I know it's not a big deal but.....

[bigjohn]

The short story is I'm back, for the long story please read on.

I realize I made some mistakes, I revealed some character/personality faults that I have but the truth is I miss interacting with the many nice people I have cyber-met here. My biggest mistake was leaving when the going got tough for me (and when I was getting more friend requests in a single day than ever before, TY very much). Some of you stuck your neck out for me and I feel like I let you down. For me that is the the thing I fear the most (more so than someone stuffing words in my mouth) that I let someone down who supported me.

Am I reading too much into it?

Probably so.

Now the long story.

This is the first forum community I have ever tried to be a part of, I'm a more personal type of guy. I'm used to face to face negotiating. No one should misconstrue that to mean I want to fight everybody I disagree with or vice versa, actually, it's quite the contrary. If I'm having a discussion with group of friends and someone starts 'pushing buttons' it is much easier to read the correct course of action when expressions and body language are evident.

I was accused of 'taking it personally'. If you read a few of a certain member's posts you will clearly see they are loaded with personal jabs and insults. When someone attacks me personally I take it personally.

I would like to relate an experience from when I was following my nephew's College Wrestling career which resembles what has been going on here for a while (I have read this forum a lot longer than I have been a member).

Occasionally we would find ourselves in the same venue with the Maryland Terrapins. They had a 'fan' who, to opposing fans, seemed to be the nastiest, most obnoxious guy you would never want to meet. He would say things that seemed tailored to individual opposing fans so as not to sound too bad to the general public but which would really bother his particular 'target'. It was uncanny. People that were on his side would say, "He's really a nice guy...." Underneath all the rhetoric and jabs and insults he may well have been.

The Terrapins originally welcomed him because he generated excitement for their team but his attitude to those who disagreed with him was so acidic that he ended up really damaging his team and the sport as a whole. The Terrapin's home matches were more and more populated only by Terrapin fans. Finally they started discouraging him from being so nasty and acidic and personal. Turns out the man was a retired lawyer (who did some really good things) turned professional heckler named Robin Ficker (google it if you have time) who in the past had worked for the National Basketball Association.

There is still quite a debate among wrestling fans about whether he was paid by the Terrapins to be there or was he there of his own accord.

Either way, when one person or viewpoint decides who is comfortable in a given environment you eventually end up with a very monolithic society. If that is what is accepted here than I am probably just spinning my wheels. I feel that everyone who joins a group of any kind bears a certain amount of responsibility for that group as a whole, the longer you are a member of said group the more responsibility you have.

I have only been a member here for a short time but I have spoken up when another member was, IMO, being wrongly hassled.

I would like to thank anyone who read through this entire post and I hope to continue to add to discussions here with my individual viewpoint and appreciate other viewpoints when they are presented as such.

BTW, I stand by everything I have said here in the past and there is no member here I would not be willing to meet up with for a couple of drinks or a rousing run at a buffet in Atlantic City or Vegas should the opportunity ever present itself.

Now I gotta get to work repairing my profile page and trying to rebuild my friends/contacts list should you guys/gals accept me back.

 

[asadzareef89]

Welcome Back BigJohn

Shouldn't worry about other people's opinion about you as they are not the ones that matter in ur life

Hope you have fun and keep sharing your experiences with us

 

[mrmark21]

Welcome back I understand where your coming from but sometimes it's not worth the time or energy. This forum is a great recourse for gamblers dont let anyone else ruin that for you. Have fun

 

[incrediblestuff]

Well, truth be told, i had not realized you were gone?
And despite missing the dramatic events that have lead you to leave in the first place, i think it's safe to assume your welcome
to "return" even disregarding the post you just made

It's a great forum, with unique members, some warmer and fluffier then others, some more active and engaged, others
straight and to the point, without wasting words, some straight and to the point, with a pinch of judgement added.

Some are just being funny, on even the most unexpected topics, some just silly, or plain dumb and worse ^^.
Luckily the latter seem to disappear from the forums quickly, so we are left with interesting people overall.
Everybody makes mistakes, me being the exception of that rule p)
It takes a good man, or woman to come clear and say your sorry!

I am saying welcome back, in case you hadn't noticed.

 

[dionysus]

lol, ive no idea what (if anything) you or others did, so im good

 

[Nifty29]

For those who don't know....

It's all about the OP taking his bat and ball and storming home, using a totally bogus "I was personally insulted blah blah".

What he deliberately ignores is that he was being particularly unsociable, just like when he first joined. I gave him the benefit of the doubt, and got it wrong.

He's right....it's not a big deal...at all. It's a "poor me" post combined with a "I hate Nifty he made me feel bad" tirade.

You're an adult. Get over it. I have. Nobody forced you to leave. You decided to make a public announcement that you were leaving, presumably for dramatic purposes. If you wanted to leave, you could have just left.

The "story" you told about some heckler dude is totally irrelevant. For a start, that guy is forcing opinions upon you....in a forum, he would be ENTITLED to express it freely, so long as it was within the rules. If you're gonna talk nonsense, im going to call you out. Just the same, I'm happy to (and do) debate quite civilly with reasonable people and their informed points of view.

If you want to stay...stay. If you want to leave....leave. I don't care....but don't make it anyone else's fault, because that is both ridiculous and immature.....as is making announcements when you do them.

 

[mrmark21]

Do you think you could possibly give him a break Nifty? I feel for the guy. He didnt mention your name once in his post. His come back to get on with things. His just come back to explain things. No one would even know who his talking about (as seen above). Do you think you could perhaps give it a rest just this once?

 

[Mouche12]

Well, if Nifty's warm welcome back won't make you feel right at home again, I don't know what will...

 

[skiny]

The short story is I'm back

Welcome back. You must have left after one of those threads that are already 22 pages long by the time I get here. I figure you're all getting along fine without me and move on to the next.

Now I gotta get to work repairing my profile page and trying to rebuild my friends/contacts list should you guys/gals accept me back.

You broke your profile page? How mad did you get?

Well, truth be told, i had not realized you were gone?
And despite missing the dramatic events that have lead you to leave in the first place, i think it's safe to assume your welcome
to "return" even disregarding the post you just made

It's a great forum, with unique members, some warmer and fluffier then others, some more active and engaged, others
straight and to the point, without wasting words, some straight and to the point, with a pinch of judgement added.

Some are just being funny, on even the most unexpected topics, some just silly, or plain dumb and worse ^^.
Luckily the latter seem to disappear from the forums quickly, so we are left with interesting people overall.
Everybody makes mistakes, me being the exception of that rule p)
It takes a good man, or woman to come clear and say your sorry!

I am saying welcome back, in case you hadn't noticed.

I'm a warm and fuzzy poster.

Warm and fuzzy because the thermostat's way over on the other side of the room and if I'm not walking that far I'm sure as hell not walking all the way to the bathroom to shave.

 

[skiny]

So the fight continues?

 

[Nifty29]

Do you think you could possibly give him a break Nifty? I feel for the guy. He didnt mention your name once in his post. His come back to get on with things. His just come back to explain things. No one would even know who his talking about (as seen above). Do you think you could perhaps give it a rest just this once?

Sorry...he knows and many others know who he's talking about. He just didn't have the ..... to say it.

Tell you what Mark....how about you go back and read some of his stuff, and see if you feel the same way.

I expressed an opinion, which I assume is what the OP wanted given they made a brand new thread about it. So, I'm done as I've said all I wanted to say. Just wanted to inform you that this is NOT a case of "heckling" or "bullying/insulting" as the OP would have you believe....he gave as good as he got.

 

[LaurieJim]

Welcome back bigjohn !!

Being on a forum can be difficult sometimes as you have your veiws and some will agree and some will not , this is the beauty of a great forum with good peeps , if we all agreed this place would be boring as heck, sometimes we just have to agree to disagree and move on to another topic.

Laurie

 

[mrmark21]

Sorry...he knows and many others know who he's talking about. He just didn't have the ..... to say it.

Tell you what Mark....how about you go back and read some of his stuff, and see if you feel the same way.

I expressed an opinion, which I assume is what the OP wanted given they made a brand new thread about it. So, I'm done as I've said all I wanted to say. Just wanted to inform you that this is NOT a case of "heckling" or "bullying/insulting" as the OP would have you believe....he gave as good as he got.

See why couldnt have you made that your original post Nifty without the jibs and jabs? Dosent that feel better?

I read the other thread after I made my original comment on this thread. What I took from that thread is people can say some negative things during the heat of the moment. I guess reading some of the things that youve posted Nifty on other threads its easy to know what your going to say before you say it. But here's this person trying to explain himself (which cant be easy) and there you are talking down to him for it. I just dont think its right.

Well, anyway thanks for explaining yourself Nifty as it defenitly sheds some more light on things.

 

[Casinomeister]

I took this thread at face value without researching anything else - like most members would do. I did not see this as taking jabs at any certain members. @ nifty - I didn't see this as a "I hate Nifty" thread, so there was no reason to come in getting all riled up.

Let's have a chillin' weekend, folks. Thanks!

 

[jetset]

Nifty's comment about departing with the flourish of an announcement resonates with me. Exiling yourself in the heat of anger really works only for the poster making a dramatic exit that in many cases isn't even noticed.

When you post on a forum we all know that you can get good and bad responses due to the many differing personalities and opinions that typically make up a good message board, and we all have to anticipate that as part of the activity; as long as the response is within the bounds of forum rules on abuse or trolling it's acceptable. Also, posting is not a face-to-face activity in a physical sense, which tends to make exchanges more direct and occasionally misinterpreted.

When a confrontation has run its course it's also important for those involved to try and put the issue behind them as an act of consideration for the other members of the community - continuing to snipe or dig up old enmities is rarely constructive imo.

Finally, if a particular poster is spoiling your personal forum experience here you can always resort to the "ignore" button instead of depriving yourself of the excellent company and exchange of information that is always available.

Maybe we can now resume normal programming?

 

[BMWSTACK]

Sorry...he knows and many others know who he's talking about. He just didn't have the ..... to say it.

Tell you what Mark....how about you go back and read some of his stuff, and see if you feel the same way.

I expressed an opinion, which I assume is what the OP wanted given they made a brand new thread about it. So, I'm done as I've said all I wanted to say. Just wanted to inform you that this is NOT a case of "heckling" or "bullying/insulting" as the OP would have you believe....he gave as good as he got.

I didn't know who he was talking about, thanks for letting me know.

Also thanks for informing that its not a case of "heckling" or "bullying". Wouldn't want to see that going on.

I didn't know you were gone John, but your obviously back. Your intro and nifty clarifying some things still has me very uninterested in what happened in the past. All that matters is the forum is still up and running and obviously all of us interesting people make it a great place to visit. Have fun, and remember although some want world peace it still hasn't happened, so please don't expect it to be perfect here, but we are protected at CM from some of the more sinister things in life, for example You have to check WMD's in at the door.

 

[Tirilej]

Happy to see you back John

I'll take you back as a friend here any day if you want to

 

[rena35]

Some of you guys know me and i was invited to come and check out the forum long ago.I too was taken aback by some of the comments i saw and i was reluctant to post.Now i guess im used to it and its true you get negative and positive reply's no matter where you go.I want to extend a big welcome back big john and yes i did notice you were gone.This is the most honest and straight forward forum i know and since joining i have steered clear of some rogue places and their freebies to lure you in.Again glad to see you.Relax and have fun.

 

[Cleveland]

Just for the record the story did paint the guy in a pretty bad light in terms of the effect he had on the team, and I knew who it was directed at as there was only one person whom Bigjohn made another direct post about in the past. I would think any member who reads the forum a lot probably would notice.

That being said welcome back. I believe I sent you a pm requesting you stay on the forums, so this post isn't meant to be ill towards you. I just wanted it to be clear that I reading this post would have took it as an indirect / passive aggressive or whatever type attack on me. Then again I'm paranoid, and 87% sure my dogs are able to talk when I'm not around.

Minus the story though, it would have been different. Just saying.

Point is welcome back.

 

[Cleveland]

Some of you guys know me and i was invited to come

Somebody act like they can't accept my friendship request

 

[rena35]

Somebody act like they can't accept my friendship request

I tried lol i thought it was accepted .I am still finding my way around the forum.Let me know how its done and i will add you.You will be my first friend,then i will know how to add more.

 

[chuchu59]

For those who don't know....

It's all about the OP taking his bat and ball and storming home, using a totally bogus "I was personally insulted blah blah".

What he deliberately ignores is that he was being particularly unsociable, just like when he first joined. I gave him the benefit of the doubt, and got it wrong.

He's right....it's not a big deal...at all. It's a "poor me" post combined with a "I hate Nifty he made me feel bad" tirade.

You're an adult. Get over it. I have. Nobody forced you to leave. You decided to make a public announcement that you were leaving, presumably for dramatic purposes. If you wanted to leave, you could have just left.

The "story" you told about some heckler dude is totally irrelevant. For a start, that guy is forcing opinions upon you....in a forum, he would be ENTITLED to express it freely, so long as it was within the rules. If you're gonna talk nonsense, im going to call you out. Just the same, I'm happy to (and do) debate quite civilly with reasonable people and their informed points of view.

If you want to stay...stay. If you want to leave....leave. I don't care....but don't make it anyone else's fault, because that is both ridiculous and immature.....as is making announcements when you do them.

Nifty,

Cant you just let bygones be bygones. I , for one, would welcome John back with open arms.

 

[Cleveland]

I tried lol i thought it was accepted .I am still finding my way around the forum.Let me know how its done and i will add you.You will be my first friend,then i will know how to add more.

Actually I'm not sure if you did or didn't. I can't search through my friends list right now. I think Bryan mentioned something in another thread about him working on fixing the issue later in the week or month or something.

I'll try to send the request later in the week to be sure


**sorry for the slight derail john, just figured the thread could use a little light heartedness (i know this has to be a word but it's flagged as misspelled.)**

 

[Tirilej]

You can never have too many friends Rena35 so to let you practise on the 'adding' I sent you a request too

@Cleveland You can always check Friends & Contacts in the Community list above. There you'll see them all anyway.

 

[rockycatt]

Im a complete success in the art of running a small business and let me tell you all just a couple of thing's told to me as a rookie
1 you will never make a nickel holding a grudge
2 never give up a profit and you will never go broke
3 there is no I in the word team

any way I am shure if your reading this you can understand it ill quote my self here [ ITS REALY THAT SIMPLE] and john you are welcome back keep up the interesting posts and informative posts you do add to the forum experience

PS proof that im a success is that I started my first business when I was 21 and stayed at it till I was 67 retired a in the game player hands on home remodeler oh and I was a school drop out never went past the 1st year of high school [ I had problems they said ]