I’m such a fool


Nov 30, 2019
Somerset uk
Hi guys, It’s been an absolutely hellish week for me. I have to say I caved into my weaknesses last week and gambled about two months wages in around about 5 hours. There is a build up of how I got to this point which is embarrassing.
From being old enough to gamble I used slot machines in pubs and bookies etc. Then the internet came. I discovered online casinos in around 2002.I gradually got sucked into the world of online and chased bets over and over. Credit cards and loans were so easy to obtain I was like a kid in a sweet shop until the lending stopped. I even knew quite early on the way to a full financial meltdown down that I could voluntarily declare myself bankrupt when the money lending stopped. Everything was a huge secret until I had to tell my family,friends,partner and colleagues. What I had done. I left myself with nothing. Not even the money to buy Christmas presents. Not long after Christmas I sought to declare personal bankruptcy for around 56000 and had to meet the official receiver who agreed I afford £60 monthly for 3 years. And that was it. Being bankrupt helped me out financially however it ruined my relationship with the most amazing person who I still think about today. I lost the trust of my employer and was given the sack, I turned to drugs and alcoholic binges to numb the pain. Overtime things got easier and my life moved on. I still gambled but only small amounts. I was able to open a basic bank account with a visa electron debit card. Ever now and then I’d have a flutter. Life moved on and I met my partner I am with today. I told her all about my gambling habit and bankruptcy but she stuck by me. A year or two into our relationship she discovered I had been gambling and was totally devastated. She threatened to leave me if I ever did it again and I agreed that from that point all of my income would be paid directly into her bank account. I was great full she forgave me and the system of her just giving money when I needed it worked well but not enough for me to still slyly on a rare occasion gamble.
recently my work circumstances have changed, I am now self employed and lots of money is coming into my accounts weekly, I have slipped heavily into gambling and am now currently maxed out all credit cards, nothing in my bank and a huge tax bill to pay by the end a January.
At the beginning of my self employment I gambled immediately and lost a lot of money so I decided to register with Gamstop. That is an amazing tool and has stopped me in my tracks to gamble. That is until I discovered non Gamstop casinos. I wasted about £1500 before realising these site are 100%scams. So the next thing I did to get a gamble fix was to bypass my registered Gamstop details by providing a non matching email and incorrectly spelling my name at the registration of a new account at a well known casino. Hey presto! I was in! I lost everything. I am such a fool for doing all of the things I have. I am just stuck into knowing WTF to do next. I have opened a dispute with the casino but don’t think they will refund me although I was self excluded. I have also experimented with how Gamstop works and have interesting results which I will post about in the next post


Complaints (PAB) Manager
Staff member
Jan 20, 2004
Hi, Max Drayman here. I'm one of the forum moderators.

Given your story I think it best if we move you to the Quit Gambling group here at Casinomeister. That'll block you from accessing most of the gambling related material onsite which would seem like a wise move. You'll still have access to the discussion side of things, just not the casino screenshots, promo sections, etc.


Please let me know.


PS. If there is a problem with the move to Quit Gambling we can always reverse it. JSYK.
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Nov 30, 2019
Somerset uk
I know I can stop. I have done. And will seek help. I am not going to ruin Christmas and will drop the bombshell in January and potentially get kicked out of my house then! I am confident I will be able to manage my finances,And have a meeting with a good accountant on Monday.I will be able to defer payments on my tax bill in January and pay off the 3.5k on my cards gradually. I am still going to pursue the casino to refund me and I have requested a copy of the log Gamstop had provided the casino saying if I was self excluded or not and I have requested this from them under the freedom of information act. I believe there are many casinos profiting from self excluded UK playerS registered to Gamstop and the are breaching the terms of their licenses when they allow them to set up new accounts with differences to their registered Gamstop details.


WebMeister & Slotaholic..
Aug 25, 2004
Bexhill on sea, England
At the beginning of my self employment I gambled immediately and lost a lot of money...
This is a tragic story which none of of like to see, but at the same time, well done you for admitting you have a serious problem. Hopefully this will be just part of your journey towards getting your life back on track.

I was addicted to fruit machines in my early years (late teens + twenties) but never got myself in really serious trouble because there always came a point when I realised I had lost too much already and had to stop.
I guess some people just don't have this "control mechanism".
The big question is WHY do you still feel the need to gamble after what you've already been through?
People drink too much because they want to get drunk, or take drugs to get high, but what is the purpose of gambling? If it is an attempt to win back your previous losses, you must accept that is NEVER going to happen.

I sincerely hope you get the professional help you need and you find a way to keep gambling out of your life.



Get dunked, big buns!
Aug 29, 2012
Who knows the real reason why people do what they do, but in the case of heavy gambling on this scale it's likely several factors.....

Outright escapism, guilt, short-term dopamine fix, and just habitual laziness.

And whilst very small gains can occasionally be made as we all know, there is absolutely no way that amount can be recouped. So stopping gambling is the only thing to do here, and finding another pastime.