Need to let off steam

[amourgirl]

Contains the *F* word (twice actually) so if you are offended....

I haven't said anything publicly, just one to or two personally, but sometimes you just want to scream out loud to tell the world & sometimes you just want to keep it all inside.
Well It's a screaming moment!

I crashed my car on Friday which it turns out a lot more damage than I originally thought. (I was only one in car and I am not hurt except maybe my pride) but understandably my other half has done his nut over it. I am ignoring him and trying to see it as a way to tell me I should really think myself very lucky because....

On the 2nd December 2017 last year I sadly lost my aunt to cancer and my dad lost his only remaining sibling. A couple of days before, I had a call to tell me my aunt's spinal cancer is in fact terminal lung cancer, (She hid it from everyone as she didn't want anyone to say i told you so as she was a smoker) anyway they asked if i could I get to the hospice ASAP. The cancer had taken over her body, i'd never seen someone look so different and age so much in such a short space of time. Just the following morning after I had seen her she sadly passed away.

20 days later on the 22nd December 2017 I then lost my beautiful sister also to lung cancer. She had fought off Breast cancer previously and been given the all clear but it returned and had now had spread to her lungs. She was diagnosed terminal Christmas 2016 and given 2 years, but the cancer couldn't even give her that. It took her life within the year and just 3 days before Christmas.
She was the kindest most generous selfless person you could ever meet and at just 41 she leaves behind a gorgeous young family and a heartbroken sister. Her funeral was just 2 weeks ago and I miss her terribly!

Don't get me wrong, I am very grateful for what I do have - my children are healthy and the fact my car crash was just that - a crashed car. But what I don't have still fucking hurts. Part of me died the day my sister did!

#FUCKCANCER

​

 

[Mouche12]

Oh amourgirl these are some big blows, my condolences for your loss. Cancer is a big fucking disease, even people living the healthiest of lives get killed by it, regardless of age.

 

[amourgirl]

Opposite ends of the spectrum, my aunt smoked all her life and my sister had a "clean living" lifestyle i.e no chemicals where possible and natural foods etc.
My dad who is older than his sister smokes twice as much for a lot longer and her is still going strong! I just don't get it!

 

[Borgie]

Amourgirl. I am so sorry. Life is very unfair. My best friend has terminal lung cancer - like your sister - she has lived a clean healthy life style, no smoking, healthy food, exercise and only the odd drink. Her reward the bid "c" , she will leave a husband 2 children and 2 young grandchildren. None of us know what life has in store for us. So go make up with your other half , spread love today as who knows what tomorrow brings. Much love x

 

[ed skull murphy]

That is so sad darlin', I kind of know where you are at, because I am still reeling from a fairly recent double bereavement myself. I've been drinking ever since, and I was tee-total for a couple decades, but for me at the moment, it softens the blow.

There are a lot of things we can do to avoid cancer, but we are never informed about them, not from the mainstream sources anyway. You have to do a bit of digging on the internet to find the good information, but this guy would be a good place to start:

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[trancemonkey]

That is so sad darlin', I kind of know where you are at, because I am still reeling from a fairly recent double bereavement myself. I've been drinking ever since, and I was tee-total for a couple decades, but for me at the moment, it softens the blow.

There are a lot of things we can do to avoid cancer, but we are never informed about them, not from the mainstream sources anyway. You have to do a bit of digging on the internet to find the good information, but this guy would be a good place to start:

You do not have permission to view link Log in or register now.

You're seriously throwing conspiracy theories about cancer in to this thread? Jeez...

Amourgirl... it's a very sad story and I'm sure all if us here at CM wish you all the very best. Cars can be replaced... people can't. Cherish every day with everyone.

TM

 

[KasinoKing]

Thanks for sharing and deepest condolences for your losses

KK

 

[Harry_BKK]

That is a very sad series of events. My sincere condolences!

 

[Borgie]

That is so sad darlin', I kind of know where you are at, because I am still reeling from a fairly recent double bereavement myself. I've been drinking ever since, and I was tee-total for a couple decades, but for me at the moment, it softens the blow.

There are a lot of things we can do to avoid cancer, but we are never informed about them, not from the mainstream sources anyway. You have to do a bit of digging on the internet to find the good information, but this guy would be a good place to start:

You do not have permission to view link Log in or register now.

Not the time or the place !

 

[greylady]

You can scream and shout all you like on here, it sounds like you have every right.

Having lost my Dad to pancreatic cancer last year and my loveable hound to bone cancer, I understand only too well the impact this disease can have on anyone - I know for me I only had to recall their last weeks of life and it helped knowing they were in a better place but only time will help heal how much you miss them and you still have all the special memories to console yourself.


It sounds like you need a big {{{hug}}} and take time to heal

 

[ed skull murphy]

Not the time or the place !

This is certainly not the kind of thread to get controversial, but I recently lost both my parents, and it hurts like hell.

Informing people about how to avoid cancer is a positive thing, as far as I am concerned... you may have a different opinion, but that is you, I guess.

 

[geordiecolin]

A huge big hug goes out to you from me Amour. That was very sad reading. Most of us have been hit with loved ones effected by cancer and it leaves me with a constant niggling dread of it hitting another loved one. My heart goes out to you x

 

[amourgirl]

Thank you for your lovely messages, when they say 1 in 3 know someone who has been affected by cancer I think they underestimate the numbers.
I have drawn incredible strength from my brother in Law and nephews they have been so brave, they all believe she is looking down on them, and that's how they cope I guess. But my brother in law although grieving, says he is just so grateful for the 25 years they had together (they were together from the age of 15)
that strength keeps me going for the main part but then when I go to text her or call without thinking, that's when the pain is like a knife in the heart.
Life's logic is just illogical.

 

[Chipkin9]

My sincerest condolences Amour. I had no idea you were going through this much.

I lost probably my closest uncle last January to Pancreatic Cancer (He was diagnosed February/March 2016)...still hard to believe and really surreal to not have his ugly face around any more, he was 52 I think.

As a previous "Functional" alcoholic myself it was a real eye opener at just how quickly this cunt of a disease can deteriorate a loved one and take them away. I now only drink 3 or 4 times a month.

Fuck Cancer!

 

[Harry_BKK]

Thank you for your lovely messages, when they say 1 in 3 know someone who has been affected by cancer I think they underestimate the numbers.
I have drawn incredible strength from my brother in Law and nephews they have been so brave, they all believe she is looking down on them, and that's how they cope I guess. But my brother in law although grieving, says he is just so grateful for the 25 years they had together (they were together from the age of 15)
that strength keeps me going for the main part but then when I go to text her or call without thinking, that's when the pain is like a knife in the heart.
Life's logic is just illogical.

Amourgirl, I grew up on a small farm in a very rural area of Romania, a country considered by many at the time as 3rd world country. In all 15 years I spent there I can remember maybe one or two cases of cancer, and there were quite a few drunks, heavy smokers etc in the village and surrounding region. But then we had no running water (crisp, clean water from our own well), raised our own animals which we slaughtered on a "need to have" basis, grew our own veggies and fruits, etc. I emigrated in 1984 to Germany and in 1990 after the wall came down the vast majority of the German population of Transylvania followed.

Now here comes the kicker. In the past 10 - 15 years, the number of people from my village, who live now in Germany, dying from cancer has risen to far above 50% of all deaths. Question comes up, why the sudden rise? Is living in our "advanced" Western world really that unhealthy?

Unfortunately, it has become a "normality" that people are leaving us far too early due to cancer, the harsh reality of our present world.

As for drawing strength, when my mom passed away so suddenly last November, my little son turned to me and said: "No worries daddy, she is in heaven now and you got me now instead". Had tears flowing down in a split of a second. Again, my sincere condolences and wishing you the strength to see you through. Your in-law is right, be thankful you had the honor of knowing her for the years that were given to her.

 

[geordiecolin]

I strongly believe that pesticides,herbicides and antibiotics in animals as well as artificial additives and preservatives in food have a heavy responsibility in the rise in cancers.Not forgetting the chemicals in so many products we use in personal hygiene,plastics and fossil fuels.
As far as Harry's Countrymen's case is concerned my guess is that the ratio of those dying of cancer could possibly be attributed to their lack of immunity/tolerance to those things I mentioned above which folk from many Countries have built a partial resistance too due to exposure from an early age.
I guess that Cancer is at least partially the result of "progress!"

 

[sufferinsilence]

My condolences, so sad to read.

 

[lockinlove]

Amourgirl, I grew up on a small farm in a very rural area of Romania, a country considered by many at the time as 3rd world country. In all 15 years I spent there I can remember maybe one or two cases of cancer, and there were quite a few drunks, heavy smokers etc in the village and surrounding region. But then we had no running water (crisp, clean water from our own well), raised our own animals which we slaughtered on a "need to have" basis, grew our own veggies and fruits, etc. I emigrated in 1984 to Germany and in 1990 after the wall came down the vast majority of the German population of Transylvania followed.

Now here comes the kicker. In the past 10 - 15 years, the number of people from my village, who live now in Germany, dying from cancer has risen to far above 50% of all deaths. Question comes up, why the sudden rise? Is living in our "advanced" Western world really that unhealthy?

Unfortunately, it has become a "normality" that people are leaving us far too early due to cancer, the harsh reality of our present world.

As for drawing strength, when my mom passed away so suddenly last November, my little son turned to me and said: "No worries daddy, she is in heaven now and you got me now instead". Had tears flowing down in a split of a second. Again, my sincere condolences and wishing you the strength to see you through. Your in-law is right, be thankful you had the honor of knowing her for the years that were given to her.

Part of the reason I left the city life and now live in a very small town is the pollution and emissions. You ever sit in a traffic jam that occurs numerous times a day in a city. Roll down your window and breathe in, you can smell the fumes from the vehicles.. your body is taking that crap in a few times a day. People take it for granted and accept it as oh well it part of life. Which okay yes it is but just because its true doesnt make it safe.

You add in the garbage they put in our food, drinks and water, its no wonder our insides are like wtf I cant handle this. I do not drink tap water, I can taste the chlorine if I do. I use a water cooler and buy jugs of spring water.

I have done things to give myself and family a chance at least. Nice big vegetable garden with nothing applied to the soil or the plants. I grow my own raspberries and asparagus too. Too bad thats mostly summer months.

Cancer can get the healthiest person too but there are things you can do to lower your risk.

Sometimes life is really messed up and unfair. 2 years ago my aunt and grandmother were both diagnosed with breast cancer....within a month of each other. wow. My aunt was very unhealthy and a very heavy liquor drinker and my grandmother was old in her 80's.

Both beat it but a year later they both died anyways. My aunt died from a massive heart attack and my grandmother died from old age. I assume the beating cancer took a toll on her an sped up her time.

And sometimes its almost like when life is ready to take you its just ready. Look at the Toronto shootings. A bunch of people whi survived the attack died weeks and months later of unrelated causes. Sure is strange how things work.

Do what you can and enjoy what you do because who knows what tomorrow brings you

Armour, we all get down in the pits cause sometimes life is shit. It knocks you to your knees, its all about how you get back up and keep on trucking through. Think of the things you enjoy in life, the smell of spring, the sunshine..whatever makes you happy and just keep on truckin'. You got this.

 

[senatorsNHL]

Life can chew you up and spit you out at times.

Sending you virtual hugs. I hope things get better.

 

[Dinahnana]

My deepest condolences Amourgirl. I have had many Aunts and Uncles die of cancer as well as co-workers. I had two siblings that got cancer and both recovered so or that I am grateful. It is a terrible disease. Hopefully someday soon they will have a cure for cancer, what a beautiful world that will be. You have been through so much Amourgirl so scream shout and throw things all you want.

 

[Supababe]

Cancer is a Bitch! Especially lung cancer which gets you so fast there's little time to slow/get rid of it (I lost my dad to it within 3 months of diagnosis).

The only comfort I found I could take from it all was that you knew that you were on borrowed time, you knew to cherish the time, say what was needed to say....prepare (if that's even at all possible). I appreciate that I was able to do this with my Dad (as opposed to a sudden loss e.g heart attack, which would have been even harder).

Tough times often hit together, dig deep, find that inner strength that I know you have, hold you little ones close and your nieces/nephews even closer and count the years together with your sister as a blessing - (many of us have never experienced the love of a sister).

and guys....trancemonkey speaks sense (dont tell him i said that) when he points out that here isnt the place to theorise over causes....it offers little comfort to someone so newly bereaved.

 

[Jasminebed]

A big hug from me. Give your dad one from me too. There been a lot of loss in my life, but hopefully I'll never know the pain of losing my child. We are all hear whenever you need to mourn or vent.

 

[funnymunny]

@amourgirl - my thoughts are with you...

May I also be so bold as to suggest all of us at the Meister meet next week spare a moment to raise a glass to members, friends and family that are no longer with us. We may not have known them all, but they've all shaped the lives of those around us and made our lives (and the forum) what we are and it is today. I for one certainly say "cheers" to that.

 

[zellie]

My condolences Armourgirl xx

 

[amourgirl]