Luigi810
Dormant account
- Joined
- Aug 16, 2008
- Location
- Philadelphia
GA is where I belong, I just got done reading the GA page and I am sick to my stomach. How can I be so stupid, how could I have lost so much money, how could I hurt my family, this pain is unbearable. I read all the signs of a gambler and I fit everyone to a tee, why was I so blind. I'm 42 years old, I had so much money from an inheritance, I had no mortgage, no credit cards, no car payments and now I sit hear with a mortgage, and a car payment and no one to blame but myself. I was doing so good with my wins, cashing out, paying off credits cards, etc. and it sucked me right in, I won so much and now I sit here and see what I really won, "nothing" The more I won the more I played and when I lost I needed money to play so I turned to the good old refinancing the house. What the hell was I thinking. How could I have been so stupid. I sit here and read some of the threads and I want to be sick, I just joined last night to put in a complaint about 2 casinos (which are true, so stay away), and the more I read the more I hate myself. I don't like me right now, I'm not sure if I'm glad I found this site or happy that I realized before it's really to late, if it's not to late already. How do I get back all I lost, my self esteem, my dignity, how do I get it all back. How do I not go back to gambling, how do I lose this urge. I know it's killing me but yet I'm gonna miss the rush of seeing those 4 of a kinds pop up, they are so hard to get and when I got them, oh boy, not to mention the royal flushes at 25.00 a hand, yet the weird thing is I would rather see the 4 of a kind only winning 800.00 then to see the royal and winning 25,000.00, what the hell is my problem. And now I sit here reading all about the terrible casinos and how a lot of casinos don't pay you, plus I just went through the same thing with 2 casinos and I still want to play. I am so confused, so frustrated. I use to get so mad at my dad when he gambled and now I sit here and do the same. I hated him for it and now I hate myself. I hope I make it through this, I can always make the money I work very hard but will I ever get past the pain of guilt? thanks for hearing me vent, I needed it