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Glorious Insults With Class

Discussion in 'The Attic' started by GGW Laurie, Aug 18, 2010.

    Aug 18, 2010
  1. GGW Laurie

    GGW Laurie Dormant account

    Occupation:
    Self Employed
    Location:
    In the Beautiful South !!
    These glorious insults are from an era before the English language was boiled down to 4-letter words.




    The exchange between Churchill & Lady Astor:



    She said, "If you were my husband I'd give you poison."

    He said, "If you were my wife, I'd drink it."


    A member of Parliament to Disraeli: "Sir, you will either die on the gallows or of some unspeakable disease."
    "That depends, Sir," said Disraeli, "whether I embrace your policies or your mistress."


    "He had delusions of adequacy." - Walter Kerr


    "He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire." - Winston Churchill


    "I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure." Clarence Darrow


    "He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary." - William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway).


    "Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time reading it." - Moses Hadas


    "I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it." - Mark Twain


    "He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.." - Oscar Wilde


    "I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend.... if you have one." - George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill

    "Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second.... if there is one." - Winston Churchill, in response.


    "I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here." - Stephen Bishop


    "He is a self-made man and worships his creator." - John Bright


    "I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial." - Irvin S. Cobb


    "He is not only dull himself; he is the cause of dullness in others." - Samuel Johnson


    "He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up." - Paul Keating


    "In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily." - Charles, Count Talleyrand


    "He loves nature in spite of what it did to him." - Forrest Tucker


    "Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?" - Mark Twain


    "His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork." - Mae West


    "Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.." - Oscar Wilde


    "He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts... for support rather than illumination." - Andrew Lang (1844-1912)


    "He has Van Gogh's ear for music." - Billy Wilder


    "I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it." - Groucho Marx
     
    4 people like this.
  2. Aug 18, 2010
  3. kauphy

    kauphy Meister Member

    Occupation:
    mom
    Location:
    az
    oh my gosh how funny are those?

    rotflmao what a way to start a morning:D

    :lolup:
     
    1 person likes this.
  4. Aug 18, 2010
  5. secret2

    secret2 irishbrit62 MM

    Occupation:
    driver
    Location:
    New York, United States
    Gotta love Oscar!

    Lol..very funny!

    The Irish have a way of telling you to go to hell and you actually look forward to it.

    I think Oscar replied to a woman who told him that she "passed by your house the other day" to which he simply replied, 'Thank-you".:D
     
    1 person likes this.

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