Thinking of going all in?

dionysus

Good(w)ill Ambassador
CAG
MM
Joined
Apr 27, 2009
Location
the land of snow and maple syrup
I......won't....call you a dullard; but.........
People do not CHOOSE to be addicts.Noone wakes up and says, Hey, I'd enjoy a fucked up kind of life
It's a sliding scale...a trail...a slippery slope......a world of things you might or might not have control over.
Genetics, hereditary, nature, nurture....welllll...life
It's...... a life dealt, whether cards are dealt to you or you stack the cards
But once, you're in that hole....what does kindess cost?
Help....or well....fuck off, yanno?
 

Jeroensgambling

Newbie member
Joined
Nov 17, 2021
Yes, and i believe that people have to hit rock bottom, in order to see, and change their life accordingly the way they want and should.

Alcoholics, drug addicts, gamblers, the ex patients all have bin there, and woken up and started to make steps forward. The ones who gave up, or did'nt wanted to, well thats nature as well in a bit. A dying animal just finds it spot to die in peace.

It's the only way of ever escaping that shit. You've made a mistake, aight, your still alive, your breathing, you have your assets, you have food, your kids are happy, find a reason to keep you going and just dont let go. Give your life a meaning, rather then sunk into a deeper spiral of shit that will eat you up.
 

Mr_Slot5

Senior Member
Joined
May 6, 2019
Location
Cheshire
But once, you're in that hole....what does kindess cost?
Help....or well....fuck off, yanno?
đź‘Ť

It can be draining helping someone with issues but it’s also mega rewarding. Maybe we’re a rare breed Dion but I personally reap much more joy helping people and being a decent person than I ever would get from any amount of money or personal gratification.

It doesn’t even have to be intensive help for you to do your bit. Let me tell you, a number of years back I was on my knees with anxiety which was in turn causing depression. I remember having to have the dreaded talk with my boss because it was starting to impact on my working life. I sat and spoke to him…from that day on the first thing he’d do when I saw him was smile and ask how I was doing. Something as simple as that instantly made me feel so much better believe it or not.
 

dionysus

Good(w)ill Ambassador
CAG
MM
Joined
Apr 27, 2009
Location
the land of snow and maple syrup
You're, I'm, sorry to say....wrong
Good natured people help BEFORE friends and fam hit rock bottom
And look, I AM from a family of die hard (AND died) alcoholics) - so you don't wait until someone hits rock bottom, you help them, before they fall into the fucking hole, when or where able so they can still, crawl out
Sure, can't always. Do people always, listen.....no
But trying costs.........nothing

Noone should hit the bottom of the well, before help
HELP where, you are able, before then



caveat > of course, noone should sacrifice their own lives before another's. But a kind word, some metric, wont go amiss
 

Jeroensgambling

Newbie member
Joined
Nov 17, 2021
Let me tell you, a number of years back I was on my knees with anxiety which was in turn causing depression.

I think the hardest battle i fought, was against myself and my body, as i can relatie to anxiety or hyperventilation. The amount of times my heartrate just went up sky-rocket out of nowhere. The amount of times i struggled taking a simple walk. The amount of times i called the ambulance because i ate something like salami and suffered heart burn thinking it was a heart attack. Every day i have to convince myself and this is proberly like a uphill mount everest battle type of shit that i'm FINE and my condition, health and everything around is perfectly normal. It's just that, anxiety leads to several complications you really cant put a finger on on why it's happening.

But as time passed by and i never really gave, the battle against my own, i got stronger out of this. And quite well to be honest. I walked the stairs earlier today up to 7 floors because my cat sneaked outside of it. I did'nt pinch doing it and it was another motivation to KNOW i'm conditionally fine where before my body would even struggle making 5 steps already due to this anxiety. The culprit i narrowed down for myself was a bit too much of my own succes in running my own business. I had to adept and spread my time and effort more balanced, while even working more productive then ever.

And since then things are going pretty much well for me. Knowing i overcome a battle that is proberly one of the toughest i can pretty much take onto anything at this point in life. People have to discover themself, the quality's or strenth people do have and start working on it. Once you discover you can be disciplined, you'll understand that you can walk more easy away from gambling in the first place. If gambling is constantly 24/7 in your head, it means that it has a grip on you and your mind, and you need to step back.

If you think depositting 200k in less then 24 hours is the right thing todo, you need to seek help. Because in my understanding risking pretty much your savings for you, your wife and your kids is the most ridiculous thing you could do here. But it's not the end. You have perspective, for some reason you accomplished gaining 200k on your own here already so the loss you could perhaps even double if you just put some motivational shit in your work and just dont look back at gambling.

Most gambling addicts are fortunate in the first place. Because money for some reason keeps coming back in a way to sustain a long term gambling addiction. Replace that gambling addiction with something else, and i think quite alot of people would be back on track and perhaps even more wealthy then they where ever before. Think about it.
 

Jeroensgambling

Newbie member
Joined
Nov 17, 2021
Kindness is'nt going to bring you anything mate. Putting work in problems you are facing or have to deal with is the best answer to quite alot of folks having an addiction in the first place.
 

Mr_Slot5

Senior Member
Joined
May 6, 2019
Location
Cheshire
I think the hardest battle i fought, was against myself and my body, as i can relatie to anxiety or hyperventilation. The amount of times my heartrate just went up sky-rocket out of nowhere. The amount of times i struggled taking a simple walk. The amount of times i called the ambulance because i ate something like salami and suffered heart burn thinking it was a heart attack. Every day i have to convince myself and this is proberly like a uphill mount everest battle type of shit that i'm FINE and my condition, health and everything around is perfectly normal. It's just that, anxiety leads to several complications you really cant put a finger on on why it's happening.

But as time passed by and i never really gave, the battle against my own, i got stronger out of this. And quite well to be honest. I walked the stairs earlier today up to 7 floors because my cat sneaked outside of it. I did'nt pinch doing it and it was another motivation to KNOW i'm conditionally fine where before my body would even struggle making 5 steps already due to this anxiety. The culprit i narrowed down for myself was a bit too much of my own succes in running my own business. I had to adept and spread my time and effort more balanced, while even working more productive then ever.

And since then things are going pretty much well for me. Knowing i overcome a battle that is proberly one of the toughest i can pretty much take onto anything at this point in life. People have to discover themself, the quality's or strenth people do have and start working on it. Once you discover you can be disciplined, you'll understand that you can walk more easy away from gambling in the first place. If gambling is constantly 24/7 in your head, it means that it has a grip on you and your mind, and you need to step back.

If you think depositting 200k in less then 24 hours is the right thing todo, you need to seek help. Because in my understanding risking pretty much your savings for you, your wife and your kids is the most ridiculous thing you could do here. But it's not the end. You have perspective, for some reason you accomplished gaining 200k on your own here already so the loss you could perhaps even double if you just put some motivational shit in your work and just dont look back at gambling.
I think he knows full well that depositing 200k wasn’t the right thing to do. You alone have reminded him of this fact about a dozen times.

I know you want what’s best for him but give him some time now to sort things out and reach out to people if he feels he needs to. With a bit of luck he has a good support network and eventually he’ll shrug this off.

Sorry to hear of your own issues by the way. I know how debilitating chronic anxiety can be. Glad you got over it.
 

Jeroensgambling

Newbie member
Joined
Nov 17, 2021
I think he knows full well that depositing 200k wasn’t the right thing to do. You alone have reminded him of this fact about a dozen times.

We all need a motivation otherwise any effort put is simply lost.

I know you want what’s best for him but give him some time now to sort things out and reach out to people if he feels he needs to. With a bit of luck he has a good support network and eventually he’ll shrug this off.

Yeah well i did'nt rely on certain things in finding what works for me. Public health or services are not really top of the line quality if you ask me. It's either professional help if you need certain coaching or guiding thats tuned for your needs or you seek for paving the path yourself. Tough but very rewarding way in my opinion.

Sorry to hear of your own issues by the way. I know how debilitating chronic anxiety can be. Glad you got over it.

For some i might be inspirational, others dont give a shit. At the end of the day it's how i feel about it, and what thrives me in moving forward and accomplishing things i never could even imagine before.
 

neon claws

Non-Gambler
Joined
Jan 5, 2020
Location
Australia
I've heard both sides of the tough love/rock bottom argument plenty of times, I've been here before and the thing with rock bottom is unless you actually snuff yourself there's always potential for a new low.

I can appreciate most of the arguments being made here, like I said this isn't my first time or account here and they've all ended similarly, although not so catastrophically in terms of dollar value, but I think a lot of the anger from some people is because they see themselves, or at least a potential version of themselves in this behavior and need to deny it could ever happen to them.

In terms of my mindset at the moment; I'm getting by, I still have two young kids and a wife to take care of, all with COVID, which is a handful, and my business- which is by design isolated financially from my grasp, and I am focusing currently on using the Sinclair method to kick the booze, then after that I will be investigating any remaining treatments available for my psychological issues, once healthcare manages to recover somewhat in Australia.

I am not offended by people preaching at/to me unless it is done in a mean spirited away as those pm's from a few pages were.. even those I mainly felt sorry for someone to be able to have such vitriol for another human.

Anyway sorry this is all a bit rushed I'm real short on spare time, both kids are screaming, as usual, and all my posts need to be mod approved so likely come in long after the arguments are concluded.

E: I know I sound rather blasé about the whole thing but that is because, well I am- I've done this before, I know about how many days the self loathing lasts, then gets buried and eventually the old urges resurface, it all unfolds in about the same timeframe. So even though the idea of drinking or gambling at the moment makes me feel physically ill to the point I haven't been able to eat in at least four days, I know that soon enough I will be thinking about it again as just one beer or $100 for whatever reason or stress my mind concucts.

And so; so so so- what to do?
Well, for me the only thing that has ever worked is the Sinclair method- extinction of the hardwired reward systems accumulated over a lifetime.
What this means in practice is that I take a pill, wait an hour, and then have a beer.
Except the beer now tastes like water, or worse, makes you sick.. surprisingly quickly your brain unlearns decades of ingrained habitual abuse.
Solving the alcohol problem is of course only half the battle- but I like to think it will, combined with existing safeguards, be enough to finally realize that if I can't win with a $200k deposit what's even the point, I'll never win that back.
 
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Casinomeister

Forum Cheermeister
Staff member
Joined
Jun 30, 1998
Location
Bierland
...Anyway sorry this is all a bit rushed I'm real short on spare time, both kids are screaming, as usual, and all my posts need to be mod approved.
I'm removing your account from the moderated posting group so you can post freely now. Cheers!
 

neon claws

Non-Gambler
Joined
Jan 5, 2020
Location
Australia
Just.......leave the site, man
Do you
come back in 6 mo
Find...YOU
and if, needs must.......a better perspective , ya :)
Yes that's my plan, I figured there wouldn't be anymore posts today and that would be it but there was a couple pages I felt deserved a response and as mentioned a few times it's important to try and help others out-
It's unlikely but maybe seeing this thread will make someone think twice about going full self destruct.. also having somewhere to vent is important and if I posted any of this on my Facebook I'm pretty sure my friends/family would have me committed or murdered.
 

Jeroensgambling

Newbie member
Joined
Nov 17, 2021
You know, talking with people about your gambling issues, to people who dont gamble or never bin there, is like talking about your addiction to a non-addicted. It will usually leave you with standard answers. I think it's best you come in here once in a while and post any of the positive things you've done or accomplished. It can guide or help perhaps others. This thread is'nt only for those who comment here.
 

casguy2016

Full Member
Joined
Aug 30, 2016
Location
Canada
I wish my wife and me could get kids. Unfortunately that isn't reality. Whatever happens remember....whether you may or may not think it they need you. Get help. Best of luck.
 

Kingks

Newbie member
Joined
Oct 29, 2017
Location
nrwich
I couldn't save 10K let alone 100K or anywhere near that any attempt to save I gamble I'm just totally stopping well trying too, if you can save that you can do it again. Put it in past, valuable lesson. It's hard but set some goals and stick to them
 

neon claws

Non-Gambler
Joined
Jan 5, 2020
Location
Australia
I couldn't save 10K let alone 100K or anywhere near that any attempt to save I gamble I'm just totally stopping well trying too, if you can save that you can do it again. Put it in past, valuable lesson. It's hard but set some goals and stick to them
I was like that for most of my life also- up until a few years ago I started a fairly successful business which allowed me to keep gambling more or less as much as I always had but also put a decent amount into savings, and the crypto market boom certainly helped.

Anyway I guess I'll give a status update; after a big bust like this, what some people would call rock bottom, I usually actually feel better for about five days (aside from the immediate day after)- I think because my brain can finally say I don't even WANT to drink or gamble anymore, which is just a huge relief. Of course you've got the self loathing and regret to deal with but that starts fading away around about this point too, when your brain doesn't immediately dismiss the idea of a drink or a deposit anymore. Eventually a stressor will be introduced which will serve as justification for just that one drink, which then disinhibits your gambling behavior.
So I'm aware I'm now at that point and so will again be taking naltrexone via the Sinclair method to alleviate the urges as required, I'm expecting to have to do this for 3 to 6 months before urges are brought completely to extinction.

The main trick with this method is introducing other healthy habits on the days you are not taking the drug.
 
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