The finest of the "fine print" explained

SlotsWizard

Dormant account
Joined
May 11, 2006
Location
North of Antarctica
Bored, I decided to compile a list of fun sayings, rules, etc. from various online casinos for your viewing pleasure. :D

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- Don't try to mess with their servers:
Our servers are located in highly secured rooms under 24-hour armed surveillance
That's gotta be a boring job, unless there are lots of people trying to break in to their server room.

Link Removed ( Old/Invalid) - In case anyone was wondering why they didn't get paid, it's clearly written in the T&C:
Any winnings made while the account had a positive balance will be forfeited and the deposit will be returned.

By the way, have you ever noticed how rogue casinos always have ambiguous sayings such as the following one currently displayed at Cool Cat:

Old Attachment (Invalid)

New players who get suckered into their site, wanting to gamble, will of course interpret it "the good way", however, the casino's staff and the rest of us know what it really means. Eventually that player will too (and they'll come here to complain about it). Get the "Royal Treatment" at Cool Cat - that couldn't be more accurate. :rolleyes:

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7.4 You hereby warrant and represent to us that you are not classified as a compulsive gambler
Classified by whom? Oneself? Someone else? Is there a manual outlining the criteria for such a classification? And why wouldn't they want compulsive gamblers donating oodles of money to them?

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With Grand Prive companion, you'll always be up to date with whatever is up, hot and happening at any of the illustrious Grand Priv online casinos. Best online casino.
What the heck is up with that? "Best online casino." It reminds me of Kevin Nealon and his Subliminal Commentaries on Saturday Night Live. I know it's there for the search engines, but still. And what's up with the ridiculous and relentless "Make winning beautiful" campaign? Is winning normally ugly? How about a "Make losing beautiful" campaign - that would grab people's attention.

Old / Expired Link - from the Frequently Asked Questions
How do I withdraw?
You don't need to withdraw your winnings at the end of each session
Are you serious? I don't have to wait 5 months for a rubber check before I logoff? How convenient!

Okay well I guess that's all... I'm tired now and ought to go to bed. I was hoping to make a big magnificent post like johnsteed used to make but this doesn't even compare. Where is johnsteed anyway?
 

Christoff

Dormant Account
Joined
Oct 6, 2006
Location
Spain
How do I withdraw?
You don't need to withdraw your winnings at the end of each session

At least it doesn't say that you can't withdraw your winning at the end of each session!
 

steinhaug

Senior Member
Joined
Feb 21, 2006
Location
Norway
Cool Cat Casino
Any winnings made while the account had a positive balance will be forfeited and the deposit will be returned.

Ummm.... My brain goes a little numb by reading that statement, it sounds to me that if you accually win more than your deposit unless your very last spin will become void if you try to withdraw. Incredible.
 

SlotsWizard

Dormant account
Joined
May 11, 2006
Location
North of Antarctica
Ummm.... My brain goes a little numb by reading that statement, it sounds to me that if you accually win more than your deposit unless your very last spin will become void if you try to withdraw. Incredible.
To be fair, I took that sentence out of context. Here is the actual paragraph, completely uncensored: :D

In cases when the account has a positive balance (any amount over $0), a cash out must be requested before a new deposit is entered. Any winnings made while the account had a positive balance will be forfeited and the deposit will be returned.
 

GrandMaster

Dormant account
Joined
Jan 21, 2004
Location
UK
I am still wondering what the reason could be for this condition. Was Cool Cat hit by an organised band of bonus hunters depositing money while they had positive balances? It is not the only nonsensical term. Here is another one:
"Bonuses for specific games cannot be used on any other game, not even after having met the wagering requirements. If money is used on a different game(s) then all winnings will be voided."

In other words, if you withdraw and re-deposit, at additional cost to the casino, you can play any game you like, otherwise your winnings will be voided.

Most of these conditions are excuses for the casino to void the players' winnings, which shows what their main concern is.
 

SlotsWizard

Dormant account
Joined
May 11, 2006
Location
North of Antarctica
I am still wondering what the reason could be for this condition. Was Cool Cat hit by an organised band of bonus hunters depositing money while they had positive balances? It is not the only nonsensical term. Here is another one:
"Bonuses for specific games cannot be used on any other game, not even after having met the wagering requirements. If money is used on a different game(s) then all winnings will be voided."

In other words, if you withdraw and re-deposit, at additional cost to the casino, you can play any game you like, otherwise your winnings will be voided.

Most of these conditions are excuses for the casino to void the players' winnings, which shows what their main concern is.
Indeed, they make no sense. And what exactly do they consider to be a positive balance? Sounds stupid I know, but let's say you bet your last $100 on a hand of blackjack, and were dealt 11 vs. the dealer's 6 (you should double). If you deposit another $100 at this point so that you can double, are you considered to be depositing while you have a positive balance since you haven't technically yet lost the $100 you initially bet?
 

steinhaug

Senior Member
Joined
Feb 21, 2006
Location
Norway
Most of these conditions are excuses for the casino to void the players' winnings, which shows what their main concern is.

I would very much agree, sounds like bad arguments to void it all. They could use your reasoning for why they did it though, you never know with bandits like this.

The agony... Taking a bonus for Good to Go, wagering $90 and getting all scatters. A cool $20.000 roughly... Then, you forget... And before you rememeber you wagered $1 on "Life's a beach"... Ohh... The agony!
 

lojo

Banned User - repetitive violations of <a href="ht
Joined
Jan 18, 2007
Location
USA
I am still wondering what the reason could be for this condition. Was Cool Cat hit by an organised band of bonus hunters depositing money while they had positive balances? It is not the only nonsensical term. Here is another one:
"Bonuses for specific games cannot be used on any other game, not even after having met the wagering requirements. If money is used on a different game(s) then all winnings will be voided."

In other words, if you withdraw and re-deposit, at additional cost to the casino, you can play any game you like, otherwise your winnings will be voided.

Most of these conditions are excuses for the casino to void the players' winnings, which shows what their main concern is.

As an 'outside' observer, you know damn well Virtual has been hammered.
What came first the chicken or the egg?
So what?
Where does it go from here.
 
Last edited:

winbig

Keep winning this amount.
Joined
Mar 10, 2005
Location
Pennsylvania
To be fair, I took that sentence out of context. Here is the actual paragraph, completely uncensored: :D

In cases when the account has a positive balance (any amount over $0), a cash out must be requested before a new deposit is entered. Any winnings made while the account had a positive balance will be forfeited and the deposit will be returned.


So if I have every penny riding on a hand of blackjack, and needed to redeposit to cover a double, any winnings will be void? What a joke...
 

cyprean

Banned User
PABnononaccred
Joined
Jul 31, 2006
Location
Sun/Moon
LOL. :lolup::lolup::D:D:lolup: Pretty funny! So true!


I have another suggestion:

Old / Expired Link - from the Frequently Asked Questions

How do I withdraw?

You don't need to withdraw your winnings at the end of each session

As a member of the Fortune Lounge group, we will happily withdraw.. eh.. remove your winnings by simply flagging you as an "abuser". So please try to keep your account balance as high as possible.

https://www.casinomeister.com/casino-reviews/playros/
 
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