Help Needed!

[louisebxx]

Well, you really don't have to do that if you don't want to.

There is some good advice in this thread that you can choose to take on board or otherwise. Were I in your apparent tragic situation for all sorts of reasons - the last thing I'd be worried about is justifying myself here.

I have taken everything on board and do thank the more helpful comments. I have already before this post gone full steam ahead and wish now that I hadn't but I can't take it back so will just have to see what happens. I look at some of the comments made and feel that if an addict asking for help came here and got that I hate to think of them logging off. Hate anyone kicking people when they are down. It took a lot to post and ask for help especially under my daughters account who had already been deceitful. At first I understood the questions but now it feels like a personal attack. I wont be any longer

 

[louisebxx]

I think the apparent third party reporting, on this thread and in previous ones, is what's causing some people to assume everything is not as it seems. Gamblers generally can be very deceitful and, in this forum particularly, there has been all manner of stories and accounts and nonsense over the years. People will be naturally suspicious.

Searching the threads you'll also find that a problem gambler coming here and saying "Help" will be treated absolutely correctly and in the sympathetic but constructive manner you would expect.

Whatever the issue here, there clearly is one, and I sincerely hope you get the help required from whomever/whatever/wherever that is.

I can fully understand and have done but to a point. I know first hand just how deceitful and manipulative it can make a person. I have looked over the one or two and will look over more before I close this account. The ones I have read do have comments that are not helpful and point out the obvious even when the person is making an effort and it does seem to be the same people.

There are and I am only just starting to find out how much of a problem. I don't accept that it was my fault for not noticing or managing or my wife's. We never had any reason to think she was or even how bad it had got. Perhaps my fault is the pressure of my operations and health has added to the stress and not picking up that something was wrong but neither will I accept that the casinos are not at fault either. I self excluded her for good and she still received emails about offers which I am picking up. Her activity over the last 4 weeks was over 100x more than what it was from July 13 - Feb 14 in total. Payments allowed through with totally different details? UKGC has recognised this and added it.

But I am going to go now and support my daughter as best I can I take the advise given ignoring the negative judgemental BS.
Thanks again to the sincere wishes and helpful comments.

 

[louisebxx]

Well this post has done it's job a casino has email to say that they have self excluded.

That is an example of Duty of Care and a proactive approach in helping problem gamblers.

Thanks Guts Casino

 

[dunover]

Sympathy will not help you. Sorry if that sounds harsh, but it won't. Kill her e-mail account(s) off, or get someone to change the password from outside your house so they can't be accessed. They'll eventually fill up and bounce the never-read e-mails. You are unwilling to report the matter and get an easier solution to the financial aspect. So, you will have to take your chances down the avenues you are currently going. There is no guarantee of success - be aware of that.

One thing you have observed correctly is how deceitful and sly addicts can be - if you have been deceived, how did the casinos stand a chance? You can't make her stop. You can put preventative measures in the way, like taking her cards off of her and managing her finances but the stopping has to come from inside her. After the shame and fallout from this affair, a month or two down the line when matters have been dealt with and are not the main household talking point, she will be likely to try and gamble again as the waters have calmed. Be aware of this - you will have to be observant and suspicious for a long time, and it's not nice. There will likely be relapse(s) that have to be dealt with, maybe using prepaid-with-cash cards/vouchers as payment methods to escape your notice. There are over 2 thousand casinos most of which have never heard of her.

The financial recovery will be simple compared to the recovery from compulsive gambling. Yes, short-term you are trying to remedy that, but long-term it is quite insignificant as you will see.

Sorry that my posts have been blunt, but as Slotster said we see every type of conman, fraudster, charge-backer, multi-accounter and goodwill-abuser on here with alarming regularity. Genuine cases are very rare, as you will understand as you have digested the level of deceit exercised yourself now.

I think you need to be just as blunt and cynical yourself whilst dealing with this. You'll understand why eventually.

 

[louisebxx]

Sympathy will not help you. Sorry if that sounds harsh, but it won't. Kill her e-mail account(s) off, or get someone to change the password from outside your house so they can't be accessed. They'll eventually fill up and bounce the never-read e-mails. You are unwilling to report the matter and get an easier solution to the financial aspect. So, you will have to take your chances down the avenues you are currently going. There is no guarantee of success - be aware of that.

One thing you have observed correctly is how deceitful and sly addicts can be - if you have been deceived, how did the casinos stand a chance? You can't make her stop. You can put preventative measures in the way, like taking her cards off of her and managing her finances but the stopping has to come from inside her. After the shame and fallout from this affair, a month or two down the line when matters have been dealt with and are not the main household talking point, she will be likely to try and gamble again as the waters have calmed. Be aware of this - you will have to be observant and suspicious for a long time, and it's not nice. There will likely be relapse(s) that have to be dealt with, maybe using prepaid-with-cash cards/vouchers as payment methods to escape your notice. There are over 2 thousand casinos most of which have never heard of her.

The financial recovery will be simple compared to the recovery from compulsive gambling. Yes, short-term you are trying to remedy that, but long-term it is quite insignificant as you will see.

Sorry that my posts have been blunt, but as Slotster said we see every type of conman, fraudster, charge-backer, multi-accounter and goodwill-abuser on here with alarming regularity. Genuine cases are very rare, as you will understand as you have digested the level of deceit exercised yourself now.

I think you need to be just as blunt and cynical yourself whilst dealing with this. You'll understand why eventually.

I am starting to realise how bad the situation is. Thanks for the advice it is appreciated. I have invested in gamblock and will be closing paypal, changing my bank details and I have also blocked her account with the bank and she no longer has a card to make purchases or bank transfers. Luckily she doesn't go into betting shops as she doesn't leave the house so everything is now cash. She does go back and forth to a friends and they are aware and will help. Her weakness in online.

Financially I have spoken to my payees and they so far have been really helpful and understand so that does clear that pressure but yes long term is a worry when she is in recovery and back on her feet and stable then it will be up to her I just want to make sure during the darkest time now she has support but does understand that it's totally up to her to maintain it and keep control. As they say you have to hit rock bottom to become stronger.

Lack of trust from us and others is something she will have to face as do all addicts and that'll be for life. I think her main issue is being out sick and not working. She's always worked and now since Feb 2013 she can't she's become bored which has contributed. Idle hand and the devil is certainly true. Once she is back fit to work that will help too.

 

[Dinahnana]

I am starting to realise how bad the situation is. Thanks for the advice it is appreciated. I have invested in gamblock and will be closing paypal, changing my bank details and I have also blocked her account with the bank and she no longer has a card to make purchases or bank transfers. Luckily she doesn't go into betting shops as she doesn't leave the house so everything is now cash. She does go back and forth to a friends and they are aware and will help. Her weakness in online.

Financially I have spoken to my payees and they so far have been really helpful and understand so that does clear that pressure but yes long term is a worry when she is in recovery and back on her feet and stable then it will be up to her I just want to make sure during the darkest time now she has support but does understand that it's totally up to her to maintain it and keep control. As they say you have to hit rock bottom to become stronger.

Lack of trust from us and others is something she will have to face as do all addicts and that'll be for life. I think her main issue is being out sick and not working. She's always worked and now since Feb 2013 she can't she's become bored which has contributed. Idle hand and the devil is certainly true. Once she is back fit to work that will help too.

Gamblock is a great tool and I believe you can also install it in smart phones to prevent mobile gambling. I think your daughter is very lucky to have supportive parents. Also taking control over her finances is the best thing you could do for her at this time. It is easier for the compulsive gambler to stop gambling if they don't have access to funds. You probably have to remain in control of her finances for some time and give her an allowance or something even when she goes back to work. If she is truly committed to recovery then over time she will get better and with help she can discover what her triggers are and learn to stay away from them.

I wish you and your family good health and happiness in the future

 

[dunover]

I am starting to realise how bad the situation is. Thanks for the advice it is appreciated. I have invested in gamblock and will be closing paypal, changing my bank details and I have also blocked her account with the bank and she no longer has a card to make purchases or bank transfers. Luckily she doesn't go into betting shops as she doesn't leave the house so everything is now cash. She does go back and forth to a friends and they are aware and will help. Her weakness in online.

Financially I have spoken to my payees and they so far have been really helpful and understand so that does clear that pressure but yes long term is a worry when she is in recovery and back on her feet and stable then it will be up to her I just want to make sure during the darkest time now she has support but does understand that it's totally up to her to maintain it and keep control. As they say you have to hit rock bottom to become stronger.

Lack of trust from us and others is something she will have to face as do all addicts and that'll be for life. I think her main issue is being out sick and not working. She's always worked and now since Feb 2013 she can't she's become bored which has contributed. Idle hand and the devil is certainly true. Once she is back fit to work that will help too.

Right - part of the job is for you to shut the doors to her accessing her addiction, which you are doing clearly. The biggest part is to stop her from trying the doors that you have shut later.
You must ALWAYS be suspicious - if she drops a piece of paper check it - it may the end of a chocolate wrapper, but it could be a UKcash ticket purchased for cash at the local store. Try to keep the suspicion subtle, as overdoing it will make her more furtive and harder to catch out.
Distraction helps too. Keep her busy if you can, reading/hobby. Don't leave her alone for long periods. When she talks about it, you must stress that the money lost is GONE forever, treat it retrospectively as the cost of a hobby she once had, NOT as a loss that must be regained. This is why some many addicts fail to recover; they see the past as connected with now, and feel that somehow it must be balanced out to make 'now' better.

 

[chayton]

I will not be commenting anymore or replying as I feel it is getting to be a personal attack on me and my family.

You have to realize that most of the long standing members here have heard all sorts of excuses and rationalizations and outright lies by people who went off the rails and gambled more than they could afford to lose. There was the woman who first doctored a screenshot that she won, when that was proven to be a fraud, she doctored 'proof' that her account was hacked after she played and lost. When THAT was proven to be fraudulent she claimed to be a police officer and all of those previous issues were actually her 16 year old son.

Then we have the people who come in and cry foul and garner sympathy and it turns out that they're multi-accounting fraudsters. And just recently there was a whole spate of players doing self exclusion fraud.

And to have one person pretend to be more than one person is nothing new - there was the guy who was his grandma and another guy who was his underage son. There have been multiple forum members who had various forum accounts and sometimes even carried on conversations with themselves.

But anyhow, the point I'm trying to make is that this forum is a magnet for liars and crooks and people suffering from gambler's remorse who will tell any kind of story to garner sympathy and try to coerce the casinos into giving them back the money they lost. I'm not saying that you're one of them, but we can't help but be suspicious.

IF your story is true, then all of the accounts your daughter opened should be permanently excluded by the casinos involved. As much as you don't want to admit it or make her take responsibility, what she did was criminal fraud. No casinos want fraudulent players, so having those accounts closed should be really easy, and chances are that she'll be added to some sort of blacklist where opening an account will be almost impossible.

However, unless you can prove that the casinos did anything wrong by taking her deposits, getting any money back is probably unrealistic. IF you think you have a case, you could contact Max and see if he will accept a PAB. He will see evidence from both sides and get to the truth of the matter.

 

[louisebxx]

Gamblock is a great tool and I believe you can also install it in smart phones to prevent mobile gambling. I think your daughter is very lucky to have supportive parents. Also taking control over her finances is the best thing you could do for her at this time. It is easier for the compulsive gambler to stop gambling if they don't have access to funds. You probably have to remain in control of her finances for some time and give her an allowance or something even when she goes back to work. If she is truly committed to recovery then over time she will get better and with help she can discover what her triggers are and learn to stay away from them.

I wish you and your family good health and happiness in the future

I'm keeping a tight grip on everything and also tracking changes. She started the meetings and it's helping as it's giving us reasons for her compulsion. One main point was about self harming where it was always seen as a cry for help now we know that it was a compulsive behavior. Her triggers seems to be a loss of control and stress. She opened up about a lot more. I'm willing to help her in anyway they did say to keep a diary and for to as well. Thanks

 

[louisebxx]

You have to realize that most of the long standing members here have heard all sorts of excuses and rationalizations and outright lies by people who went off the rails and gambled more than they could afford to lose. There was the woman who first doctored a screenshot that she won, when that was proven to be a fraud, she doctored 'proof' that her account was hacked after she played and lost. When THAT was proven to be fraudulent she claimed to be a police officer and all of those previous issues were actually her 16 year old son.

Then we have the people who come in and cry foul and garner sympathy and it turns out that they're multi-accounting fraudsters. And just recently there was a whole spate of players doing self exclusion fraud.

And to have one person pretend to be more than one person is nothing new - there was the guy who was his grandma and another guy who was his underage son. There have been multiple forum members who had various forum accounts and sometimes even carried on conversations with themselves.

But anyhow, the point I'm trying to make is that this forum is a magnet for liars and crooks and people suffering from gambler's remorse who will tell any kind of story to garner sympathy and try to coerce the casinos into giving them back the money they lost. I'm not saying that you're one of them, but we can't help but be suspicious.

IF your story is true, then all of the accounts your daughter opened should be permanently excluded by the casinos involved. As much as you don't want to admit it or make her take responsibility, what she did was criminal fraud. No casinos want fraudulent players, so having those accounts closed should be really easy, and chances are that she'll be added to some sort of blacklist where opening an account will be almost impossible.

However, unless you can prove that the casinos did anything wrong by taking her deposits, getting any money back is probably unrealistic. IF you think you have a case, you could contact Max and see if he will accept a PAB. He will see evidence from both sides and get to the truth of the matter.

wow I am in shock. This post helped as one casino off their own back closed her account and I am hoping more will follow because I'm finding accounts and emails everywhere and the size of her debt is enormous. I think what I will do is close this account or put up a new one for myself so I can update you guys on her progress. I didn't mean to get worked up and I do understand especially after reading above and coming from my daughter's posts I would be the same. I know it is criminal but I also know my daughter and she has never even thought about doing anything like this before. She has a long tough time ahead we all do to put her and us through that doesn't sit right with me. She's serious about her recovery as she talks about nothing else even the losses have been replaced by a sense of hope and a renewed interest in other things. Tonight she came back full of beans. I'm hoping this means the start. In a way I am lucky that it was just me and not an employer or a stranger in a sense. The only thing I will ask in relation to the casinos is that they wont communicate with me only my daughter as she is the account holder. I need to close accounts and to also talk about the use of my Paypal as I still would like to know why and an idea of the usage history. I did PM Mr Green's Rep on here but I he told me the same thing. I could get her to do that with me watching but I think its asking for trouble. I've managed to self exclude quite a few but from emails I think there could be quite a few more. I've asked her but there could always be one or two missed. I don't want to get around it and I would prefer to deal with them myself directly. If they do still insist I would have to go to the regulators so they can do something like maybe an alert or something about her.

 

[Dinahnana]

I'm keeping a tight grip on everything and also tracking changes. She started the meetings and it's helping as it's giving us reasons for her compulsion. One main point was about self harming where it was always seen as a cry for help now we know that it was a compulsive behavior. Her triggers seems to be a loss of control and stress. She opened up about a lot more. I'm willing to help her in anyway they did say to keep a diary and for to as well. Thanks

I am glad she is moving in the right direction. Self harming is a serious issue and perhaps your daughter could benefit from one to one counseling sessions with a therapist in addition to the meetings. She is luckier than most as she has an excellent support network judging by your posts so her prospect for recovery looks good. Since being online is a trigger for your daughter I would suggest she stay away from computers for a couple of months in order to give time for her to get some benefits from the treatment. Again I wish you all the best and hope everything works out favourably in the end

 

[louisebxx]

Right - part of the job is for you to shut the doors to her accessing her addiction, which you are doing clearly. The biggest part is to stop her from trying the doors that you have shut later.
You must ALWAYS be suspicious - if she drops a piece of paper check it - it may the end of a chocolate wrapper, but it could be a UKcash ticket purchased for cash at the local store. Try to keep the suspicion subtle, as overdoing it will make her more furtive and harder to catch out.
Distraction helps too. Keep her busy if you can, reading/hobby. Don't leave her alone for long periods. When she talks about it, you must stress that the money lost is GONE forever, treat it retrospectively as the cost of a hobby she once had, NOT as a loss that must be regained. This is why some many addicts fail to recover; they see the past as connected with now, and feel that somehow it must be balanced out to make 'now' better.

Thanks for that I never thought that a relapsed would be because of past losses but makes sense. This is why I want to get as many accounts closed as possible and make sure any avenues are not open and she wont be able to open any new accounts. Once she's had her operations she'll be able to work and will need the PC for cvs and job searches so I'm really hoping the blocking software doesn't let any slip through the net. Is it worth a second one being added just to make sure?

We talk about her recovery mostly now she hasn't mentioned what she's lost for a few days, shes upbeat and full of beans especially after tonight's meeting but I understand that can change with a trigger. I'm getting to know what they are like loss of control and stress but I know they could be anything.

 

[louisebxx]

I am glad she is moving in the right direction. Self harming is a serious issue and perhaps your daughter could benefit from one to one counseling sessions with a therapist in addition to the meetings. She is luckier than most as she has an excellent support network judging by your posts so her prospect for recovery looks good. Since being online is a trigger for your daughter I would suggest she stay away from computers for a couple of months in order to give time for her to get some benefits from the treatment. Again I wish you all the best and hope everything works out favourably in the end

Thanks we going to our GP this week to ask about a referral to a behavioural therapist or something like that and psychologist are they the same thing?

Thanks again for your wishes.

 

[Dinahnana]

Thanks we going to our GP this week to ask about a referral to a behavioural therapist or something like that and psychologist are they the same thing?

Thanks again for your wishes.

I believe a behavioural therapist practices Cognitive Behavioural Therapy which has great results in treating addictions. Basically a behavioural therapist focuses on the problems the patient is experience now and helps them break the problems down into smaller parts. This is the simple explanation. Your GP can advise you which route to go down.

 

[dunover]

Right - a warning about Gamblock: If it's added to any devices she could use, it will work very effectively and she won't be able to access any gambling sites at all, excluded or not. The only trouble with it is that it is like herpes - once it's there, it's there until the carrier dies. If you are reading news say, and there's a story about "Lottos winner's wife was hooker" or something, Gamblock will prevent you reading it under threat of shutting the PC down in 60 seconds. Same goes for some sports sites and sites with gambling advert banners even though nothing to do with gambling.
YOU CANNOT DO A SYSTEM RESTORE ON YOUR PC WHEN IT IS INSTALLED, WHETHER IT'S IN LICENCE OR DEACTIVATED AFTER THE 12 MONTH LICENCE HAS EXPIRED.
If your computer gets a conflict issue or virus this means you cannot restore it to any point at all - you will get a red warning window if you attempt it and it will instantly shut down and reboot. Your computer is effectively unsaleable unless you wipe the HD and reinstall your OS - partition won't work either.

 

[chayton]

I need to close accounts and to also talk about the use of my Paypal as I still would like to know why and an idea of the usage history. I did PM Mr Green's Rep on here but I he told me the same thing. I could get her to do that with me watching but I think its asking for trouble. I've managed to self exclude quite a few but from emails I think there could be quite a few more. I've asked her but there could always be one or two missed. I don't want to get around it and I would prefer to deal with them myself directly. If they do still insist I would have to go to the regulators so they can do something like maybe an alert or something about her.

No casino worth their salt will share information about a player's deposit history or transaction details with anyone EXCEPT the account holder - nor should they. Otherwise I could contact any casino that dunover has an account and say I'm his wife and I want to know how much he's spending. And if that's why he never buys me flowers anymore.

If casino support calls for me and my boyfriend answers the phone, they tell him it's about my 'online account' - they won't even tell him they're calling from a casino, that's how important player privacy is.

That's why I suggested contacting Maxd about a PAB because as a mediator, casinos WILL share certain information with him that you won't be privy to.

 

[Jasminebed]

Your daughter could give you a General Power of Attorney, or even a Limited Power of Attorney. A Power of Attorney allows you to act as your daughter, enter into contracts, sell property, use her financial accounts, and basically have all the rights and signing authority that she does. It does not prevent her from doing these things as well.

A limited Power of Attorney would specify exactly what matter(s) you are empowered to act on her behalf, and not give you the full power that a general Power of Attorney does. This is a legal document and would be accepted.

Fairly standard documents, a lawyer shouldn't charge very much for them. I know right now is not a great time to spend money, but that will change.

As for therapy, make sure whoever she sees either works with a psychiatist or a GP, so medication can be prescribed if necessary.

A psychologist will hold a degree in psychology. A therapist can have training from a multitude of sources, (or possibly none at all here in Canada) some better than others.

She didn't develop this addiction overnight, it won't be fixed overnight either.

 

[rshkrn]

Glad you are moving in the right direction, but just wondering what proactive steps would you be taking to ensure she doesn't go online to the other thousands of casinos from say a friend's laptop or something like that? One option could be to have mobile alerts for all debit transactions regardless of the amount from all your family accounts/cards....

 

[louisebxx]

I believe a behavioural therapist practices Cognitive Behavioural Therapy which has great results in treating addictions. Basically a behavioural therapist focuses on the problems the patient is experience now and helps them break the problems down into smaller parts. This is the simple explanation. Your GP can advise you which route to go down.

Thanks for that information. Its seems that's the best route to take.

 

[louisebxx]

Right - a warning about Gamblock: If it's added to any devices she could use, it will work very effectively and she won't be able to access any gambling sites at all, excluded or not. The only trouble with it is that it is like herpes - once it's there, it's there until the carrier dies. If you are reading news say, and there's a story about "Lottos winner's wife was hooker" or something, Gamblock will prevent you reading it under threat of shutting the PC down in 60 seconds. Same goes for some sports sites and sites with gambling advert banners even though nothing to do with gambling.
YOU CANNOT DO A SYSTEM RESTORE ON YOUR PC WHEN IT IS INSTALLED, WHETHER IT'S IN LICENCE OR DEACTIVATED AFTER THE 12 MONTH LICENCE HAS EXPIRED.
If your computer gets a conflict issue or virus this means you cannot restore it to any point at all - you will get a red warning window if you attempt it and it will instantly shut down and reboot. Your computer is effectively unsaleable unless you wipe the HD and reinstall your OS - partition won't work either.

Thanks for the warning, Luckily we have family friend who builds computers and programmes etc. I'm going to show him and see if he has any other solutions. Not worried about the news side of things. Banks as well in that case. As I am sorting her financials out her bank statements may show sites like Jackpot Joy?

 

[louisebxx]

No casino worth their salt will share information about a player's deposit history or transaction details with anyone EXCEPT the account holder - nor should they. Otherwise I could contact any casino that dunover has an account and say I'm his wife and I want to know how much he's spending. And if that's why he never buys me flowers anymore.

If casino support calls for me and my boyfriend answers the phone, they tell him it's about my 'online account' - they won't even tell him they're calling from a casino, that's how important player privacy is.

That's why I suggested contacting Maxd about a PAB because as a mediator, casinos WILL share certain information with him that you won't be privy to.

It does make sense its just frustrating. Will try that route today. Thanks

 

[louisebxx]

Your daughter could give you a General Power of Attorney, or even a Limited Power of Attorney. A Power of Attorney allows you to act as your daughter, enter into contracts, sell property, use her financial accounts, and basically have all the rights and signing authority that she does. It does not prevent her from doing these things as well.

A limited Power of Attorney would specify exactly what matter(s) you are empowered to act on her behalf, and not give you the full power that a general Power of Attorney does. This is a legal document and would be accepted.

Fairly standard documents, a lawyer shouldn't charge very much for them. I know right now is not a great time to spend money, but that will change.

As for therapy, make sure whoever she sees either works with a psychiatist or a GP, so medication can be prescribed if necessary.

A psychologist will hold a degree in psychology. A therapist can have training from a multitude of sources, (or possibly none at all here in Canada) some better than others.

She didn't develop this addiction overnight, it won't be fixed overnight either.

Going down that route does worry me solicitor fess and such. Luckily banks have been ok to talk to me after a signed letter by her. Will try speaking to Maxd and if that fails then will have to look to get one drawn up.

I understand that and I am prepared for that as is she. She knows that she will never be able to gamble again period and she doesn't want to either so its a start.

Thanks

 

[louisebxx]

Glad you are moving in the right direction, but just wondering what proactive steps would you be taking to ensure she doesn't go online to the other thousands of casinos from say a friend's laptop or something like that? One option could be to have mobile alerts for all debit transactions regardless of the amount from all your family accounts/cards....

Thanks. I have made all her friends aware of the situation and she doesn't have any access to a debit card or online money account only cash when needed. I don't know if our banks would do that but I can certainly try and see what they say.

 

[paul7388]

Okay I'm glad you are starting to get everything sorted but and its a big but. It seems that tho you are trying everything to help your daughter its YOU that's doing it. Sorry but if your daughter really wants help she needs to deal with these things herself. From what I've read it seems you are basically taking over her life. I know addictions are terrible whether its gambling, drugs, alcohol but any addict will never get better till they take responsibility for their own actions. I can stick a drug addict in rehab till they are clean but unless they really want to stay clean and have the will power its useless. I believe your daughter wants help but you need to let her do it. By all means take care of finances etc. So she can't gamble but she needs to be the one to contact casinos etc and take reponsibilty or you aren't really helping. Any addict will say they are sorry and want help but until they get the help themselves noone will know if they truly mean it

 

[louisebxx]

She is helping herself too. The way I see it I can help her like handle her money, taking away her internet access, dealing with the casinos etc but ultimately it is her who has the hard work to do in that she is in recovery but also that she stays in recovery. Addiction affects everyone in the household. I'm only doing what any spouse of an addict would do. Most addicts fail because they don't have a good network of support. I am proud to be able to help my daughter fight this but she knows and is fully aware that only she can do it. We can give her the tool and support but that's it. For me it'll be worth once I get my daughter back and see her happy and fulfil her potential. Therapy and behaviour treatment will not only treat her compulsion but will also help with her ability to deal with anxiety and depression.