Nooooooo......!! Please no!

Its appeal I suppose is masochistic - if you imagine combining the worst aspects of dross-karaoke shows like the poX-Factor or BGT with bizarre national folk music traditions and their respective national costumes along with over-egging performers and a large dose of embarrassment then you have the ingredients.

For 3 hours you can watch through your fingers as you cringe at the whole debacle when Cyprus gives Greece 12 points, Austria gives Germany 10 points and everyone gives the UK fuck-all points (apart from maybe 2 or 3 points in sympathy from Norway or Australia.)
 
You can imagine the meeting…

Germany: “You know Ukraine are going to win no matter what do t you?”
France: “Of course”
Germany: “Well they aren’t going to be able to host it next year so who does?”
France: “Runners up I guess.”
Germany: “That could be any of us though.”
Spain: “Sod that, have you seen how much that costs to host? Not a chance”
Italy: “Count us out as well”
Germany: “Well we always release a dreadful song and we’re pretty unpopular so we’re good but I get you.”
France: “Tell you what, why don’t we all vote for the UK? Should be able to get them second no matter what?”
Germany: “Love it. As a bonus they’ll think we like them again! Genius”
All: “Salut!!”
 

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