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PARAPROSDOKIANS

Discussion in 'The Attic' started by harrys99, Jun 13, 2012.

    Jun 13, 2012
  1. harrys99

    harrys99 Dormant account

    Occupation:
    Bar Business/Office Management
    Location:
    Wherever I Want
    You must register/login in order to see the link....

    (Winston Churchill loved them) are figures of speech in which the latter part of
    A sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected; frequently humorous.


    1. Where there's a will, I want to be in it.

    2. The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on my list.

    3. Since light travels faster than sound, some people appear bright until you
    Hear them speak.

    4. If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.

    5. We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.

    6. War does not determine who is right - only who is left..

    7. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit
    Salad.

    8. They begin the evening news with 'Good Evening,' then proceed to tell you why
    It isn't.

    9. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.

    10. Buses stop in bus stations. Trains stop in train stations. On my desk is a
    Work station.

    11. I thought I wanted a career. Turns out I just wanted paychecks.

    12. In filling out an application, where it says, 'In case of emergency,
    Notify:' I put 'DOCTOR.'

    13. I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.

    14. Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a
    Bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.

    15. Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful
    Man is usually another woman.

    16. A clear conscience is the sign of a fuzzy memory.

    17. You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive
    Twice.

    18. Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with..

    19. There's a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they can't
    Get away.

    20. I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not so sure.

    21. You're never too old to learn something stupid.

    22. To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the
    Target.

    23. Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.

    24. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

    25. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a
    Garage makes you a car.

    26. Where there's a will, there are relatives.

    And my favorite is.........





    27. I'm supposed to respect my elders, but its getting harder and harder to find one to look up to now.
     
    3 people like this.

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