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I just want to kick myself right now.

Discussion in 'The Attic' started by cpdnd31, Jan 6, 2015.

    Jan 6, 2015
  1. cpdnd31

    cpdnd31 Ueber Meister CAG webmeister

    Occupation:
    -
    Location:
    where the taxes are the highest
    OK guys here is the story and honestly the worry in me has built up and I need to just let it out so here goes.

    i have a 15 year old son. Some background info. He is not as healthy as other kids. He was born with low NK cells which are your natural killer cells. Meaning if you were to catch strep for example: your NK cells would identify and attack trying to stop the strep before it infects you. Well with my son he needs to get the strep then the white blood cells come out and battle the infection. It makes it very hard for him and hard on his body because it takes longer to heal. Example strep with you would be 3 days with him at least 7. it causes him high fevers and other issues. I have dealt with this with the attitude ok he at least has white blood cells so he is better off then other kids. I am use to the monitoring of him when he gets sick. A cold put him in the hospital one time for 10 days. The flu almost 20 just to give you an idea. OK he is 15 now and is getting stronger not as many illness and finally gaining weight and so on. Now I will tell you why I am upset.

    Right before xmas he started coming down with a cold/congestion. The first thing I had him do was take contacts out. (he just got the contacts last month. Full contacts not just daily disposables for sports). So he was on decongestant. He chest congestion was getting worse so we had to switch him to stronger one. the next day he comes up to me and both his eyes were swollen. he looked like Rocky. I called Dr. not knowing if reaction to new meds or if something else. He said get him to ER to make sure.

    Took him to ER. He tells the nurse it feels like something is in his eye. She argues and says yes its infected. He says no I feel something there. She writes on form infection. OK i looked at her and said look his eye is in pain its swollen if its not reaction to meds can we check to see nothing is in his eye. She says yes but its most likely an infection. I realize at this point there is no point in arguing with a want to be Dr. and when he gets brought back in room I will talk to Dr myself.

    OK Dr. walks in room and says so we have an eye infection. I said no we need to check for meds reaction or something in his eye. He said no its not reaction I think its infection. OK my instinct started at that moment. I looked and said please he is in pain can we check for something in the eye. He said fine and numbed the eye and dyed it -- while he is doing this I had to turn my back to sign a form I missed what he was doing. I AM KICKING MYSELF RIGHT NOW> See he never checked under the lid.

    Now he says ok I see nothing its infection take these drops and if not better follow up with Optomologist. OK This was Friday morning. By Saturday night my son was in extreme pain. We couldn't even turn a light on in house it would hurt so bad. All he did was sleep and wake up in pain. I was gonna bring him back to ER and he kept saying no mom give it another day maybe it will get better. KICKING MYSELF AGAIN> I SHOULD HAVE LISTENED TO MY INSTINCTS>

    Monday morning I call Optomologist first thing when they opened they got him in real quick. Dr looks at a red eye that now has started to bleed with goop and yuck everywhere.
    he numbs the eye puts dye in and finds the piece of contact that broke off dried out and scratched my sons cornea.

    OK how they didn't see in ER because they never looked. Now he has new meds and instructions started them yesterday. 2nd dose this morning son comes in room after 15 min and his right side of face and throat is all swollen. KICKING MYSELF>

    I call Dr and he says OK the eye is fully infected and is spreading continue with meds and Ill see him on Friday. Don't let him near anyone and he needs sleep to battle this. Gives me instructions. Well here is why I'm upset. Now he is in pain. Now he is battling one hell of an infection which for you and me would be OK but for him its pure hell. Now we have to hope the infection goes down and not up because so close to the brain. Now we have to hope the infection and cut does not effect his eye site. This is a nightmare!

    All because one dam nurse didn't want to listen and me being an Idiot and not watching. I know and yes I am blaming myself. I should!!! I knew something was going on. Why didn't I go with my gut. So now I sit here lack of sleep and worried as hell typing this to let out some of the guilt I am feeling.

    I know many of you are gonna say don't blame yourself. I Thank you now for that thought. But it's my job as a mom to watch out for him and I know better especially with him. I have to watch out even harder because of his condition.

    Anyways I am just kicking myself and needed to let it out. Please say a prayer to your God. I know I should be grateful for all I have and I know there are children out there that are even sicker however the next 48 hours can be life changing for him and I think we need all the help we can get right now. Iv'e said to my God please do not let this spread to the brain that would be many long days and nights in the hospital and a very long battle for him.

    Thank you
    Michelle/Chocmartini
     
    18 people like this.
  2. Jan 6, 2015
  3. suzecat

    suzecat Dormant account CAG MM webmeister

    Occupation:
    Retired
    Location:
    California
    Wow Michelle! This sounds like utter chaos for both of you. The good part is that you know to let your mom intuition take over when it wants to. The bad part is a very sick child.

    I have faith your mom skills know what to do. Try to take the best care of yourself -- constant worry and kicking yourself probably is not the best way to go.

    You know we're here for you.:)
     
    2 people like this.
  4. Jan 6, 2015
  5. davdav5678

    davdav5678 Dormant account

    Occupation:
    Architects
    Location:
    ESSEX UK
    Try not to worry your self and don't blame you self either

    sending thought and prayers for you from the uk .

    Get some sleep too :thumbsup:

    Best wishers
     
    2 people like this.
  6. Jan 6, 2015
  7. chayton

    chayton aka LooHoo CAG PABnonaccred webmeister

    Occupation:
    Freelance Designer
    Location:
    Edmonton Canada
    YOU are NOT to blame here. You'd think that the first thing any doctor would have done was to flush his eyes to remove any foreign objects!

    Hope that the antibiotics start working and that he starts feeling better soon. A cool compress (using a clean lint free cloth) might help a bit with the pain, and try to keep him in dark or very dim light, no TV, computer screen, phone etc as any eye strain could just make things worse. A serious eye problem can be scary especially with his condition, but try to stay positive and hopeful that it will all turn out alright.

    Personally I'd contact the hospital where you took him originally and have a good rant at them - it's their fault for missing it, not yours - they're the ones with medical training. It might make you feel better. :)

    Prayers for you all. Hang in there and keep us posted on how he's doing.
     
    1 person likes this.
  8. Jan 6, 2015
  9. justmeglc

    justmeglc Dormant account

    Occupation:
    Unpaid musician and photographer
    Location:
    S(c)lotland
    Hi, I know I've not spoken to you before but my thoughts and prayers are with you, can't imagine what you're going through just now.

    Being a parent is the most difficult thing in the world, I hope you see that you are blameless.

    Hugs and best wishes from Scotland.
     
    1 person likes this.
  10. Jan 6, 2015
  11. QueenBee

    QueenBee Experienced Member

    Occupation:
    Retired, used to be a translator
    Location:
    Denmark
    I feel for you. Best wishes for you and your son...

    / Queenbee
     
    1 person likes this.
  12. Jan 6, 2015
  13. cappync

    cappync Experienced Member

    Occupation:
    Project Manager
    Location:
    Durham, NC
    I think you are being too hard on yourself. I send best wishes your way and hope for the best outcome. Keep your head up.
     
    1 person likes this.
  14. Jan 6, 2015
  15. Cleveland

    Cleveland Meister Member

    Occupation:
    Professional problem solver
    Location:
    Texas
    Except for me :D. It's easy to say but not so easy to do. Fact is many things that might hold a bit of partial truth well stay stuck in your head..."why didn't I check" "why did I turn my back" "why didn't I keep pushing the nurse / doctor." Just because we share a small bit of partial responsibility doesn't mean we could have done anything to change the outcome of what happened.

    Life is taking place, and I know for a fact you're a strong women. You couldn't do the job (both career wise and as a mother) you've done and not be strong. So you will absorb this as "life happening" and you will move forward. Your son will also move forward. He will see you continuing to be strong, and that will naturally become part of him. I'm sure that seed has long ago been planted somewhere deep inside of him, and this is just another watering moment. It should tickle you just a tiny bit to think of how strong of a man he will be when he has his own family.
     
    2 people like this.
  16. Jan 6, 2015
  17. cpdnd31

    cpdnd31 Ueber Meister CAG webmeister

    Occupation:
    -
    Location:
    where the taxes are the highest
    Guys Thank you for the strong words/ I am just tired and weakness got to me. It amazes me how many wonderful people are out there to help someone they have never even met. I got a hour a sleep under me and strong again. Thank you is all I can say.
     
    1 person likes this.
  18. Jan 7, 2015
  19. incrediblestuff

    incrediblestuff SearchingForTheHolyGrail! CAG webmeister

    Occupation:
    Currently: Self employed, Previously: Manager
    Location:
    Mostly the Netherlands
    There's nothing that pisses me off more then unmotivated and/or unthorough Medical personnel, Doctors and Nurses alike, if you don't listen to your patients or their parents, and worse, if they say yeah ok, we will check that out, and then don't, i think they should be sacked, or work a year without pay.. Well that's unrealistic, but at least fined, especially most Doctors as they earn plenty..

    Appalling choc, and i personally blame the Doc much more then the Nurse, she is not the main responsible one, and he even told you he was going to look, what a jerk..

    Not much of a prayer here, but i will sent all the good vibes i can gather across the pond, and hope all is well soon with your son, and hope you and your families worries may be over..
     
    1 person likes this.
  20. Jan 7, 2015
  21. missmichelle

    missmichelle Meister Member

    Occupation:
    homemaker
    Location:
    Tucson AZ
    My heart goes out to you. I know I would be doing the same thing you are doing with the blame game. My family will be saying prayers for you all. Keep us updated and please don't forget to take care of yourself.

    Michelle
     
    1 person likes this.
  22. Jan 7, 2015
  23. rena35

    rena35 Senior Member

    Occupation:
    writing/poetry
    Location:
    cyber space
    I send well wishes and prayers your way. I just went threw a similar situation not long ago and I agree, doctors should listen more to patients.
     
    1 person likes this.
  24. Jan 7, 2015
  25. MaryJean

    MaryJean Senior Member MM

    Occupation:
    Rancher
    Location:
    Northern California
    Michelle,

    My prayers are with you and your son!

    It is good to know that eyes are strangely very resistant to damage.

    That is why they can do so much surgery on them successfully, but be sure you get a very reliable physician.

    That said, you should definitely contact those persons who ignored your situation, but
    do it after his condition has established a definite prognosis.

    If they are not held accountable, at least by a mother's anger, they will still be sloppy for all of their other patients.

    May God Bless you and especially your son with quick healing.

    MaryJean
     
    1 person likes this.
  26. Jan 7, 2015
  27. Tillis

    Tillis Experienced Member MM

    Occupation:
    Site Administration - Online Poker Room
    Location:
    Deep Blue Sea
    I'm kicking the nurse and doctor for you - but am lifting you and your son up for healing and comfort.

    Its awesome that you are keeping your wits about you, and recognized you needed to go a step further to investigate what was wrong. You are to be commended for not giving up - not relying on their faulty judgment, but instead relying on your Mother's instinct.

    We'll continue to keep you & your son in our hearts and thoughts.

    Tillis
     
    2 people like this.
  28. Jan 7, 2015
  29. PaaskeDenmark

    PaaskeDenmark Always think positive CAG PABnoaccred webmeister

    Occupation:
    Clerk with shipping discounts worldwide
    Location:
    UnKnown
    Sad to hear all this. Prayers sent for you wish all the best for you :(
     
    1 person likes this.
  30. Jan 7, 2015
  31. cpdnd31

    cpdnd31 Ueber Meister CAG webmeister

    Occupation:
    -
    Location:
    where the taxes are the highest
    Update: OK the Medical Director of Hospital ER just called me. He said we went through your sons visit and we are completely at fault. That they made a mistake and because of it. they are waiving the emergency room fee. Now me being the person I am I stopped myself from yelling I don't Give a FLYING F__K about the money. I politely said " I appreciate that thought but right now my son looks like the elephant man. Then explained that he now has infection in eye that has spread and missing school and in a great deal of pain. I said do what you need to do. I just want my son healthy again. he then went into full Dr mode asking me all kinds of questions of what was going on. he then proceeded to tell me if he gets certain symptoms to bring him back to the ER for an admit that the infection will need to be treated another way. he also said this infection may have lowered his immune system more causing other problems and that's why the face and neck are swollen. I didn't say really you dumb ass no sh-t. but I truly wanted too. I was very calm throughout this situation because I feel my son is not out of the woods yet and I may need that dam hospital if something happens to him. I ended the conversation with your nurse and Dr mistake has caused my son so much pain please tell me that you will be fixing this issue before this can happen to another child. He said believe me I am dealing with all involved and it is being fixed. I said Thank you he gave me his number and said if you need me please call and he will be letting my sons DR's know as well so they will be at my disposal immediately if I need them. he goes back to Dr on Friday. Keeping fingers crossed that this med kicks in because 2 days now and i am not seeing improvement.
    — feeling tired.
     
    12 people like this.
  32. Jan 7, 2015
  33. MaryJean

    MaryJean Senior Member MM

    Occupation:
    Rancher
    Location:
    Northern California
    Michelle,

    From one mother---and OLD mother---to another---When your son is sleeping---YOU sleep----when your son awakens----you take a vitamin pill and carry on!

    He WILL get better! Believe it!

    MaryJean
     
    2 people like this.
  34. Jan 8, 2015
  35. Nightfly

    Nightfly Experienced Member

    Occupation:
    Disabled
    Location:
    Somewhere USA
    Michelle,, sounds like the hospital director might be trying to avoid a possible lawsuit. But that is secondary. The main issue here is your sons health. I'm praying for a full recovery for your son and peace of mind to you.
     
    4 people like this.
  36. Jan 8, 2015
  37. Casinomeister

    Casinomeister Forum Cheermeister Staff Member

    Occupation:
    Homemaker
    Location:
    Bierland
    Hi Michelle,

    Don't be too hard on yourself - 20/20 hindsight can be a real burden. I'm glad the hospital owned up to their mistake, and I hope your son recovers quickly.
     
    1 person likes this.
  38. Jan 8, 2015
  39. cpdnd31

    cpdnd31 Ueber Meister CAG webmeister

    Occupation:
    -
    Location:
    where the taxes are the highest
    Well today is looking better/ Swelling is starting to go down and it now looks like an eye again. Swelling on jaw line and throat looks lower as well. He finally was able to sleep a full night without waking up in pain. Feeling blessed right now and thank you to so many who have reached out.
     
    13 people like this.

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