Welp, that's me done!

[sueyh]

Well.. I done messed up.
Wife is away for a few days and I'd been good but it eventually got too much I guess.. I thought I'd got through the day but I stupidly watched a youtube of gambling streamers and noticed one showed an aussie casino that was apparently still operating, signed up and lost about $150 which is nothing, Had a whole bunch of wins of course (had wagering).. up all night, feeling so worthless and crappy today.
Closed the account with the new mob (but not before they sold my phone number to spammers, had about 15 calls today).

Don't be too hard on yourself.
Not many people are beating gambling issue at one go.

The most important thing is you stopped after losing $150 and closed the account.
I don't think it is a good idea you watch the gambling video, even if it was the video with someone is losing a lot.

Did you find something else you can do when you think about gambling, for example watching Netflix, playing Play station?

Don't feel too bad about what happened, you just made a couple of steps back, you can focus on making 10 more steps forwards.

 

[Bloatgoat]

I guess your just weak, because you had all the tools (esp on youtube) to really ban any gambling related stuff thats entering your screen. Here, i'll give you an example:



Click on the bottom right of a thumbnail and hit spam, report and done. Do this a few times on any gambling related video and it will dissapear from your suggested timeline. As for your girlfriend being away for a few days, something tells me that it gave you all the oppertunity to do what you actually liked doing, while you shoud'nt. And that is the crucial part here; you really dont want to quit gambling. Your just looking for a quick escape and when you had the freedom you jumped right back in. I'm not sure if you where able to 'afford' that 150 dollar of playing money or not, but knowing you stopped at that mark you proberly needed that money.

It's simple man. If you wanna quit, you gotta want it. If one video of a streamer already triggers you to go out and play against everything you wrote here then there's something wrong with you wanting to quit gambling. And frankly you are not ready to really quit gambling.



So yeah, my advice, disconnect yourself from any gambling related website. Give any banking cards, codes or phone's that require a two-step-auth to your girlfriend. Tell her the complete story as well. Give yourself up. It's for the better you. Once you are able to pass 3 weeks without any stupid of your playing, you will start to feel better. Your craving will slowly start to dissapear. Try a hobby. Do loundry. Do the dishes or clean the complete house while your at it.

You'll discover step by step that, gambling is'nt really the thing you need man.

 

[TheresNoDInBonanza]

was hoping for a bit more sympathetic response than that

 

[mikeMega]

There were only two online casino's I can use in Australia and I've just permanently closed my accounts with them and will be closing my credit card on Monday.

With a new baby I just can't afford the time or money that this 'hobby' has ended up demanding so it's time to give it away.

Yep I know this isn't my first "I'm quitting" thread- but it should be the last.

I wish all of you the best of luck, especially those rare few able to moderate their play, personally I feel like I've pretty much dedicated the last 19 years of my life to gambling- which kinda sucks.

- All the best

Good for you, your little one will appreciate your time and attention and they will also be a brilliant way for you to keep busy and put bad experiences behind you. Good luck, you have 19 years on the gamble which can be stressful so now you will be well prepared for another 19 years raising a little one which can be equally stressful but hey, you have got the experience now to handle it well!! good luck!!

 

[mack341]

was hoping for a bit more sympathetic response than that

what has been your overall opinion on this relapse No.D, have you come to a conclusion or analysed it? has it satisfied that urge that was building up, I mean if you can go another 3 months clean from now, that's still a big achievement isn't it?

 

[goatwack]

I don't think it's possible to go cold turkey with a strong gambling addiction, to go several weeks gamble-free IS to be commended for sure.

It's about gradually training up your resolve. Bit like when I first hit the gym; doing 10 minutes on the treadmill and my knees would be on fire, and 2 minutes on the rower I'd be gasping like a geriatric. Now I breeze around the gym like a serene leaf

With gambling it's failure by repetition.....so eventually your mind will get so fed up of this wank-stain vice that your mind will say 'why bother'

I lost my rose-tinted memories of slotting a long time ago, there's just nothing to get excited over or worth ruining your life over

 

[Borgie]

I don't think it's possible to go cold turkey with a strong gambling addiction, to go several weeks gamble-free IS to be commended for sure.

It's about gradually training up your resolve. Bit like when I first hit the gym; doing 10 minutes on the treadmill and my knees would be on fire, and 2 minutes on the rower I'd be gasping like a geriatric. Now I breeze around the gym like a serene leaf

With gambling it's failure by repetition.....so eventually your mind will get so fed up of this wank-stain vice that your mind will say 'why bother'

I lost my rose-tinted memories of slotting a long time ago, there's just nothing to get excited over or worth ruining your life over

Serene leaf lmao - pictures of you breezing like a serene leaf please !!!

 

[TheresNoDInBonanza]

I lost my rose-tinted memories of slotting a long time ago, there's just nothing to get excited over or worth ruining your life over

Are you not gambling anymore? you used to be pretty prolific didn't you?

what has been your overall opinion on this relapse No.D, have you come to a conclusion or analysed it? has it satisfied that urge that was building up, I mean if you can go another 3 months clean from now, that's still a big achievement isn't it?

As usual as in most things in life no, I don't have any profound revelations... I gambled again and I had some huge hits, bigger wins than I'd normally have from months of playing in just a few hours. I was left feeling sour nonetheless since I just kept playing (as you do) until it was gone and it was with a less than reputable group.
But I thought maybe it's not so bad- so I tried going to the pub (again for my critics- first time in four month), thought I could have one day of gambling before I started my next four month stretch, and it was nice to see the staff again and 'socialize' but sitting on a damp chair with an overwhelming stench of BO and urine and an RTP of ~<50% quickly sent me home to reconsider what's important in life.

My wife will use this post as ammunition against me no doubt, but I just wanted one night trying to hit big, instead it was a couple hundred bucks, misery, a bottle of vodka and self-loathing.

 

[mack341]

Are you not gambling anymore? you used to be pretty prolific didn't you?

As usual as in most things in life no, I don't have any profound revelations... I gambled again and I had some huge hits, bigger wins than I'd normally have from months of playing in just a few hours. I was left feeling sour nonetheless since I just kept playing (as you do) until it was gone and it was with a less than reputable group.
But I thought maybe it's not so bad- so I tried going to the pub (again for my critics- first time in four month), thought I could have one day of gambling before I started my next four month stretch, and it was nice to see the staff again and 'socialize' but sitting on a damp chair with an overwhelming stench of BO and urine and an RTP of ~<50% quickly sent me home to reconsider what's important in life.

My wife will use this post as ammunition against me no doubt, but I just wanted one night trying to hit big, instead it was a couple hundred bucks, misery, a bottle of vodka and self-loathing.

I think it's commendable you were honest and posted about the relapse, many would've had a bigger relapse or kept it all hush hush, I think this thread can help you and others reading and posting to it.

The pokies in australia are very popular aren't they? I suppose because it's so blinking hot it's nice to get indoors for a while. The gambling no matter how much you pine for it and want to get stuck in, will never match the 'possible' emotions and enjoyment that your family can offer, once you can get a buzz from that I think you'd be much better off. I can't remember if you said you had a boy or girl? But there is so much to plan for, in the future etc...

 

[goatwack]

Are you not gambling anymore? you used to be pretty prolific didn't you?

As usual as in most things in life no, I don't have any profound revelations... I gambled again and I had some huge hits, bigger wins than I'd normally have from months of playing in just a few hours. I was left feeling sour nonetheless since I just kept playing (as you do) until it was gone and it was with a less than reputable group.
But I thought maybe it's not so bad- so I tried going to the pub (again for my critics- first time in four month), thought I could have one day of gambling before I started my next four month stretch, and it was nice to see the staff again and 'socialize' but sitting on a damp chair with an overwhelming stench of BO and urine and an RTP of ~<50% quickly sent me home to reconsider what's important in life.

My wife will use this post as ammunition against me no doubt, but I just wanted one night trying to hit big, instead it was a couple hundred bucks, misery, a bottle of vodka and self-loathing.

I used to gamble 'as and when' but have always been a lowroller. But certainly at one time no untouched spare money would be unaccounted for, because that money could make me more money (I used to believe)

I've streamlined from maybe 30 casinos to just five or six. Then I've set very low limits at all of them and it's working just dandy. Throw in lots of crap charitable donations err I mean 'deposits' and my enthusiasm wanes soon enough

I don't even think quitting for good is the order of the day, but of course everyone's different. I'm happy to have a mini-stint a couple of times a month as a release of sorts

 

[slotplayer]

Setbacks used to get me down but now I realize they're part of the process.

 

[Jasminebed]

NoD, I'm not here to dish up any sympathy.

But don't let this fuck-up become a reason to relapse. You are not back to day one IMO.

A little self reflection is definitely in order. What was your mood when you decided to gamble? What rationale did you give yourself. What was your reasoning/excuse the next day?

What's your plan going forward to prevent this happening again? You need hand over your finances so a small fuck-up does not become a big fuck up.

I don't know if you watched the video posted above, but one point that rang true was to stop thinking of yourself as a gambler. I have friends that go to casinos once in a while, but they don't think of themselves as gamblers. And they are certainly not problem gamblers.

If you are not journalling, I strongly encourage you to do so. When you want to gamble, go write down your mood. Write down what you want to get out of it by giving in to the urge. Write down the negative consequences of doing so. Never forget SOMETIMES IT IS WORSE WHEN YOU ARE WINNING. Write down the benefits of not gambling. List some alternate activities and pick one.

Although my Dad never beat cigarettes, during one of his quit attempts he had an affirmation taped to his bedroom mirror that said "Whether or not I smoke a cigarette, the urge to smoke a cigarette will pass". It will come again and again, but eventually it is less frequent.

Go make a sign for your bathroom mirror that says "I got this".

And stop watching gambling videos!

 

[Bloatgoat]

was hoping for a bit more sympathetic response than that

Lets see, this is how you started your thread:

There were only two online casino's I can use in Australia and I've just permanently closed my accounts with them and will be closing my credit card on Monday.

With a new baby I just can't afford the time or money that this 'hobby' has ended up demanding so it's time to give it away.

Yep I know this isn't my first "I'm quitting" thread- but it should be the last.

I wish all of you the best of luck, especially those rare few able to moderate their play, personally I feel like I've pretty much dedicated the last 19 years of my life to gambling- which kinda sucks.

So yeah, in your post you stated that your gf was out for a few days, and you coud'nt resist not playing on online slots. You proberly did it without here awareness and spended that 150$ which you proberly coud'nt spend in the first place.

I think you need not to pause, not be out for a while, not oversea and change any strategy related to gambling, but imprint it that you have to stop, because you have a problem and you will not overcome that problem unless you take full responsibility and fucking stop.

- Someone else needs to maintain your money. You obviously cant.

- You have a kid (?), for many people in life is this a great wonder, perhaps this motivates you a bit more from now on that that small one is your responsibility from the day that it got born untill the day you pass away.

- Stop looking at video's which are obviously paid streams on streamers just to lure you in.

Really, it's best for you not to come back ever again to any casino. There's different ways to get thrills or enjoyment out of doing things. You just need to get over it and you'll see that the info i'm giving you now is true.

 

[MartiniMan]

I just wanted one night trying to hit big, instead it was a couple hundred bucks, misery, a bottle of vodka and self-loathing.

Back on Jan 19'th 2019 you said "Welp, that's me done!" that was over 5 months ago.

I've tried to help you, others have too. But for some unknown reason; even though you've admitted you have a gambling problem and maybe a drug/drink problem too, but you seem hell-bent on the path of self destruction. Here's a wake up call. Your a grown man with a wife and a young baby/child. You want to throw all that away, go for it, nothing anyone here can do about it.

Two choices mate:

1. Keep gambling and fuck up your life, and those around you even more.
2. Stop feeling sorry for yourself and stop gambling - that includes stop watching streamers and Gambling Videos etc.

Seek professional help... Aside from gambling there seems to be a LOT of other issues which need addressing!

 

[Steviedoo]

Back on Jan 19'th 2019 you said "Welp, that's me done!" that was over 5 months ago.

I've tried to help you, others have too. But for some unknown reason; even though you've admitted you have a gambling problem and maybe a drug/drink problem too, but you seem hell-bent on the path of self destruction. Here's a wake up call. Your a grown man with a wife and a young baby/child. You want to throw all that away, go for it, nothing anyone here can do about it.

Two choices mate:

1. Keep gambling and fuck up your life, and those around you even more.
2. Stop feeling sorry for yourself and stop gambling - that includes stop watching streamers and Gambling Videos etc.

Seek professional help... Aside from gambling there seems to be a LOT of other issues which need addressing!

do you really think this is helpful

 

[MartiniMan]

do you really think this is helpful

Sorry if my words are harsh but it's just not his life at stake here. It may sound heartless on the outside, but so too is tough LOVE. Or is it better to keep mollycoddling him.
I've tried the support approach many times; we've all done that for 5+ months. Has it changed anything? No.

Comes a time when adult's need a reality check.

 

[philderby]

Are you not gambling anymore? you used to be pretty prolific didn't you?

As usual as in most things in life no, I don't have any profound revelations... I gambled again and I had some huge hits, bigger wins than I'd normally have from months of playing in just a few hours. I was left feeling sour nonetheless since I just kept playing (as you do) until it was gone and it was with a less than reputable group.
But I thought maybe it's not so bad- so I tried going to the pub (again for my critics- first time in four month), thought I could have one day of gambling before I started my next four month stretch, and it was nice to see the staff again and 'socialize' but sitting on a damp chair with an overwhelming stench of BO and urine and an RTP of ~<50% quickly sent me home to reconsider what's important in life.

My wife will use this post as ammunition against me no doubt, but I just wanted one night trying to hit big, instead it was a couple hundred bucks, misery, a bottle of vodka and self-loathing.

You can stop gambling mate. Its hard I know but one day at a time. We will support you, thats what we are here for. All the best

 

[Bloatgoat]

do you really think this is helpful

ah well some need serious reality checks and the state that they are in. perhaps a bit further by letting someone else manage their funds. He did'nt really gave one damn when spending the 300 bucks while being alone as the wife was away. That is a gambling problem, kind of justifying why you are allowed to play or some shit.

it's said that a gambling addiction is best said as one big lie. It's just a lie and people who are a problem gamblers are usually in denyal.

 

[slotplayer]

Like Jasminebed's Dad did.

The land casino is called Twin River but resides in the town of Lincoln so we just called it Lincoln,
well anyway I taped a note to my computer monitor that said " Lincoln is always a bad idea"

 

[TheresNoDInBonanza]

Two weeks since the slip up. I've committed to going eight months this time.

 

[philderby]

Two weeks since the slip up. I've committed to going eight months this time.

Its good that you are making an effort mate. Remember its important to 'stay in the moment' and not to far in the future. We cant control the future however we are in full control of today

 

[Jasminebed]

Hoping bumping this does no harm, still rooting for you. Hope it's no news is good news.

 

[TheresNoDInBonanza]

Thanks Jas, going pretty OK. Think it's three weeks at the moment, there were one or two slip ups before that but there's been a bunch of cash in the house the last week or so from selling some stuff and I'm proud to report it's still there on the bookshelf.
Also shutdown my only known remaining method of depositing online and closed accounts at the few remaining casinos that'll take .au players.
Been too damn tired to even think about gambling much lately anyway.
Hope everyone else is doing well.

 

[Kroffe]

Thanks Jas, going pretty OK. Think it's three weeks at the moment, there were one or two slip ups before that but there's been a bunch of cash in the house the last week or so from selling some stuff and I'm proud to report it's still there on the bookshelf.
Also shutdown my only known remaining method of depositing online and closed accounts at the few remaining casinos that'll take .au players.
Been too damn tired to even think about gambling much lately anyway.
Hope everyone else is doing well.

Good on you for taking care of yourself and treating the problem seriously.
Do you go to any meetings or see psychiatrist to vent about it?
Big part of getting the monkey off ones back is finding out the reason its there in the first place.

Gambling works for me, but ive had issues with alcohol when i was younger.
I still find it hard sometime to enjoy myself when being around people drinking, since its hard to get on the same "level" while being sober.
Ive learnt that alcohol is just not for me, since i cannot handle it like a responsible grown-up should be able to.
It was always all or nothing for me, no middle ground. Took me a broken relationship and alot of talking with people who had experienced the same thing to finally kick the booze.
Sorry for ranting about my issues in your thread, but i want you to know how big it is that you are taking care of it, and how many relationships&friendships will be saved by doing it.

 

[TheresNoDInBonanza]

Good on you for taking care of yourself and treating the problem seriously.
Do you go to any meetings or see psychiatrist to vent about it?
Big part of getting the monkey off ones back is finding out the reason its there in the first place.

Gambling works for me, but ive had issues with alcohol when i was younger.
I still find it hard sometime to enjoy myself when being around people drinking, since its hard to get on the same "level" while being sober.
Ive learnt that alcohol is just not for me, since i cannot handle it like a responsible grown-up should be able to.
It was always all or nothing for me, no middle ground. Took me a broken relationship and alot of talking with people who had experienced the same thing to finally kick the booze.
Sorry for ranting about my issues in your thread, but i want you to know how big it is that you are taking care of it, and how many relationships&friendships will be saved by doing it.

Yeah I'm a bit the same with the booze unfortunately. It will be the next thing to go.