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"Through A Rapist's Eyes" (PLEASE TAKE TIME TO READ THIS. it may save a life.)

Discussion in 'The Attic' started by GGW Laurie, Aug 25, 2013.

    Aug 25, 2013
  1. GGW Laurie

    GGW Laurie Dormant account webmeister

    Occupation:
    Self Employed
    Location:
    In the Beautiful South !!
    "THROUGH A RAPIST'S EYES" (PLEASE TAKE TIME TO READ THIS. it may save a life.)

    It seems that a lot of attackers use some tactic to get away with violence. Not many people know how to take care of themselves when faced with such a situation.


    THOUGHT THIS WAS GOOD INFO TO PASS ALONG...
    FYI - Through a rapist's eyes! A group of rapists and date rapists in prison were interviewed on what they look for in a potential victim and here are some interesting facts:

    1] The first thing men look for in a potential victim is hairstyle.
    They are most likely to go after a woman with a ponytail, bun! , braid
    or other hairstyle that can easily be grabbed. They are also likely to go after a woman with long hair. Women with short hair are not common targets.

    2] The second thing men look for is clothing. They will look for women who's clothing is easy to remove quickly. Many of them carry scissors around to cut clothing.

    3] They also look for women using their cell phone, searching through their purse or doing other activities while walking because they are off guard and can be easily overpowered.

    4] The number one place women are abducted from / attacked at is grocery store parking lots.

    5] Number two is office parking lots/garages.

    6] Number three is public restrooms.

    7] The thing about these men is that they are looking to grab a woman and quickly move her to a second location where they don't have to worry about getting caught.

    8] If you put up any kind of a fight at all, they get discouraged
    because it only takes a minute or two for them to realize that going after you isn't worth it because it will be time-consuming.

    9] These men said they would not pick on women who have umbrellas, or other similar objects that can be used from a distance, in their hands.

    10] Keys are not a deterrent because you have to get really close to the attacker to use them as a weapon. So, the idea is to convince these guys you're not worth it.

    POINTS THAT WE SHOULD REMEMBER:

    1] If someone is following behind you on a street or in a garage or
    with you in an elevator or stairwell, look them in the face and ask
    them a question, like what time is it, or make general small talk:
    can't believe it is so cold out here, we're in for a bad winter. Now
    that you've seen their faces and could identify them in a line- up,
    you lose appeal as a target.

    2] If someone is coming toward you, hold out your hands in front of you and yell Stop or Stay back! Most of the rapists this man talked to said they'd leave a woman alone if she yelled or showed that she would not be afraid to fight back. Again, they are looking for an EASY target.

    3] If you carry pepper spray (this instructor was a huge advocate of it and carries it with him wherever he goes,) yelling I HAVE PEPPER SPRAY and holding it out will be a deterrent.

    4] If someone grabs you, you can't beat them with strength but you can do it by outsmarting them. If you are grabbed around the waist from behind, pinch the attacker either under the arm between the elbow and armpit or in the upper inner thigh - HARD. One woman in a class this guy taught told him she used the underarm pinch on a guy who was trying to date rape her and was so upset she broke through the skin and tore out muscle strands the guy needed stitches. Try pinching yourself in those places as hard as you can stand it; it really hurts.

    5] After the initial hit, always go for the groin. I know from a
    particularly unfortunate experience that if you slap a guy's parts it
    is extremely painful. You might think that you'll anger the guy and
    make him want to hurt you more, but the thing these rapists told our instructor is that they want a woman who will not cause him a lot of trouble. Start causing trouble, and he's out of there.

    6] When the guy puts his hands up to you, grab his first two fingers and bend them back as far as possible with as much pressure pushing down on them as possible. The instructor did it to me without using much pressure, and I ended up on my knees and both knuckles cracked audibly.

    7] Of course the things we always hear still apply. Always be aware of your surroundings, take someone with you if you can and if you see any odd behavior, don't dismiss it, go with your instincts. You may feel little silly at the time, but you'd feel much worse if the guy really was trouble.

    FINALLY, PLEASE REMEMBER THESE AS WELL ....
    I know you are smart enough to know these pointers but there will be some, where you will go "hmm I must remember that" After reading, forward it to someone you care about, never hurts to be careful in this crazy world we live in.

    1. Tip from Tae Kwon Do: The elbow is the strongest point on your body. If you are close enough to use it, do it.

    2. Learned this from a tourist guide to New Orleans : if a robber asks for your wallet and/or purse, DO NOT HAND IT TO HIM. Toss it away from you.... chances are that he is more interested in your wallet and/or purse than you and he will go for the wallet/purse. RUN LIKE MAD IN THE OTHER DIRECTION!

    3. If you are ever thrown into the trunk of a car: Kick out the back
    tail lights and stick your arm out the hole and start waving like
    crazy. The driver won't see you but everybody else will. This has
    saved lives.

    4. Women have a tendency to get into their cars after shopping,eating, working, etc., and just sit (doing their checkbook, or making a list, etc. DON'T DO THIS! The predator will be watching you, and this is the perfect opportunity for him to get in on the passenger side,put a gun to your head, and tell you where to go. AS SOON AS YOU CLOSE the DOORS , LEAVE.

    5. A few notes about getting into your car in a parking lot, or
    parking garage:

    a. Be aware: look around your car as someone may be
    hiding at the passenger side , peek into your car, inside the
    passenger side floor, and in the back seat. ( DO THIS TOO BEFORE RIDING A TAXI CAB) .

    b. If you are parked next to a big van, enter your car from the
    passenger door. Most serial killers attack their victims by pulling
    them into their vans while the women are attempting to get into their cars.

    c. Look at the car parked on the driver's side of your vehicle, and
    the passenger side. If a male is sitting alone in the seat nearest
    your car, you may want to walk back into the mall, or work, and get a guard/policeman to walk you back out. IT IS ALWAYS BETTER TO BE SAFE THAN SORRY. (And better paranoid than dead.)

    6. ALWAYS take the elevator instead of the stairs. (Stairwells are
    horrible places to be alone and the perfect crime spot).

    7. If the predator has a gun and you are not under his control, ALWAYS RUN! The predator will only hit you (a running target) 4 in 100 times;
    And even then, it most likely WILL NOT be a vital organ. RUN!

    8. As women, we are always trying to be sympathetic: STOP IT! It may get you raped, or killed. Ted Bundy, the serial killer, was a
    good-looking, well educated man, who ALWAYS played on the sympathies of unsuspecting women. He walked with a cane, or a limp, and often asked "for help" into his vehicle or with his vehicle, which is when he abducted his next victim.

    I'd like you to send this to all the women you know. It may save a life. A candle is not dimmed by lighting another candle.

    Laurie
     
    19 people like this.
  2. Aug 25, 2013
  3. chayton

    chayton aka LooHoo CAG PABnonaccred webmeister

    Occupation:
    Freelance Designer
    Location:
    Edmonton Canada
    Some good advice there Laurie! I did self defense classes when I was young and some of this stuff was covered.

    I think the most important thing that a woman can do is to always be aware of where they are and who's around them - it's better to not find yourself in a situation where you have to fight. Also I think most women can benefit from going to a self defense class, it helps to teach you to not be embarrassed to yell or scream if someone's trying to grab you, and also helps you to be able to hurt someone if you have to. A lot of women have an aversion to hitting someone or causing a scene even if someone is attacking them.
     
    5 people like this.
  4. Aug 25, 2013
  5. Balthazar

    Balthazar The Governor

    Occupation:
    Leader
    Location:
    Woodbury
    I'm sorry but "self defense" won't cut it. Very few women can hold their own against a determined 200+lbs man (no, the knee/kick in the nuts won't work). On the other hand, no man would feel good when looking at the wrong end of a .38 special (in fact, I'd bet that ALL of them would go "soft", if you know what I mean). Remember that most rapists are cowards and aren't ready to die. If you're lucky enough to live in a state that allows you to defend yourself, get a CCW license with proper training. This is by far your best option.

    If not, I guess trying to slip out of his grip and run is indeed your best chance (hopefully you don't have a ponytail).
     
    2 people like this.
  6. Aug 25, 2013
  7. just play

    just play closed account

    Occupation:
    Director of Home Operations
    Location:
    USA

    I think I could have 100 guesses and wouldn't have guessed this. We have 2 grocery stores in my small city, one is a small one, almost all the parking spaces are near the entrance, and the other is quite larger, very well lit, other stores are next to it, so it's not the only store around, people are everywhere all the time, even at night it's busy.

    I do think a self defense class is good. I've never been but I'm sure it gives tips of which parts of the body are better to hit/kick. Things some women don't know about.

    I was thinking what about the eyes? Poke or punch there? Wouldn't they water up and give you those few seconds to run?


    Great post Laurie :thumbsup:
     
    4 people like this.
  8. Aug 25, 2013
  9. GGW Laurie

    GGW Laurie Dormant account webmeister

    Occupation:
    Self Employed
    Location:
    In the Beautiful South !!
    Have to disagree and agree with you somewhat , I do have a CCW permit but most places in my state will not let you carry in their respected venues so if some SOB wants me , he is in for the fight of his life , I will scream , kick , grab, bite, poke and try to pull his nuts off and throw them at him as I am running away.

    Self defense classes teach so many ways to protect yourself without a gun, Men who rape pray upon the weak , these classes teach you not to be another statistic.

    As you said most rapists are cowards !!

    Laurie


    ps.....Most Red Cross centers and other Community recreation centers in your areas have classes for FREE , yes I said FREE !!!
     
    Last edited: Aug 25, 2013
    3 people like this.
  10. Aug 25, 2013
  11. Balthazar

    Balthazar The Governor

    Occupation:
    Leader
    Location:
    Woodbury
    Correct me if I'm wrong but unless we're talking about federal buildings (such as a post office) or schools, they can't do anything other than asking you to leave if they catch you carrying in these "forbidden" places (and they aren't supposed to catch you anyway). You're not breaking the law and it shouldn't prevent you from doing it IMHO. Work place can be a little touchy though since they could fire you, but other than that a sign at the door sure as hell wouldn't stop me if I could carry, because you know damn well that it won't stop the bad guys (in fact it will probably attract them).
     
    3 people like this.
  12. Aug 25, 2013
  13. GGW Laurie

    GGW Laurie Dormant account webmeister

    Occupation:
    Self Employed
    Location:
    In the Beautiful South !!

    If I go out somewhere and there is a sign on the door that say's no weapons allowed , I will obey, some places I frequent do know that I have a weapon in my purse and know I have a permit and they have no problems , I will respect the wishes of any establishment that requests no weapons allowed.

    My new job requires me to go to clients homes at sometimes odd hours in several different counties to have them sign and notarize their loan package from the lender. I am sometimes in areas that are unfamiliar to me and do carry my weapon in my purse. It is not the clients I am worried about as the Bank or lending company has all their info and someone calls me after I have completed the loan package, no matter what hour it is but driving on some of those dark back roads at 10 pm can be pretty scary and I feel safer knowing i have a weapon and cell phone and that big ugly heavy hammer under my seat.

    Laurie
     
    1 person likes this.
  14. Aug 25, 2013
  15. chuchu59

    chuchu59 gambling addict CAG PABnonaccred

    Occupation:
    EXECUTIVE
    Location:
    SOMEWHERE IN ASIA
    In the place where I live there are organisations and many people who will deride the observations Laurie posted saying that this is akin to blaming the victims not the attackers. A high-ranking government official reminded women to beware potential rapists who try to intoxicate victims and got a roasting from some organisations who said that the official was shifting the blame on victims. Admittedly that official was not the most eloquent of speakers but he meant well. People should heed these tips so that they are less likely to fall prey to those rapists.
     
    3 people like this.
  16. Aug 25, 2013
  17. cpdnd31

    cpdnd31 Ueber Meister CAG webmeister

    Occupation:
    -
    Location:
    where the taxes are the highest
    2 more helpful hints:

    1: The Kneecap is the weakest part of the body. If you get grabbed from behind and he has your arms, take your leg and kick that knee. He will either go down or loose balance it may buy you enough time to get away.

    2: on my I-phone I have an app. called noise maker. It has every kind of horn on it. I was in parking garage and there was a guy behind me to close behind me. I hit that app and he turned real quick. I was making way to much noise for him. It echoed nicely in the garage. Funny thing is I got the app for son's football games. LOL Now both kids have it on their I-phones.

    Also one thing I have taught my kids, If at anytime they think someone is strange and or bad feeling get to public place quick. If they have a phone try to snap a pic of vehicle and or person. Their photos go to I-cloud so we will have some info just in case something does occur.
     
    5 people like this.
  18. Aug 25, 2013
  19. GGW Laurie

    GGW Laurie Dormant account webmeister

    Occupation:
    Self Employed
    Location:
    In the Beautiful South !!
    Underground parking garages , like at Hospitals and Malls and B/M casinos make me really uneasy.

    I do like shopping at one of our Malls , they have cameras and bike patrol everywhere you look, the B/M casinos are a different story , I worry about getting robbed so I always do valet, its worth the 5.00.

    Laurie
     
    4 people like this.
  20. Aug 25, 2013
  21. vinylweatherman

    vinylweatherman You type well loads CAG MM

    Occupation:
    STILL At Leisure
    Location:
    United Kingdom
    We have that here, but it means that attacks do happen, and no matter what punishment is meted out to the attacker, it doesn't undo the damage. Another issue in the UK that it's illegal to carry anything to use for defence, even "pepper spray" is banned. The ONLY legal means of defence therefore is a black belt in some martial art, you can't get done for possession of your body and the knowledge of how to best use it for defence, and if attacked, it is unlikely to suffer any penalty for delivering a swift and debilitating kick to the nuts, kneecaps, or eyes if you then use the time bought to run off, rather than "put the boot in" for revenge.

    The problem, of course, is that some attackers will also know martial arts, and will be able to spot and counter any attempt at defence. There are also some places where screams will not be heard, and places to run to are too far away to reach before the attacker can compose themselves and give chase.

    Going in a group, even a pair, may be better as this means that in dealing with their target, there is also a potential witness that they cannot also control, and no matter how remote the location, getting caught is almost a certainty if their face has been spotted, and there is a cellphone signal available.

    Nothing beats having the whole community involved in keeping their eyes open for anything out of the ordinary. I would expect that where an area is well known for community cohesion, there are fewer attacks even where the situation in other respects is high risk.


    Oddly enough, during the €25K tournament, I was interrupted at 1:30am by a commotion and screaming outside. Given the time, I went to a window and opened it, and clearly heard a female voice saying "somebody please help me", so I grabbed the phone and called the police. I then told them everything I could figure out from the open window, and once they had established the location, they said other calls had been received. I could have dismissed it as an ordinary domestic argument that was starting to abate, as I also heard a quiet male voice trying to calm the situation down, but I could not forget the initial plea, so could not sleep easy without making sure that a patrol officer obtained a second opinion by turning up.

    I saw nothing about it in the news, thus no feedback on whether this was just something getting out of hand, or a real incident that could have been a disaster for some woman had nobody called it in.
     
    4 people like this.
  22. Aug 25, 2013
  23. Andy Walker

    Andy Walker Full Member

    Occupation:
    Tax Payer
    Location:
    UK
    Did you win the tournament?
     
  24. Aug 26, 2013
  25. skiny

    skiny Banned User - violation of <a href="http://www.cas

    Occupation:
    Doing everyone else's job.
    Location:
    Canada
    Since when do rapists come at you from a visible direction and announce you're going to be attacked? Having a gun in your purse or even in a holster under your shirt is meaningless when a rapist jumps you from behind or shoves you into a car. The original post was a list of clear, well thought out and time tested suggestions for women to protect themselves in the event of an attack. Suggesting that women carry a concealed weapon so they can shoot the offender in the 3 to 5 seconds it takes for someone to be knocked down and held is ludicrous.

    Possible scenarios.

    Rapist grabs woman. Woman reaches for gun instead of trying to flee. Woman is knocked unconscious and raped. Rapist owns a new gun.

    Rapist grabs woman. Woman manages to draw gun. Woman fires at close range during a struggle and hits herself or misses her target. Aware of the new threat rapist takes gun and woman is either raped or left with a gun shot wound. Rapist owns a new gun.

    Rapist grabs woman. Woman draws gun and fires during a struggle. Shot misses it's target and hits someone parking his car across the street. Woman is knocked down, rapist takes gun. Innocent bystander gets kills. Rapist owns a new gun.

    Woman carries gun in purse. Woman is never raped but a purse snatcher runs by and takes purse. Purse snatcher owns a new gun.

    I know we've all seen the videos where some old woman defends her store with a gun or some guy shoots a criminal saving the day but that's what the media wants you to see. What gun enthusiasts and constitutional defenders doesn't want you to see is all the times that carrying a gun doesn't work.

    I watched a video where 5 people were trained to carry a concealed weapon and then told the weapon they were carrying was loaded. They were sent off and later that day there was a staged attack on a seminar they were to attend. Not one of the 5 carrying the concealed weapon hit the assailant. All 5 were shot. One almost hit someone trying to flee the scene. Your brain doesn't work the same way in a crisis. You have scant seconds to react and you don't get to decide what to do. You have to react without thinking and everything you do in those few seconds is instinct. It takes years of training for your body and mind to learn to react in a crisis and that training doesn't stop.

    It is far better to train women to make as much noise as possible, use any means available to break free and run than to expect her to suddenly become Clint Eastwood at the drop of a hat. Self defense classes are a good idea because they don't train you to fight. They train you to get away and that is the only thing a woman in danger should be thinking about. The fastest and easiest way to get away.

    Women are never to blame for being raped. The responsibility lies entirely on the assailant but it is also far better for women to be well informed and as knowledgeable as possible as to what behaviour will put her in danger and what places she should be most cautious. If she doesn't heed these warnings it's still not her fault but it could have been avoided.
     
    5 people like this.
  26. Aug 26, 2013
  27. GGW Laurie

    GGW Laurie Dormant account webmeister

    Occupation:
    Self Employed
    Location:
    In the Beautiful South !!
    Very well stated skiny, learning self defense is number one in protecting yourself against a rapist, now I do own a gun and am certified to carry a concealed weapon , does this make me a cop , no way. It gives me a sense of knowing that I can protect myself and family long before the police arrive.

    Any woman who has been raped will tell you that they wish they would have done more , fought back but just didn't know what to do, this I know from a friend that had been raped in the past , she was gang raped and blamed herself for many years of being in the company of the wrong crowd. This was not her fault yet she lives with that constant reminder as she caught genital herpes from one of the bastards, so many years ago and yet she always remembers it like yesterday.

    She has had a black belt in karate for years now and teaches women and MEN as well in the art self defense, she is a role model for woman in our area and talks about this at support groups, to her this is her therapy.

    Her rapist(s) got 20 years each with the chance of getting out early and they did , about 4 years is all they got. What is sad is one of the perps has his business one block from hers and the other 3 are still in the area , most family men now. All asked for her forgiveness and she forgave them but told them she will never forget!

    Laurie
     
    1 person likes this.
  28. Aug 26, 2013
  29. kauphy

    kauphy Meister Member

    Occupation:
    mom
    Location:
    az
    i,d like to add to this if i may.

    also if you have a very mean and big dog and have to go out by yourself take you pooch with you.

    anyone will think twice about jumping into a car that has a very large mean looking dog sitting in front.

    not only that but the dog will go off if someone trys to grab you and all that barking and growling will get someone to look your way.

    and if the dog surprizas them then that will also give you a chance to run.
     
    2 people like this.
  30. Aug 26, 2013
  31. Jasminebed

    Jasminebed Closer to 100 than Birth

    Occupation:
    Not in workforce
    Location:
    Ontario
    This was a pretty good post Laurie, thanks.

    Don't be afraid to make noise, in fact, make it before someone gets near you. Turn around and yell at the guy following up the stairs to the parking garage. Put both hand on the railings or walls and threaten to boot him in the chest into the cinderblocks unless he walks back down. He's probably just a guy going to get his car too, but rapists want easy targets.

    Yell at the guy that begins to cross the road when you are on the street late at night.

    If you are in a quiet residential neighbourhood, walk on the road instead of the sidewalk, you have better visibility so someone is not hidden behind a bush or parked car.

    A lot of our members are fathers, teach your daughters. My father, god rest his soul, was a vet of both WWII and Korea, and I think he witnessed some bad stuff in Korea, he never talked much about it. When I was just a little girl (preschool), taught me to punch as hard as I could, past the target. Lessons stopped around 8 when I could actually hurt him.

    Told me never to try to kick or knee a man in the balls. It takes you off balance, and they are on the lookout for it. Instead, grab, turn your hand over, and pull with all your might. I've had to use that one once, only had a couple of bruises to my face to show for it as he tried to get me off of him.

    My dad also told me to get down before they can pin you down. Your legs are strong, and to throw yourself to the ground and get your legs up and just keep booting at them. Doesn't hurt if you keep screaming "I'm gonna kill you" either. If someone grabs you, to throw yourself onto your arse, pretty hard to keep a grip. This one saved me once in Mexico. It was not late at night either, maybe only 8:30 pm.

    Elbows hurt. Go for nose or temple, ribs.

    And make noise.

    Never let them take you to a second location Oprah says. If they have a gun, make them shoot you there. Because a guy with a gun forcing you into a vehicle is not going to be nice and just let you go afterwards.

    If you are raped, it wasn't your fault. I've been raped, and I always knew it wasn't my fault. I was asleep before hand, and it was someone I knew, but not a date or even a friend. I had no doubts whose fault it was, and told everyone I knew for years every time I saw him.

    Date rape drugs are very common now. Don't leave your drink unattended. These things are so cheap, people just throw them around without even a specific target in mind. Guys, girls, whoever, they think it's amusing I guess. One of my friends is a DJ at a popular club and another an ER clerk. It happens every weekend.

    The on the street assailant is a coward. Don't be afraid to confront someone if you are unsure.

    And boys, if some woman yells at you to wait while she goes to her car, or to cross to the other side of the street, please understand. You have wives, sisters, mothers, daughters, and you'd want them to be safe too.
     
    4 people like this.
  32. Aug 26, 2013
  33. GrandMaster

    GrandMaster Ueber Meister CAG

    Occupation:
    Mathematician by day, online gambler by night.
    Location:
    UK
    You must register/login in order to see the link.
     
    3 people like this.
  34. Aug 26, 2013
  35. GGW Laurie

    GGW Laurie Dormant account webmeister

    Occupation:
    Self Employed
    Location:
    In the Beautiful South !!

    As I stated it is worth reading, even for those with short hair !
    Rape is Rape and any info that can be put out to the public to bring awareness as to protect themselves should always be heeded.

    It brought alot of debate to the forum for which many are women members and those that have wives and other female family members.

    It is all about protecting yourself:thumbsup:

    Laurie
     
    2 people like this.
  36. Aug 26, 2013
  37. PNEFOREVER2

    PNEFOREVER2 Senior Member MM

    Occupation:
    Parcel Sorter.
    Location:
    Preston,lancs
    Jesus, I thought "lets have a look on CM, see if there's any threads to brighten my day and wash away those Monday blues".
     
    2 people like this.
  38. Aug 26, 2013
  39. just play

    just play closed account

    Occupation:
    Director of Home Operations
    Location:
    USA

    Go down a few threads and have a look at "British tv comedies" ;)
     
    2 people like this.

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