My father passed away today from Cancer.

I am so sorry to hear about this. My mother was recently diagnosed with breast cancer so I know that the fear alone is bad enough. I really hope that you and your family can make it through dealing with this loss, and my prayers are with you. Take care.
If someone don't cry for you does that mean that he doesn't love you? I see you associate pain as a confirmation of your loving someone but that isn't something I agree with.

If i were to die and be able to look at those left behind I wouldn't like it at all if they were depressed fpr me. That's not love, that's addictive sentimentality.

Actually, I just happen to be a person with very strong feelings, my love runs deep and my heart breaks when someone I love is lost. I'm sorry you don't see it that way, and to be honest, I wonder how many loved ones you've lost. I'm not saying my loved ones who've passed want me to be depressed and crying constantly, however, at first, that's just how it is. Having lost my grandma 4 months ago I can still say there's many times where my heart breaks all over again for the loss. And absolutely no one can tell me it's not normal, it's called grieving and its a natural human process with no time line. It has nothing to do with being addicted to anything, it is because I love her and she's not here, plain and simple. A heart that loves is a heart that will eventually break. Human nature for most. For the rest, perhaps they are lucky. Perhaps not.

We're going to have to agree to disagree, and I hardly believe this is the right post or even the right forum for this discussion.
If someone don't cry for you does that mean that he doesn't love you? ...

what you are saying is that crying/grieving are necessary for it to be love. what they were saying is that grieving is sufficient to show love. G implies L, but NOT(L implies G) in formal logic (i can't do the symbols in here). :cool: common fallacy.

other side of the coin, a prescriptive norm (suggesting lhm ought to grieve/let it out, whether it is to show love or to preserve the psyche) cannot properly be introduced, as it is true that crying/laying flowers/whatever 'typical' grieving gesture might not be beneficial to every single person and other things (perhaps burning in effigy or self-mutilation) might give more relief to some but would certainly not be passed on as prescriptive 'ought-to' advice.

but charitably, the intention was not to recommend a certain course of action or represent the connotations of those actions to a scientific certainty, but only to validate the feelings of lhm and help provide some sentiment/relief with respect to the loss that occurred. to try and refute one's anecdotal wisdom in a case such as this is both very faux pas, and also not even necessary as the advice was not given in a persuasive manner (to demonstrate the truth of the claim or to prove the suggested course of action was favourable or necessary) but simply to give a point of view and a bit of sympathy. let's all agree to disagree.

LHM, very sorry to hear. it is such a terrible disease. i have two recent cancer survivors in my family, and my grandfather passed away 5 years ago in october from cancer as well. i dealt with it with very little grieving, he meant very much to me but as many have said when you see them in the hospital, you know that their body doesn't have much left and that living within such restricted confines and in continual pain is not really living. that said, it is staggering to lose a loved one, but the mere fact that it does hurt us inside and that we commune and sympathise and indirectly feel what we have not personally witnessed/experienced is part of our nature as human beings. of that we can be sure.
Thanks Everyone. We all are truely a family here at casinomeister. The reason I chose this name (LHM), was because I knew when we found out want type of cancer he had. It would take the work of the Lord to spear him. He fought for 3 years from a cancer (liver) that normally kills you within 8 months. On top of that he had lung cancer also. I really miss him and hope to continue to be strong throughout this. Even though Im grown (32 years of age). I dont know where I will go for wisdom and advice. He always was there for me whether I was RIGHT or WRONG!

You guys are my family also and this is where I come to vent off or ask my questions. Most of you have respected me, while others have expressed their comments in a strong manner. I love you guys here!

Real sorry to hear about the loss of your father Lord_Have_Mercy. I dread the day that my father passes away. I am real close to him as you were to your father. Take it one day at a time and remember all the good times.
So sorry sweetie,
He is in a better place now, and not in anymore pain.

I understand how you feel as my Father passed away suddenly in April of this year. The world seemed to move in slow motion in the months that followed.

Please try and be strong. I promise you the pain will slowly fade, and as time passes you will find yourself thinking of the happy memories you had of your Father. He will always be by your side even though you cannot see him.

I would like to thank everyone for the kind words and support. My father fought liver cancer for over 3 years. I remember taking him to the Hospital in Atlanta when they first discovered the tumor on his shoulder blade. And now he's gone. The night before he passed. I fed him breakfast and dinner. We sat up and talked about politics and shared a few moments. My mother arrived later and I went over a friend's house to spend the night (I had stayed at my dad's house for the past 5 days). My father was very active up til last week. A guy from hospices came by and told me that he didnt think my father would make it through the night. But the next day he was up and walking, he even went and fixed him something to eat and drink. It seems like he was doing his normal routine even though he was very weak and frail. The next day was when we sat on the couch and talked like father and son. Death wasn't a topic, though we talked about how he fought this type of cancer for 3 years. The next morning my mother called me and told me to come quick my father wasn't responding to her calling his name. I went over and called his named he responsed by opening his eyes but quickly drift back off. I tried to give him some green tea to drink. But to no avail he just couldn't responsed. I then called hospices who quickly arrived and check his vital signs which was 50/50. The lady told me he was resting comfortably and was in no pain. And that he could pass anytime maybe 3 or 4 days from now. After telling her thank you and that it wasnt no need for her to stay, she left. We then called all of his brothers and sisters and they came over. I went to the mailbox to get the mail because cars was blocking it when the mailman was pulling up. I grab the mail and turned around and my uncle comes out the door and says "HE'S GONE!". I was his only child.

Thank you all for your support!
Sincere condolances

I have been away from the computer for a few days and just read your post.
I want to offer my sincere condolances. There is nothing I can say to make you feel any better. I've been down the same road, so I know. My prayers are with you and your family.
I am sorry to hear of your loss.

I Lost my father to cancer in January, and my father in law a few weeks prior to that. Cancer is a horrible thing. I was very close to my father also. Not many men can say that their dad was their best friend. That is something to be proud of, and I am sure you have many good memories.
It will be very tough, but take comfort in the memories.
Its really saddening. However, these things will ultimately happen to everybody and actually you can be real proud of him as he fought such a prolonged battle against his nemesis. May he rest in peace and away from the suffering of the last 3 years.
Indeed...sincerest condolances for your loss. I had a very good friend of mine succumb recently to cancer. He complained he was always tired and went to the Doctors and they gave him 3 months to live. He was 41. His wife and 3 young daughters are left to carry on.

I hope the sun shines your way again soon.

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