance, imagine how many times this has been the brunt of embarrassment for me at weddings etc when my gf`s at the respective times have got me to dance with their nan`s, mum`s etcetera (but never their cute sisters, bitches lol).

    I was going to start with one such case which was my 18th birthday party and a very close friend of my Mother`s who was in her early 30`s then and was an absolute Goddess, she looked like Anita Harris did when she was young and had one of the most amazing bodies ever, and was at the root of all my schoolboy fantasies and beyond if the truth were known lol, and there she was at my party wearing a skin hugging black mini skirt dress that looked like it had been sprayed on, i`ll never forget that dance lol.

    But anyway`s, here is my most embarrassing moment of my life upto and including today, you really have to get into the moment here, focus on those cringe-worthy times when meeting the one day to be in-laws, when something as small as uttering the wrong word at the wrong time can have your face redder than a sunburnt tomato covered in red sauce.

    Here goes......

    It happened many years ago when I was 21, and like many stories of this ilk it centres around in-laws and a slightly adult theme.

    It was meet the girlfriends parents and family night which coincided with football training. The plans were laid that my gf would pick me up after training and take me to her parents house, whilst bringing a change of clothes for me also. She turns up bang on time but has forgot to bring my clothes, which leaves me with just my joggers and t-shirt, we decide there is not enough time to go home 1st and change so we head towards her parents home.

    Being a true frisky Essex girl my gf en route starts being very naughty, needless to say when we arrive at her parents house I have to stay in the car for a few minutes to calm down a bit. After a few minutes I pluck up courage and enter the house (still in a semi state of horniness) as I enter the room my heart falls to my feet, it could not be more crammed with her relatives, I make my excuses for not entering with her and head for the only seat available (oh boy if I knew what was to happen very shortly i`d have sat on the floor lol), right next to my prospective mother in law to be.

    After the informal introductions to her parents, brother and wife plus kids, uncle and auntie, and nan, I start feeling more relaxed and the relative chat starts flowing I now feel a whole lot more relaxed, until, out of the blue the family cat enters the room and decides my lap is favourite place for a nap, and up he jumps.

    As I start stroking him he starts that cat thing with his paws, which are placed at a very strategic and highly sensitive place, I stop stroking him, but to no avail, his paws keep doing that pawing thing they do, the alarm bells start ringing and i`m screaming inside at my nether regions `Don`t you dare, don`t you f^%$<>g dare`, to late, he dared.

    Amongst all the turmoil going on inside my head I had completely lost all track with the conversation in the room, which had now entered the dinner is ready stage, and were awaiting for me to lead them into the kitchen, the room was now completely silent, I can now feel the sweat dripping from my forehead as I dig deep inside for a plan to disguise my present state, which is not helped at all by the joggers I have on.

    My plan was simple, keep the cat pressed against me as I stand whilst at the same time trying to arrange my t-shirt as to cover myself and protect my dignity, `great plan` I silently thought to myself.. `Here goes`, I am now pressing the cat tightly into me and at this stage I don`t know whom is the most scared, me or the cat, when a catalogue of events that could not have been better prepared for a comedy film slot together perfectly.

    Imagine the scenario, as i`m rising and holding the cat for dear life, the mother in law starts speaking to me, in one complete action i`m starting to stand, whilst turning to face her, as the cat decides f%^k this and digs both sets of claws deep into my family jewels causing me to release him and thrust myself towards the way am I now facing, the mother in law, the look on her face as my impending manhood stops short about an inch from her right eye is scarred deep in my memory lol, there are gasps from around the room and an eerie silence, broken only by good old nan as she utters.. `Oh he likes cats don`t he!!`, priceless, absolutely priceless lol.

    I defy anyone to have a more embarrassing story than this lol.
     
    4 people like this.

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