misc from Slotster!

Slotster!

I predict a riot.
Joined
Oct 17, 2004
Location
Location, Location!
I was often thrown out and banned from fruit machine arcades for being "too good" at playing the machines. At least there is some merit in this, the games are not random, so can be beaten:D Any online casino toying with the idea of making their software non random should beware of the Brits:p

Apologies for the OT, but any idea how the online fruit machines at MG Casinos work? I had to do the dreaded uninstall/reinstall last week to get the new games to fully load (it worked FWIW) and noticed the UK Style Fruit Machines have their own directories in the MG folder - that's probably something to do with it?
 

Slotster!

I predict a riot.
Joined
Oct 17, 2004
Location
Location, Location!
Just to add a little something else (I only remembered this when I was looking through the Winner Screenshots thread the other day)

I made a sizeable (four figure) withdrawal once from a casino. Not only did they process it quickly, they chucked a few hundred quid into my account to say 'congratulations' and to play with in the meantime. Of course that keeps me at their place and, the psychology when you've just won big, of course I'm going to deposit some back when my freebie runs out.

Wondering if the CM awards should have a "Casino's That Think It Through Properly" Category.
 

Slotster!

I predict a riot.
Joined
Oct 17, 2004
Location
Location, Location!
These were culled from What casinos usually mean when they say..., too OT for an otherwise interesting thread which was developing nicely.

Ha ha! Trust me to pile in and eff it up! :lolup:

I feel all self conscious and obliged to post something now. Right - how about this, just received from Intertops. Strong contender for WORST PROMOTION / BAD TASTE CONTENDER OF 2012 to date:

---
Take action now and claim your bonus!

Dear

Martin Luther King was a leader and an activist that changed life as we knew it. He “Had a Dream”…

Take action now and make your dreams come true! Use the Martin Luther King 50% deposit bonus up to $100* to get started.

Enter the following coupon code in the "redeem coupon" section of the casino cashier before making your deposit:

DREAM2012
---

:eek2:

I mean, seriously. What next? Sink your winnings into our cruise ship bonus?

Can anyone beat that?
 

vinylweatherman

You type well loads
Joined
Oct 14, 2004
Location
United Kingdom
Ha ha! Trust me to pile in and eff it up! :lolup:

I feel all self conscious and obliged to post something now. Right - how about this, just received from Intertops. Strong contender for WORST PROMOTION / BAD TASTE CONTENDER OF 2012 to date:

---
Take action now and claim your bonus!

Dear

Martin Luther King was a leader and an activist that changed life as we knew it. He “Had a Dream”…

Take action now and make your dreams come true! Use the Martin Luther King 50% deposit bonus up to $100* to get started.

Enter the following coupon code in the "redeem coupon" section of the casino cashier before making your deposit:

DREAM2012
---

:eek2:

I mean, seriously. What next? Sink your winnings into our cruise ship bonus?

Can anyone beat that?

Oh YES:eek:


Some years ago, a "certain rogue casino group" offered an autumn 911% bonus to it's players. I bet you can guess what historic event this was inspired by:rolleyes:

This display of bad taste has never been beaten since, and is pretty unlikely to be beaten in the future.
 

Seventh777

RIP Roy
Joined
Sep 28, 2010
Location
Planet Tharg, dark side, where nothing grows.
Oh YES:eek:


Some years ago, a "certain rogue casino group" offered an autumn 911% bonus to it's players. I bet you can guess what historic event this was inspired by:rolleyes:

This display of bad taste has never been beaten since, and is pretty unlikely to be beaten in the future.

Ah yes, the day the laws of physics were rewrote by Bush, Cheney and co, in particular Sir Isaac Newton`s: The Universal Law of Gravitation, conservation of momentum a huge pointer here :p.
 

Nifty29

Dormant account
Joined
Jun 20, 2001
Location
Turn right, then right. then right again
Ah yes, the day the laws of physics were rewrote by Bush, Cheney and co, in particular Sir Isaac Newton`s: The Universal Law of Gravitation, conservation of momentum a huge pointer here :p.

I assume you're referring to the effect of Newtons Law on their knuckles...

Funny how some people's knuckles have a much higher attraction to the ground isn't it?

Quick derail...

Re: your fool and her knickers....

I once when I was younger at uni, I was at a house party and managed to score a comfy double bed for the night and had a nice lass join me, quite innocently let me say as we were friends. I told her, when I realised that she was wearing a t-shirt and her 'Mars and Snickers' , that I was really embarrassed, but I had an extreme allergy to polyester and cotton and that if I even accidentally brushed her during the night I would break out in painful hives and have an asthma attack.

She was such a thoughtful caring girl, that she removed her garments and said "its only because I trust you". Heh heh. You can finish the story I'm sure.

Nice girl, but not that bright, considering the sheets were polyester cotton and I'd been wearing cotton shorts and t-shirt all night. I like to think that she knew all that but played along, but "a fool and her knickers are soon parted".....

(NB Female members should not read the story above. You have been warned)
 

Seventh777

RIP Roy
Joined
Sep 28, 2010
Location
Planet Tharg, dark side, where nothing grows.
I assume you're referring to the effect of Newtons Law on their knuckles...

Funny how some people's knuckles have a much higher attraction to the ground isn't it?

Quick derail...

Re: your fool and her knickers....

I once when I was younger at uni, I was at a house party and managed to score a comfy double bed for the night and had a nice lass join me, quite innocently let me say as we were friends. I told her, when I realised that she was wearing a t-shirt and her 'Mars and Snickers' , that I was really embarrassed, but I had an extreme allergy to polyester and cotton and that if I even accidentally brushed her during the night I would break out in painful hives and have an asthma attack.

She was such a thoughtful caring girl, that she removed her garments and said "its only because I trust you". Heh heh. You can finish the story I'm sure.

Nice girl, but not that bright, considering the sheets were polyester cotton and I'd been wearing cotton shorts and t-shirt all night. I like to think that she knew all that but played along, but "a fool and her knickers are soon parted".....

(NB Female members should not read the story above. You have been warned)

Wow, that`s an understanding girl. Mucho kudos for that, damn that`s smooth and beats hands down my `Bet ya a tenner I can`t remove your thong.......with my teeth` approach.
:notworthy:notworthy
 

Slotster!

I predict a riot.
Joined
Oct 17, 2004
Location
Location, Location!
Oh YES:eek:


Some years ago, a "certain rogue casino group" offered an autumn 911% bonus to it's players. I bet you can guess what historic event this was inspired by:rolleyes:

This display of bad taste has never been beaten since, and is pretty unlikely to be beaten in the future.

Awesome.

Someone, somewhere sat down and thought "I know what's a great idea..."

I felt a bit uneasy about one of the bigger groups donating some money to the Tsunami fund as well, but they promoted it in a kind of sleazy way i.e "Make sure you spend as much as possible over the next few days as we'll be donating 10% to etc etc"... Dunno, just kind of came across as wrong. Just give them some money instead.

911 bonus is a cracker though; up there with the legendary All Slots "gambling will stop you from killing yourself" promo. Genius.
 

KasinoKing

WebMeister & Slotaholic..
webmeister
PABnonaccred
CAG
MM
Joined
Aug 25, 2004
Location
Bexhill on sea, England
She was such a thoughtful caring girl, that she removed her garments and said "its only because I trust you". Heh heh. You can finish the story I'm sure.

Nice girl, but not that bright, considering the sheets were polyester cotton and I'd been wearing cotton shorts and t-shirt all night. I like to think that she knew all that but played along, but "a fool and her knickers are soon parted".....

(NB Female members should not read the story above. You have been warned)
I don't think that last bit was really needed - there's nothing wrong with getting into a nice lady's knickers...
I just hope my wife doesn't actually catch me wearing them! :p

KK
 

hoggdaddy1

Dormant account
Joined
Dec 31, 2011
Location
usa arkansas
hoggdaddy1

Wow, that`s an understanding girl. Mucho kudos for that, damn that`s smooth and beats hands down my `Bet ya a tenner I can`t remove your thong.......with my teeth` approach.
:notworthy:notworthy

well it seems to me that you may have diffaculty in the wemon dept. if you have to blow smoke up someones axx and play poor me,then you may be the one that has to have a bag on your head and the light out.this just shows me and other people with class that you are a dog with no taste.
 

Nifty29

Dormant account
Joined
Jun 20, 2001
Location
Turn right, then right. then right again
well it seems to me that you may have diffaculty in the wemon dept. if you have to blow smoke up someones axx and play poor me,then you may be the one that has to have a bag on your head and the light out.this just shows me and other people with class that you are a dog with no taste.

You're right.

Only classy people would say "blow smoke up someones axx" and call someone "a dog with no taste"

Now if you'll excuse me I have to go smoke some weed in my trailer.
 

vinylweatherman

You type well loads
Joined
Oct 14, 2004
Location
United Kingdom
well it seems to me that you may have diffaculty in the wemon dept. if you have to blow smoke up someones axx and play poor me,then you may be the one that has to have a bag on your head and the light out.this just shows me and other people with class that you are a dog with no taste.

You have to make allowances, he's from Essex:p
 

mattsgame

Meister Member
webmeister
CAG
Joined
Sep 17, 2009
Location
Out Of Town
well it seems to me that you may have diffaculty in the wemon dept. if you have to blow smoke up someones axx and play poor me,then you may be the one that has to have a bag on your head and the light out.this just shows me and other people with class that you are a dog with no taste.

What's a joke?


On any note, doesn't matter what Seventh777 wears, says or does they will still charge him for it.

Thanks for the laughs guys..
 

Seventh777

RIP Roy
Joined
Sep 28, 2010
Location
Planet Tharg, dark side, where nothing grows.
I don't think that last bit was really needed - there's nothing wrong with getting into a nice lady's knickers...
I just hope my wife doesn't actually catch me wearing them! :p

KK

I use to wear ladies underwear for the best part of a year, when several ex`s ago found a matching French knickers and suspender set with fishnet stockings on the bedroom floor, and she asked `Who the hell do these belong to?` and I sheepishly replied `Me` :oops:.
 

chayton

aka LooHoo
webmeister
PABnonaccred
CAG
Joined
Jun 5, 2006
Location
Edmonton Canada
I use to wear ladies underwear for the best part of a year, when several ex`s ago found a matching French knickers and suspender set with fishnet stockings on the bedroom floor, and she asked `Who the hell do these belong to?` and I sheepishly replied `Me` :oops:.

That reminds me....

A successful rancher died and left everything to his devoted wife. She was determined to keep the ranch, but knew very little about ranching, so she decided to place an ad in the newspaper for a ranch hand. She hires one, and within a couple of weeks, the ranch is running smoothly and he's doing a great job.

One Saturday night, the widow said to the hired hand, "You have done a really good job, and the ranch looks great. You should go into town and kick up your heels." The hired hand readily agreed.

One o'clock came, however, and he didn't return. Two o'clock and no hired hand. Finally around two-thirty he comes stumbling into the ranchhouse to find the rancher's widow sitting by the fireplace with a glass of wine, waiting for him.

She quietly called him over to her.

"Unbutton my blouse and take it off," she said.

Trembling, he did as she directed. "Now take off my boots."

He did as she asked, ever so slowly. "Now take off my socks."

He removed each gently and placed them neatly by her boots.

"Now take off my skirt."

He slowly unbuttoned it, constantly watching her eyes in the fire light.

"Now take off my bra." Again, with trembling hands, he did as he was told and dropped it to the floor.

"Now the panties," she said, staring directly into his eyes, "and if you ever wear my clothes into town again, you're fired."
 

Slotster!

I predict a riot.
Joined
Oct 17, 2004
Location
Location, Location!
Filth. The lot of you.

I'm outraged.

Maybe you should all we gainfully employed in casino marketing departments?..

Any way, on to more pressing matters:

Most users ever online was 9,414, 27th March 2010 at 12:34 PM.

What the hell happened on the 27th March 2010!???

Those 'special' photos of Nifty were posted when the superinjunction got lifted?
KasinoKing upped his bet to more than £1 a spin?
Someone won at Keno?

What did I miss?
 
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