1. By continuing to use the site, you agree to the use of cookies .This website or its third-party tools use cookies, which are necessary to its functioning and required to achieve the purposes illustrated in the cookie policy.Find out more.
    Dismiss Notice
  2. Follow Casinomeister on Twitter | Facebook | YouTube | Casinomeister.us US Residents Click here! |  Svenska Svenska | 
Dismiss Notice
REGISTER NOW!! Why? Because you can't do diddly squat without having been registered!

At the moment you have limited access to view most discussions: you can't make contact with thousands of fellow players, affiliates, casino reps, and all sorts of other riff-raff.

Registration is fast, simple and absolutely free so please, join Casinomeister here!

Some advice please? Quit or try to control?

Discussion in 'Quit Gambling' started by bart1981, Feb 16, 2015.

    Feb 16, 2015
  1. bart1981

    bart1981 Quit Gambling

    Occupation:
    manager
    Location:
    Belgium
    Hello,

    About 3 years ago I started playing online slots.. In the beginning it was all fun, sometimes I lost what I could loose, without feeling too bad about the losses. And sometimes I won.

    My biggest single win ever was nearly 5000 euro with a 2 euro stake on Jack and the Beanstalk.. I couldnt believe my eyes!
    But at that point, gambling really became more attractive (addicting) to me. I started playing more and more, and placing higher bets.

    Too make it short, I lost all of my savings money on it. But still I love playing slots, But feel I have to control it somehow. I feel bad about the idea of totally quit and never play a slot again. Even though Im aware that I lost over 20.000 euro which to me is a lot of money.

    I need some advice.. Please..
    What do you guys think? Should I quit immediately? Or first try to control my online gambling behaviour, With deposit limits, etc? And see if this works better for me, because I have already tried to quit before so many times.

    Thankyou for taking to read this, ALL advice is appreciated!
     
    1 person likes this.
  2. Feb 16, 2015
  3. fun4all

    fun4all Senior Member

    Occupation:
    .
    Location:
    .
    First impressions mate : At least you are honest with yourself (most gamblers are not) and that will stand you in good stead long term, as long as you continue to be.

    As for advice it is tough to know what to say mate. You recognise you have a bit of a problem which is good but can you control yourself? In a perfect world you would allow yourself a small deposit once a week with some low stakes slot playing. You could afford that and it would let you enjoy slotting action. However this world is not perfect and would you really be able to stick to that? Only you can answer that and therefore I cannot give any good advice.

    If you genuinely couldn't exercise the self control to do that then just knock it on the head right now. Use your self honesty to answer that question mate and you will have your own answer.

    One thing I will say is you CANNOT control your gambling through forced methods like deposit limits/self exclusion. There is always another casino that will take your action if you are determined. Do not think setting a deposit limit, even one everywhere you have an account, will do any good whatsoever. The control has to come from within you.
     
    7 people like this.
  4. Feb 16, 2015
  5. mina888

    mina888 Experienced Member

    Occupation:
    IT manager
    Location:
    Vancouver, Canada
    Quit

    Control if you can. But If you could control your gambling, you wouldn't have lost your life savings IMO. Once you dig into your savings over and over again to get that same rush when you won 5000, that's called an addiction. You lost your life savings, next you will go after anything of value like your vehicle and property. You are no longer after a small win, but a huge one, which 99% of the time will NEVER happen unless you're one in a billion odd lucky to hit a jackpot. Let's say you do hit the jackpot of 1 million. Do you think you will stop there? No. Because you're still after that rush. You will play just to satisfy your addiction. You will up your bets. You used to get excited with a $2 spin, now your spins are at $100-200 spin otherwise you'll be bored.
    A few weeks back I had the worst time but the best life experience. I won over 13k with a deposit of 200, I cashed out my winnings only to come back and reverse it all. I reversed until I had 0 balance. I've been playing online for 7 years. But only with what I can afford. When I lost 13k of what could go in to my bank savings or a 11 anonymous gifts of 1000 to people in need, that tought me a big lesson. I did a lot of research to figure out why I did what I did. This is what I learned and realized about myself.
    When I win, I get very excited and anxious. There are two parts of the brain. One controls reasoning and logic, the other controls fight or flight. When we get excited and anxious, our reasoning and logic part of the brain goes dormant and fight or flight part becomes active. Meaning you are no longer sane. I wasn't thinking at all. It's like I was someone else. Couldn't stop hitting the spin. Spins of $12 value. (Started with .45p). In 7 years I have won bigger than this, but it was in my bank account a couple days later.
    So why gamble when whatever you win, you gamble it again and some more? Like I said, I still play, but have become a low roller. I play with my entertainment funds and if I win big, I cash out and leave a few in to play the next time I'm bored.
    Only gamble with what you can afford. There are plenty of free game apps you can download. What I'm getting really addicted to now is Soda crush lol. Believe me when I say this, but I get the same rush and same excitements as when I gamble. Only for free. I used to deposit a lot. Now I cut that in half if not less and help out family and friends and anyone who needs it more. Dont lose your life to these multi billion dollar industries. You will never become a millionaire but they will.
    Just my 2 cents.
     
    6 people like this.
  6. Feb 16, 2015
  7. Simmo!

    Simmo! Moderator Staff Member

    Occupation:
    Web Dev.
    Location:
    England
    Fun4All has pretty much said exactly what I would have said. It's good advice but admittedly doesn't answer your question because it's impossible for someone else to do that. Only you know your personality well enough to know the answer.

    The one thing I would add is this: if you are looking for ways to control yourself then the most effective way is restricting your deposit methods *at source* - not at the casino. For example, ditch credit cards and stick to a debit card. Make sure it has a limit attached to it or set up a second bank account with no cards or online banking functionality at all and ensure that your daily needs are met through that.

    If you can get to a point where you only have one debit card* and it only has access to the money you can afford to gamble then you might stand a chance. What it will do is make other things in your life trickier - you will end up working with cash a lot more. If you can't get to that point then I don't think you can control it to be honest as there will always be a way you can gamble in those "odd mad moments" which many of us are susceptible to!

    *E-wallets will allow you to remove funding sources (if you ask) to avoid that temptation.
     
    9 people like this.
  8. Feb 16, 2015
  9. Tirilej

    Tirilej On a Break

    Occupation:
    Breathing
    Location:
    Sweden
    What you and many here often seems to forget when it comes to addiction is what it's doing to not only ourselves, but to those around us. Family and friends.

    It gets too focused on money, which is wrong because money isn't the problem at all.
    Ask yourself why you're doing it and why you can't control yourself?
    What is the trigger and what is it giving me?

    Who else beside yourself are suffering from your behaviour? How much time do you spend where you could have done something else?
    Are your health affected?

    It's about so much more than money.

    You can find a lot of information on the net. Read up about it is my advice.
    You have one life. You control it!

    Good luck whatever you decide to do :)
     
    3 people like this.
  10. Feb 16, 2015
  11. bart1981

    bart1981 Quit Gambling

    Occupation:
    manager
    Location:
    Belgium

    So far, all of your comments have been really helpfull, thankyou so much for that! Its very appreciated!
    I am really aware that I have a problem, I dont deny, but because the urge to play is so strong, I was thinking of a way to control it...

    But, as you say, there will still be (Always be?) those odd mad moments...

    Thanks again, all of you!
     
    1 person likes this.
  12. Feb 16, 2015
  13. Azzurri

    Azzurri Banned User

    Occupation:
    Non of your business
    Location:
    From Foil Land
    Quit now.

    Black list yourself at all sites immediately.

    Trust me when I say I have seen this before, and if you admittedly can't control yourself, then things will go from bad to much worse.

    Yes slots can be fun, but having money left to your name, as well as your dignity, is much funner.

    I've seen a close friend, an otherwise great man, reduced to stealing from his own kids because he couldn't control himself. Something he nor any of us around him could ever dream it to be something he could ever be capable of doing. However, addiction makes people do things they would never normally do, and why? Because they always expect that next big win will cover their losses and be enough to fix the issues they created before anyone realizes. THAT NEVER HAPPENS!

    The fact you have asked us this question, tells me you already know deep down what the right thing is to do, yet you're hoping to be convinced by a group of strangers that you can control yourself.

    Like simmo said, only you know yourself, but your op set off a lot of alarm bells that I've seen the devastating end result of.

    No one thinks they have a problem until it's too late.

    You have been smart enough to acknowledge it could be an issue early, so stay smart, and make the right call now.

    You will never recoup your losses, so move forward and never look back.

    Good luck.
     
    2 people like this.
  14. Feb 16, 2015
  15. conker

    conker Super Moderator CAG MM webmeister

    Occupation:
    Marketer
    Location:
    UK
    Hi Bart1981, I think you were very smart to come and open up here on CM. They say a problem shared is a problem halved, so hopefully you will be able to come up with some positive steps to control the addiction you are feeling.

    Identifiying how much you are down is a good start, as the realisation is sometimes the hardest part. 20k is a lot of money, regardless of how wealthy you are and you probably feel lousy for spending it all. It's important not to give yourself a hard time, better instead to formulate your next steps to preventing any more loss.

    It's clear you love slots, so that is something that will always be niggling away in your head. Maybe as an alternative you could play slots where there is no monetry win attached and instead you are playing to achieve greater status or levels (such as social slots you find on facebook). So you are making small deposits to enjoy a hobby. You could probably limit this to $100 a month, maybe much less I don't know. There are also sites online where you can play in monthly draws, although I couldn't recommend any.

    There have been some good suggestions in this thread about ways to control your spending or ways of setting limits, but ulimately it comes down to you and how much you can beat the triggers in your brain that are encouraging you to gamble.

    I wish you the best of luck my friend.
     
    3 people like this.
  16. Feb 16, 2015
  17. Wild Reels

    Wild Reels Meister Member webmeister

    Occupation:
    IT
    Location:
    United Kingdom
    think its fairly apparent the op know what the correct route is, when you start spending savings to fund the habit its a big issue regardless of the amount, and i think even if you had an amazing win i'm guessing it would all be played back within a few months.

    i would recommend finding some else that gives you the same thrill, when i'm not slotting i play pc games, im currently playing loads of Hearthstone, which is free to play (with in game purchases) its a bit like poker for nerds :)
     
    1 person likes this.
  18. Feb 16, 2015
  19. Azzurri

    Azzurri Banned User

    Occupation:
    Non of your business
    Location:
    From Foil Land
    Just remember that regardless of how strong the feeling to play is, you and everyone else have the power not to if you really focus on it.

    The same mind over matter techniques are applied by people every day to lose weight, stop smoking, quite drugs, etc.

    The subject matter may differ in its severity, but just remember the same willpower techniques apply.
     
  20. Feb 16, 2015
  21. bart1981

    bart1981 Quit Gambling

    Occupation:
    manager
    Location:
    Belgium
    I hope by reading this thread I started over and over again, It might help me at times to find the willpower to really quit. Its that willpower, that sometimes seems so hard to maintain.. Hardest times are when I get salary from work.

    Thanks again!
     
    1 person likes this.
  22. Feb 16, 2015
  23. dunover

    dunover Unofficial T&C's Editor Staff Member CAG PABnononaccred PABnonaccred PABinit mm3 webmeister

    Occupation:
    International Money Launderer
    Location:
    the bus shelter, opposite GCHQ Benhall
    1. Accept the money is LOST and write it off. Don't think 'what if??'.
    2. Total abstinence is the key. No gambling, not even £10.
    3. If you have a partner who understands or is aware, hand over control of your finances.
    4. Change your e-mail account to avoid spam.
    5. Find things to do like gaming, reading etc.
    6. A 'win' to you is simply stake money for next time, so don't be tempted to play at all.

    Ultimately it's in your hands, and every day you don't play is a day nearer overcoming your issues.

    Good luck with your efforts.
    :)
     
    5 people like this.
  24. Feb 16, 2015
  25. Jasminebed

    Jasminebed Closer to 100 than Birth

    Occupation:
    Not in workforce
    Location:
    Ontario
    If you find yourself having a hard time wrestling with the idea of giving it up entirely, commit yourself to a break of at least 3 months. Don't play in fun mode, or free ones on Facebook. You can choose other online games however to fill your time and prevent boredom, or get out and do some stuff instead.

    You want to break that addictive thinking and behaviour. Pretty much all treatment programs for addictions that offer behaviour modification start with a period of sobriety. One of the most successful weight loss programs around starts with 3 months of a medically supervised liquid fast, because this breaks all the addictive behaviours around food, something you don't achieve while eating. It also involves weekly counselling and classes. Another program for alcohol and drugs here aimed at harm reduction starts with six months of sobriety.

    If after 3 months of not gambling, if you still think it will add something to your life, use all the tools out there to help keep you in control. Set limits, write down and stick to cash out goals, use some kind of cash only funding (I use a prepaid card). Pay all your bills on payday, get your groceries, put some into a savings account you cannot access easily, and spend your $25 or whatever.

    If you can't stay on track after resuming, you know it is time to quit entirely. If you never cash out, or cash out only to reverse or redeposit immediately, you are not in control. Time to get yourself to a meeting, and to start self-excluding at casinos.
     
    3 people like this.
  26. Feb 16, 2015
  27. juliepiggott

    juliepiggott Newbie member

    Occupation:
    Occupational Health & Safety Advisor
    Location:
    Australia
    Quit try to control

    Like you I also lost a huge amount of money gambling, I did stop altogether for a while.
    When I started again,I set myself some limits. 1) I ensured that I had only one card that I could use on line, a debit card. 2) I allowed myself a percentage of my income to be placed into this card used specifically for gambling. 3) Any wins were withdrawn from this account and transferred to my savings account. So I only gambled with the set amount allocated each Month.
    It was difficult to stick to this to begin with, but after a few months and a couple of wins i really felt good about holding on to my wins instead of just playing it all back- plus more; as I had previously done.
    This method has worked really well for me, and once the funds are gone I play free tournaments or do something else. Its really just a matter of breaking that cycle where; even though your losing' you keep depositing more and more - in the hope of having a big win.
     
    4 people like this.
  28. Feb 16, 2015
  29. paul7388

    paul7388 Meister Member MM

    Occupation:
    not a lot
    Location:
    glasgow scotland
    You already know what you have to do , its just a case of finding the willpower.

    You have blown all your savings and tried to quit several times. Fact you have asked advice on whether to control it or quit really shows you know the answer already.

    You have to quit before its to late but that's easier said than done. You obviously have a problem gambling so theres no way you will control it unless you quit completely.

    Good luck and hope all goes well.
     
    3 people like this.
  30. Feb 16, 2015
  31. dunover

    dunover Unofficial T&C's Editor Staff Member CAG PABnononaccred PABnonaccred PABinit mm3 webmeister

    Occupation:
    International Money Launderer
    Location:
    the bus shelter, opposite GCHQ Benhall
    So far the OP has lost savings. That is hard to accept and bear and they will be beating themselves up inside. What would be far worse though is to continue and then end up in debt as a result of their issue.
    At the moment they can quit, and save money from now on or use their income as they wish.
    Imagine though carrying the burden of debt over after you quit, and not having the freedom of your income to yourself, but having the double-whammy of both overcoming the draw of gambling AND paying off debt for years.:(

    You are in a relatively good position as I read it compared to some who have destroyed their finances too.
    The hole will seem far, far worse should you continue and do it via credit.
     
    4 people like this.
  32. Feb 16, 2015
  33. bruinsdude

    bruinsdude Senior Member MM

    Occupation:
    Marketing
    Location:
    Canada
    Firstly, congrats on recognizing the predicament you find yourself in, and for taking steps to finding a solution. Over half the battle is won already.

    I can only offer insight from personal experience. I have had a gambling problem since a very young age. As a paperboy at the age of 10, they would have telephone order days. With any sale of a new customer on those days you could phone a telephone hotline with your orders, get the prize associated with that number, take it or gamble and risk it all for a Bike or a TV. Huge prizes for a 10 year old. I was immediately and forever changed.

    At age 18 a land based casino opened in my city, and there went the student loan payments. Legalized sports betting at age 19 in my area. My mother and father met at the horse racetrack, and still go there. My mother took me to Bingo for my 16th birthday. Bottom line, gambling is everywhere and easy access to boot where I live.

    I have lost everything and then some on more than one occasion. I have barred myself for periods from months to years from the land based casino over the years. I discovered online gaming over 10 years ago, and with that I have had better luck controlling myself for some reason. Maybe because stopping, for minutes hours or days, is as easy as a click of an X and you do not have to pass 100 machines on your way to the door LOL.

    All I can say is that I have found MY happy medium when it comes to gaming. I know I have a problem, and it is truly like a controlled game of Russian roulette every time. All has gone well, but one mistake and BANG!~
    If you can abide by a few simple rules that you create to protect yourself, you could have success controlling your gaming, but there is always a risk of faltering, and discovering a new "rock bottom". Nowadays several factors are in play that were not there years passed.....such as Limits, Manual Flushing, Controlled banking methods etc. You can set a daily or weekly deposit limit at a lot of places. Good casinos will flush your withdrawals withing mere hours, assuring that you replenish your gaming funds from time to time..... and if you disable any credit/debit card options on your accounts that can help too. Make it so you need to physically go out and buy a Ukash or Paysafe each time, kills any urges to chase the elusive "double up" to make all you money back for that day....that fails 9/10 times haha.

    Bottom line is that if you view gambling online as anything other than entertainment you pay for that is not always cheap, and that that money is disposable, you may consider taking steps to curtail or totally eliminate gambling access for yourself for a period of time.
     
    2 people like this.
  34. Feb 16, 2015
  35. Azzurri

    Azzurri Banned User

    Occupation:
    Non of your business
    Location:
    From Foil Land
    I appreciate your honesty here, and some great advice. :thumbsup:
     
    1 person likes this.
  36. Feb 16, 2015
  37. KasinoKing

    KasinoKing WebMeister & Slotaholic.. CAG MM PABnonaccred webmeister

    Occupation:
    House-Husband and Casino Advisor
    Location:
    Bexhill on sea, England
    QUIT.
    It's a no-brainer really.
    You have admitted that you have tried before and that you CAN'T control yourself. There is no shame in that.
    You have blown away all your savings - you will NEVER win that back - to try would be total folly.
    The only sure way to get back on your feet is stop ALL gambling and occupy yourself with a completely different (cheap or free) hobby and start saving your pennies again.

    Good luck :thumbsup:
    KK
     
    1 person likes this.
  38. Feb 18, 2015
  39. bart1981

    bart1981 Quit Gambling

    Occupation:
    manager
    Location:
    Belgium
    Hi guys,

    Thanks again for all your reactions, personal experiences and good advice!
    When I posted this thread I didnt really care if anyone would read it or reply to it, but all those replies makes me feel a little bit less alone in my problem.

    In my country, Im already excluded from all land based and online casinos. When I gamble (on foreign websites, which i still have access too) I use a debit card, because I threw away my credit card about a year ago. Im also in therapy for a few months already.

    Its getting better, but I feel Im far from there. Because gambling is (still) always on mind. Thats why I thiought about quiting in a different way then I tried before.. First control it, then quit.

    But after reading all this Im not sure if this is a good decission...
     

Share This Page